Those Blue Eyes
by BikerChick101
Summary: Nate and Serena completely AU : She agrees to an arranged marriage to help her parents and ends up falling in love
1. Chapter 1

It was a boring party, her grandmother always loved taking her to boring parties with grown-ups who just stand around and talk, holding big glasses with something that looks like sparkling apple juice and there's no-one her age to play with, so she ends up sitting in a chair away from the party with her little brother Erik watching everyone else have fun. She doesn't understand why her grandmother doesn't just get a nanny to watch her and Erik at the house while she's here, at least there they could watch TV or play a game or swim but instead she forced to wear a silly dress that's making her arms itch and shoes that pinch her toes and her hair keeps getting in her face.

Erik's asleep in the chair next to her, his tiny thumb stuck in his mouth, Serena knows her mother wouldn't like that but he looks so comfortable that she doesn't want to move him. Serena traces the contours of her brother's face just for something to do when a little boy catches her eye, on a normal day she wouldn't have thought anything of it but today she notices him because he's the only other child here.

He looks like he's six like she is, he's got blond hair that looks a little like Erik's does that falls onto his face almost into his eyes. Serena can't see his eyes though because he's looking away from her at an old man that Serena recognizes as William van der Bilt, her grandmother introduced him to them as the host of the party when they first got there. There's a lady next to the boy clutching his hand in hers really tightly and she's glaring at the old man like she her mom sometimes glares at her dad when she's mad with him.

Serena is watching them, just for something to do when she notices his other hand is clutching onto something, she can't tell what it is because from where she's looking all she can see it a little silver peeking out from beneath his fingers. Serena can't help but watch this boy from where she's sitting, he's just staring at the adults like they aren't having a huge fight and she wonders if she could ever be able to keep her calm the way he is right now.

Serena's watching his face when he turns and looks at her straight in the eyes, she wants to turn away because her cheeks are turning a bright shade of red after being caught staring at this boy but his eyes don't allow her too. They are so blue, too blue, they're captivating and she just wants to stare at them forever because they are so pretty.

The woman holding the little boys hand pulls him away with such force that he drops whatever it was that he was holding, Serena sees him reach for it but the lady picks him up and carries him out of the venue before he can start fussing. The old man is gone as well and the silver trinket is still on the ground, nobody else seemed to have noticed it. Serena makes sure Erik is fast asleep before quickly running to where the boy was and picking up the necklace he dropped.

Serena finds it strange that a boy is carrying around a necklace with a heart pendent on it, there's tiny pretty blue diamonds covering the pendent giving it that elegant feel but not overdoing it so it looks like it can only be worn to big parties her mom and dad go to. Serena puts the necklace in her pocket and thinks that if she ever see's the boy again she'll give it back to him, she doesn't want to admit that the only reason she's keeping it and not giving it to her grandma is because it reminded her of his eyes, so blue and sparkly.

When they finally get home that night her grandmother tells her that the boy she was staring at was Nathaniel Archibald and Serena looks at her confused, she didn't even realize anyone saw her staring at him. Serena tries but she can't pronounce his name so her grandmother tells her it's ok to call him Nate, everyone else does, Serena finds that much easier to say. He is Williams grandson and he was only there for a short time because his mother got into a fight with his grandfather and left. Serena yawned and nodded, she didn't know why her grandmother was telling her so much about these people but the scene she watched play out makes a little more sense now.

She doesn't tell her grandma about the necklace that's her secret and she's going to keep it, she always wants to remember the boy with the blue eyes. When she goes back home two weeks later with the necklace tucked into her jewelry box she can't remember where she got it from or who gave it to her, all she knows is that she never wants to let go of that feeling she gets every time she looks at something so blue.

*16 years later*

"We should move in together, don't you think?" Serena says from her place on the bed, she runs her finger gently over the outline of the heart necklace sitting on her neck.

"Move in where and with what money," Dan, her boyfriend of four years asks turning in his chair to look at her, they were sitting in his college dorm room, she was lying on the bed bored and he was trying to finish an assignment unsuccessfully.

"I don't know we could get a place somewhere, I'll ask daddy to find us a place, he'll take care of everything we'll just have to live there," Serena said smiling.

"I think you're overestimating how much your parents like me," he says and she frowns, she knows her parents have a problem with Dan because he's not from the Upper East Side, he doesn't have expensive cars or designer clothes or anything else that she's always had in her world but he's good to her and good _for_ her, that should count for something.

"They'll love you as much as I do once they realize how serious we are," Serena says.

"We've been serious for four years and nothing's changed," Dan says shaking his head exasperatedly at her, they've had this conversation multiple times before, he doesn't fit in her world, no-one likes him there and he doesn't like them either but he loves her and that's all there is to it.

"They don't know that!" Serena exclaimed and Dan raised an eyebrow. "You've only met them a few times and we've been together for four years and you haven't even brought up marriage yet."

"Is that what this is about? Serena we are twenty-two years old, we're barely in our twenties, we are too young to get married," Dan said and Serena frowned.

"I already know that there's no-one else I'd rather be with, if you think you need to play the field a little bit before settling down fine," Serena said shrugging and getting up. "Let's take a break."

"Serena no stop," he said getting up and grabbing her hand. "I don't want to take a break, I want to be with you for the rest of my life as well but I think marriage is a bit too much for us right now."

Serena took a breath and nodded, "I just want to know that you're as committed to this relationship as I am," she said flopping back onto the bed and he frowned.

"What makes you think I'm not?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"You never take me seriously Dan, I mean I want us to live together, we don't have to be married but I want to share my grocery list with you, I want to have my toothbrush next to yours in the bathroom and I want to fight with you over laundry and dishes and who's turn it is to cook," Serena said.

"You cook, really?" he asked and she huffed.

"That's all you got out of that?" Serena asked and Dan laughed. "See you aren't even taking this seriously."

"I am, I'm sorry I am," Dan said smiling at her. "I want that stuff with you too, just maybe in a few years when we are working and we have the money to do all of that without your parents help."

"Why are you so against my parents helping us?" Serena asked and Dan sighed he really didn't want to be having this conversation with her, especially not now.

"I don't want anything from the Upper East Side ok?" he said rubbing his temples. "I just want to say that everything I have, I worked for."

"So what about me?" Serena asked and Dan looked at her confused clearly not understanding the question. "You said you didn't want anything from the Upper East Side, whether you want to accept it or not, that's where I'm from and if you're with me, there's always going to be ties to it."

"But that's different, you're different," he said. "Look maybe I'm not explaining this properly but I want to be with you Serena but I just want to be with you on our own terms not your family's."

"Fine," Serena said clearly not happy with his answer but willing to accept it for now. "I hope you know that there's already speculation."

"About what," Dan asked, not following her train of thought.

"About me getting married and a whole lot of other things," Serena said and Dan grunted and looked away from her again, he didn't bother reading those gossip magazines but his sister was obsessed with them and she regularly called to check if the things they said about Serena was true so he knew what she was talking about and he didn't like it.

"This is another reason I don't want to be a part of the Upper East Side, your lives are always so chronicled," Dan says and Serena giggles because she can't disagree with him there. She hears so many rumors about her friends and family on a daily basis that it was hard to keep track of what was real. "Why do you want to get your own place now?"

"Because I don't want to live with my parents anymore," Serena says. "I want to be independent and all the things you're supposed to be after high school."

"And you think asking your dad to buy you a house is going to make you independent?" Dan asked almost laughing at her and Serena frowned.

"I just need a start and I can work from there," Serena says frowning, he always laughs at her when she's trying to be serious.

"Serena let's wait until both of us are working and we can do things by ourselves," Dan said and Serena lets out a slow breath, she knows this is the end of the conversation. "It will feel much better trust me."

"What do you know about Chuck Bass?" Serena asked suddenly, she was playing with the teddy she bought Dan for Valentine's Day that always sat on his bed.

"Urm real estate heir, he took over his father's business, why?" Dan asked.

"Because he and his best friend are moving into my building and everyone's talking about it," she said. "I felt out of the loop not knowing who he was."

"He's a douche," Dan says, furrowing his eyebrows at his book.

"How do you know, you've never met the guy," Serena says. "Maybe he's sweet."

"He grew up in a life of luxury, he never had to do anything in his life and now he's one of the youngest and most successful people in the business world," Dan said turning to her. "He's obviously a douche."

"Presumptuous much," Serena said raising an eyebrow disapprovingly and Dan shrugged his shoulders turning back to his books.

"I'm speaking from experience," Dan said and Serena scoffed.

"You think this guy's a douche because Jeremy Miller made your life hell in high school and now he's running his dads company and skipping college," Serena said rolling her eyes, she hated when Dan got judgmental of people he didn't even know. "Not everyone's like him."

"Trust me, you and Erik are unaffected by everything, the others are controlled by money and they think that those that don't have money belong in the dumps," Dan said and Serena fought the urge to roll her eyes again.

"You're wrong, you know, there are people that come from money who aren't douches to those who don't," Serena said, she knows she isn't the only person who looks down on those less fortunate than her but getting her boyfriend to believe that is a mission. She usually doesn't let the conversation get this far, she cuts him off or lets him rant and then changes the topic to homework or the next big exam he has to help her study for.

"Maybe," Dan mumbles going back to his books and Serena fingers her necklace again. She can't remember where she got it from but she knows that she could stare at those blue diamonds forever, there was something about them that just kept her enchanted, the color was different from anything she has in her collection of jewelry and she loved it. The necklace she has the pendent on, sits low on her chest so it's usually not seen by her family and friends when she does wear it. Dan's asked her where she got it from before but she gave him some story about her grandmother buying it for one of her birthdays and he didn't ask about it again, her parents and brother never questioned the jewelry that she wore but her grandmother had a knowing look that made Serena frown although she never asked what the older woman knew about it.

Both Serena and Dan's phones start beeping at the same time and Serena raises an eyebrow at Dan as he turns to her with an equally questioning look on his face. They hadn't heard their phones beep together like that since Gossip Girl sent out her last blast the day they graduated from high school, Serena checks her phone quickly and lets out a huge sigh of relief. "It's my dad," she says and Dan chuckles from his place at his desk.

"Jenny," he said turning his phone to her and then back to him. "I wonder what they want."

"My dad just wants to talk to me, urgently," Serena says throwing her phone back into her bag, her dad could wait, she was spending quality time with her boyfriend no matter how awkward it got in the last five minutes. "I'll see him at home later."

"I think you may want to go and talk to him now," Dan said and Serena got up to see what he just pulled up on his laptop. "Jenny told me to check Gossip Girl and guess what, you're on it."

"Really?" Serena asked. "I wonder why we didn't get the blasts straight to our phones."

"I think that's the least of our worries," Dan said turning his laptop to her and Serena looked at the blast.

"_Hey bitches, I'm back and just in time it seems for … wedding bells! Yes you read right, our golden girl S is getting ready to tie the knot and rumor has it California perfect Nathaniel Archibald is her husband to be, we didn't even know they knew each other.  
I wonder what Lonely Boy has to say about this, last I heard he and S were still shacking up  
If you don't trust me I'd suggest looking at tomorrow's paper for confirmation from Papa van der Woodsen, my source tells me it's going to be on the front page. This is one love triangle I would love to see play out, watch this space  
You know you love me xoxo Gossip Girl"_

"Is this why you brought up marriage?" Dan asked Serena who was staring open-mouthed at the screen.

"I had no idea," she whispered.

* * *

**A/N : hey guys I'm back with a completely AU story, you'll figure it out as you go along but I dont want to spoil even the little things so I'm going to let you read and review and guess and enjoy please**

**I know I said that I was going to counter everythign thats in this show this season but I think that the DS wedding is fake and NS are having really sweet scenes so far so I'm just holding onto alot of hope, if something i find the insperation I think i'm going to do a 1-shot series about the moments missed on the show but they've actually been making use of Nate with regards to Serena so there isnt actually that much for me to write if I do**

**After the finale I will be doing a full length story hopefully lol whichever way it goes I will definately want to wrote on it :D**

**So I hope you guys are enjoying how much Nate and Serena are sticking up for each other this season and how absolutely perfect they are together and I hope you guys enjoyed chapter one of this ridiculous idea of mine that I think is alot of fun. I was reading Glee fanfics and at one point there were like five story's with the same idea so I thought why not do it with NS since it was never done before, of course its going to be completely different from Glee it's just the general idea that I liked :D**

**I'll release chapter 2 as soon as I can but I'm going to write pretty far ahead before I post again I dont want to hit writers block or lose sight of the point of this story so please review and let me know what you think about this and about the final season of GG, I never thought I'd get so enotional about a series but I am going to cry like a baby when it ends lol**

**I do not own Gossip Girl and I found the cover pic randomly through Google on tumblr so if its yours and you have a problem with me using it please let me know**

**Until next time (^^,)**


	2. Chapter 2

"What is this," Serena asks as soon as she enters her family's apartment, she waves her phone in the air toward her parents. "Who is this guy?"

"Serena darling," her mother began but Serena cut her off.

"No, stop," she exclaimed. "I don't want your darlings and sweethearts, I want to know why Gossip Girl is reporting that I'm getting married to … I don't know who this is."

"Nate Archibald," her father said and Serena stopped because that name sounded so familiar, it was the second time that day she'd heard it but she doesn't know why. "He's the grandson of an old family friend."

"Ok great that doesn't explain why I'm _marrying_ him!" Serena said throwing her arms up.

"We're in trouble sweetheart," her father said and Serena thought she was going to scream.

"Don't call me that," she said and then sat down. "What does this have to do with your troubles dad?"

"Well Serena," her father began. "William and I have struck a deal."

"William?" Serena asked throwing her arms out, she's doesn't know a William that her father could make a deal with.

"The family friend," Lily clarified and Serena groaned.

"His grandson Nate is starting a new magazine in New York and it would cause more hype if he was actually with someone like you that everyone knew and loved," Keith explained with a nervous smile and Serena raised an eyebrow.

"Really dad, this guy can't find a girl of his own in New York of all places, so you're handing me over?" Serena asked and Keith sighed. "All he has to do is look at page six and point to a well-known girl willing to date him."

"Serena, our family is very prestigious, William doesn't just want his grandson to be seen with just anyone so you are the perfect choice," he said looking proud of himself and Serena just gawked at him.

"What about me? I have a boyfriend dad," Serena screamed. "I don't want to get married to someone else."

"I'm doing this for you," Keith screamed back and Serena immediately shrunk down in her seat, her father rarely ever screamed at her and when he did, you know that it's serious. "The company is failing to do as well as it should be and I've realized the problem too late to fix it by myself so I asked for help from your grandmother."

Serena looked down and stayed silent, her father hated asking anything from her grandmother so if he was going to her then there wasn't anything else he could do.

"She's agreed to help on the condition that you help the van der Bilt's," Keith said and Serena immediately understood why her grandmother asked this. Cece wanted nothing more than for her son-in-law to fail so she could step in at the absolute last minute and gloat that she's the only reason that company can survive and she gave him hope through Serena, knowing full well that her grand-daughter will never do this. "You only have to stay married to him for a year."

"Why? Are people going to get bored of his magazine that quickly that he'll need another scandal to pick up sales again?" Serena asked quietly.

"No, all he needs is gateway into New York's most influential to get started and after that you can go your separate ways and never have to talk again, it's a win-win situation," Keith said and Serena nodded.

"Why should I help you?" Serena asked knowing that she was already considering helping her parents because she didn't want her grandmother to win this time. "You forgot Erik and I existed until I was sixteen, that's a whole lot of life to make up for and now you're asking me to get married?"

She knew what she said was a low blow, her parents were absent for most of her life, leaving her and her brother to the care of nannies, their grandparents rarely stepped in, too busy with their own lives to take care of their pre-teen grandchildren, until the year she turned sixteen. Serena doesn't know why but they decided to try parenting again, it took them a really long time to work through their problems and she doesn't want to sound like she holds a grudge but there are times when she'd think about the times when she just needed her mom or her dad and she hates them for abandoning her.

"We know what we did was wrong and we apologized for that before," her father said very calmly. "But that isn't what this argument is about, is it?" her father asked and Serena just stared at him, she didn't want to get married to this Nate guy.

"Serena I know you're … you're in love with this Brooklyn boy," Lily said and Serena rolled her eyes she didn't want to get into it with her mother again. "But this will help everyone involved and I'm sure if you explain this to Dan he'll understand, if your love is as strong as you say I'm sure one year will be nothing."

"Mom this isn't just a small break that you take to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life," Serena said. "If I agree to this, then I'm going to be married."

"I know Serena but you're not doing this to play with Daniels heart," Lily said touching Serena's hand. "You're trying to help your parents."

"I'll think about it," Serena said angrily and got up to leave. When she spoke to Dan earlier about a break this was not what she had in mind at all.

"Don't take too long honey, they want to announce the engagement at the gala tomorrow," her mother called as she entered Erik's room and slammed the door.

"What…" Erik started to ask but Serena held up a finger to silence him.

"You know exactly what I'm pissed off about," Serena said and Erik laughed.

"Oh yeah, your engagement," he said smiling and Serena growled. "I think it's a good idea."

"You what?" Serena asked and Erik looked at her over his book.

"Serena you've been complaining to me for the past three weeks about how you want to move in with Dan and show everyone that you're serious about him," Erik said and Serena raised an eyebrow. "And he doesn't want that."

"How exactly does me getting married to another person show that I'm serious about Dan?" Serena asked throwing up her arms, she was not following her brothers train of thought at all.

"Well it may not be apparent to anyone else but it will show Dan that you're ready to settle down and it will give him a taste of what it feels like to lose you," Erik said shrugging and smiling at his sister.

"It's not that he doesn't want to be serious he just wants to do this after we graduate and start working or something, I don't know," Serena said shaking her head and sitting down on the bed next to Erik. "It doesn't matter now because I'm getting married."

"Mom said the contract will only last a year," Erik said holding his arm out and Serena moved so she could rest her head on her little brother's shoulder. "Just talk to Dan maybe you can convince him to wait for you."

"I hate that they want me to do this," Serena said rubbing her face with her hands. "I want to save them from grandma but I don't want to do this to Dan."

"Talk to him," Erik said again. "Dan's a lot of things but he's not cruel, he'll understand why you're doing this."

"Maybe," Serena said sighing. "Urg this is the last thing, mom and dad are digging themselves out of their next mess."

"It could be good for you," Erik said and Serena looked up at him skeptically. "I just mean that you're not happy anymore S, you and Dan want different things, maybe this guy could show you what you're missing?"

"Or maybe he'll show me that Dan's right and all guys that come from old money are evil," Serena said and Erik laughed.

"I think you need this break Serena," Erik said nudging her and Serena frowned.

"Why do you say that?" Serena asked defeated.

"Look at how fast you agreed to marry someone else," Erik said, Serena looked like she was going to argue but Erik stopped her. "I know you say Dan's the guy for you but you can't say that and actually think about marrying someone else, I know it's to help mom and dad and keep grandma from being her super evil self to dad but I know you and you wouldn't have agreed to this if everything was going the way you wanted it to."

"You're wrong," Serena said even though she knew her brother had a point. "I guess I should talk to Dan anyway."

"You should," Erik said watching her leave. "Bye S."

* * *

"So they want you to marry him so they can get out of debt," Dan asked incredulously and Serena nodded.

"Yeah, that's grandma's conditions for helping them," Serena said and Dan laughed making her frown, how was this at all funny?

"Oh wow, that's good," Dan said wiping the corners of his eyes.

"Did you not hear a word I said?" Serena asked as Dan continued to laugh.

"Of course I did," he said taking her face in his hands and kissing her gently. "Next they'll ask you to have a baby so they can buy a new island."

"They don't have an old island," Serena mumbled with a frown. "How can you joke about something like this?"

"Because it's not like you're really going to do it," Dan said raising an eyebrow, his laughter dying down. "Right?"

"No of course not because helping my parents will be ridiculous," Serena said sarcastically. "Just like everything else I do for my family."

"Serena this is ridiculous," Dan said, chuckling. "It's like you're entering an arranged marriage, those are no longer legal for a reason."

"You don't get how much this will mean to my parents," Serena said. "It's just one year, it's not like I'm forever bound to this guy."

"Serena you're marrying a man that isn't me," Dan said finally letting the fact that she's serious sink in. "I hope you can see how this is a problem for me."

"I know that but it's not like we're breaking up, we're just taking a little break," Serena said knowing that she was not doing a good job of convincing him that this wasn't the end for them.

"A break? No Serena this isn't a break," he said laughing humorlessly and shaking his head. "This is us breaking up."

"Dan I want to be with you but I need to do this for my family," Serena said. "This marriage is going to be a sham, I'm not going to fall in love with this guy, I'm just going to live in the same house with him for a year, my heart belongs to you."

"You say that but you're going to be living with another man who isn't your brother or father," Dan said. "I'm sorry if I don't see the happy ending for us there."

"We could still be together, just not publically," Serena said. "No-one is going to watch me in the house we're moving into and I'm sure he doesn't expect me to have any contact with him other than when the cameras are around so we can still spend time together."

"That isn't the point Serena," Dan said, scratching his head. "I-I-I don't know what to say anymore, I really don't."

"I'm asking you to wait for me," Serena said and Dan shook his head.

"Run away with me," he said and she smiled and stared at him like he lost his mind. "I'm serious, we can elope, if you're married already your parents can't force you into this and this guy can find his own way into the Upper East Side's markets."

"Dan a few hours ago you were against us moving in together, you flinched when I mentioned marriage and now you want us to elope?" Serena asked.

"Yes, if it means that I don't lose you," he said taking her hands in his. "If it means that I can keep you from doing something your parents are forcing you to do."

"Dan, this was my choice," Serena said, smiling sadly. "They aren't forcing me to do this, my parents gave me an option, a way to save them and I took it."

"You want to marry this guy?" Dan asked and Serena shook her head no. "Then let's do it, we can go to Vegas and dress up like in those movies."

Serena laughed and shook her head. "I've agreed to this Dan, as much as I would love to take part in my very own Vegas wedding with you, I can't let them down," Serena said biting her lip. "Not again."

"Did they bring that up?" Dan growled and Serena shook her head furiously.

"No, no they haven't spoken about it in three years, not even when I brought up the fact that they abandoned Erik and I," Serena said, she had done something she was not proud off a year into her and Dan's relationship. It broke them up for about a month but they eventually got back together, Dan forgave her easily but her parents were livid, they eventually managed to talk through it and let it go and Serena is grateful that they've never asked her to do anything and made her feel guilty using that incident. "They wouldn't guilt-trip me into doing this."

"So this really is all you?" Dan asked and Serena nodded. "Then we're over."

"Dan no, don't do this," Serena said, she can't believe he just ended it, why couldn't he see her point? "This doesn't have to change anything."

"This changes everything," he said turning away from her. "If you change your mind I'll be right here, otherwise have a nice life with Mr. Archibald."

Serena clenched her jaw and got up. "The official engagement announcement is tomorrow night and the wedding is going to follow soon after, if you want to be with me then come to me," Serena said leaning down to kiss Dan's cheek. "If I don't see you before I'm married then … then we really are over."

* * *

**A/N : Hey guys here's chapter 2! I hope everything is clearing up and you're understanding what's going on so far hehe**

**Nate will appear in the next chapter so yey for Natie**

**I have bad news guys, Michael Ausiello from TVLine has said that we should give up hope on Serenate, so everyone seems to have done just that which is quite sad, I read that after I posted the first chapter so I know i'm delayed with the news but I thought I should share it and say that I'm really disappointed**

**Anyway I haven't watched this weeks episode yet but I will really soon**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review, Until next time (^^,)**


	3. Chapter 3

Serena brushed mascara onto her eyelashes and stepped back to look at herself in the mirror, today was the first time she would meet her '_fiancé'_. He was going to come to her parents apartment and they would go to the gala together, Serena wasn't actually sure what this gala was about, when anyone spoke about it all they could speak about was William van der Bilt and his return to New York. No-one mentioned his grandson and Serena was nervous, she didn't know anything about this man, if she hadn't dated Dan for so long she wouldn't have really thought much about meeting him but her boyfriend or _ex-_boyfriend put it in her head that Nate was from old money therefore he would be unapproachable, rude and arrogant, it's not the best assumption to have about the other person when entering a relationship no matter how fake it is. She realized that for her to feel ok with letting Dan go she'd have to hate Nate Archibald, she hoped Dan was right and that he was the world's greatest prick.

"Hey S," Erik said knocking on her door before walking in. "Are you ready?"

"Is he here?" she asked, she was getting nervous, she had no idea what to expect from this guy, she wants him to be easy to hate so it would make her feel better, she feels it's only fair to Dan that she hates Nate and the life she's stuck with for the next year.

"No, they're on their way," Erik said almost laughing at how nervous his sister was.

"Dan's not happy," Serena said and Erik nodded, the night before when she got back from Dan's dorm she went straight to her room and refused to come out until a few hours ago when her mother reminded her about tonight's big announcement. She had to keep reminding herself that her parents needed her to do this and that's why she can't just go straight to Dan and take him up on his eloping idea. "He broke up with me."

"I'm so sorry S," Erik said walking toward her to hug her. "He'll come around, you're a hard girl to live without."

"I hope so," Serena said trying not to cry like she had the day before. "I'm going to ruin my make-up."

Erik laughed as he let her go, "You look really pretty S, come on your _fiancé _should be here any minute," he said leaving the room, Serena smiled as she left the room, her little brother never failed to put her in a good mood.

"Serena darling, are you ready?" Lily asked when she and Erik made it to the lounge where her parents were sitting and talking.

"As I'll ever be," Serena said smiling slightly as she sat down carefully to avoid wrinkling her dress. She wondered if Dan would come to the gala, he was technically still invited, she hoped he did, she hoped he knew her well enough to see how much of acting would go into this and she knew she was reaching really far for this but she really hoped he tried to understand her reasons for agreeing to this.

"Oh they're here," her mother exclaimed getting up when the doorbell rang. Her father looked like he stopped mid-sentence which was when Serena realized they had been talking while she was thinking about Dan and she internally cringed, she hoped that she didn't need to know any of the things they said.

"Lily, lovely too see you again," she heard a voice say so she stood up and waited for the face to reveal themselves. The first to walk into the lounge was an old man who Serena assumed was William van der Bilt, he looked so familiar, Serena assumed that she'd met him at one of the many garden parties her grandmother dragged her too as a child or maybe she just saw his picture too many times in the paper recently.

"… and this is my daughter Serena," her mother said snapping Serena out of her thoughts. "Darling this is William van der Bilt."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," the old man said with a smile and Serena felt the sudden need to bow or curtsy, he just looked like one of those people that would expect you to treat them like a king. _Great_ Serena thought _his grandsons going to be a pompous ass._

"Serena this is Nathaniel Archibald," Lily said pushing a young man forward to her, it was only then that Serena realized she was expecting him to be unattractive and reserved because he couldn't get his own date, she didn't expect him to look this good. He was built, he looked like a guy you would find shirtless in a magazine and she hadn't even seen his body yet, his hair was dark blond, he had tan skin probably from that California sun and his eyes- Serena stopped breathing when she saw his eyes, they were the kind of blue that she could get lost in, she could have stood there and stared at his eyes forever but he took her hand in his to shake and she was pulled from his eyes to his hand holding hers, it was warm and strong, she was getting butterfly's just from him touching her hand.

"Ok so now that we have the introductions done," Keith said motioning for the door. "I think it's time we leave, we'll explain what we need from you kids in the limo."

"Before we go, Nathaniel the ring," William said.

"Oh right," Nate said digging in his pockets for the ring. "We're supposed to have been engaged for a while and keeping it out of the media."

Serena bit her lip nervously and held out her left hand for him to slip the ring on, it was like she had a huge, gorgeous rock on her finger, she was never one for flashy jewelry but the weight of the diamond felt so reassuring on her finger that she didn't mind keeping it there. Nate smiled after he set the ring on her finger and Serena smiled back before cursing herself, she was supposed to hate this man but his smile was so infectious that she couldn't help but smile back.

Serena took a deep breath in and didn't let go of it until she reached the door, she saw Erik looking at her quizzically and she shrugged but she knew he was going to grill her later about her reaction to Nate. It was just his eyes, they were so familiar, so blue they reminded her of her necklace, Serena gasped and everyone turned to look at her. "I thought I forgot my … phone," she said and then reached into her purse and pulled it out to show them that she didn't. "Got it."

She cannot for the life of her remember where she got that necklace from, she does know that it was during one of her vacations to the Hamptons and that it was somehow connected to Nate Archibald, this couldn't be a co-incidence, his eyes were the exact color of the diamond's, she was certain, she could get lost in that deep blue. She was screwed.

* * *

The ride to the gala was filled with explanations and answers they were supposed to give the press and little things they were supposed to do to make this engagement seem real, Serena just nodded and tried to take everything in. They met in the Hamptons since they were both caught vacationing there often, Nate's best friends would confirm any story they feed the press if they get skeptical about this surprise engagement between two people who until now had no previous contact.

They were engaged for a few months, the official story being that he proposed that summer when they were both at the Hamptons, Serena remembered she spent most of her time texting Dan than out on the beach like she usually did. The engagement is only being made public now because the lovebirds needed some privacy before letting the public in on their wedding plans. Nate was moving to New York to be with her, he's staying with his friends until they are married and then they will both move into the townhouse his grandfather bought. Serena was impressed by the amount of planning going into this to make it seem as legit as possible.

Other basic things Serena had to know was that Nate was raised by his grandfather, which she frowned at, _where were his parents_? He loved surfing, soccer and other sports, _typical jock_ Serena thought with a smirk, complete opposite from Dan. He liked to cook, which was more than she could say for herself, she burnt water, so she avoided the kitchen as much as possible.

All Serena knew was that she had to remind herself about Dan whenever she looked into Nate's eyes because she got lost in the _blueblueblueblue_ and _THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!_ She mentally screamed at herself.

She almost didn't realize that the car stopped until Erik nudged her in the ribs, hard, to snap out of whatever daydream she was currently in. Serena scowled at him and watched as everyone left the limo. Serena took a breath and reminded herself that she was going to act, this entire thing _will_ be an act. She's only doing this for her parents and she has to be cold to Nate when she doesn't have to pretend to be in love with him because she can't be unfaithful to Dan, she knows they are broken up but she believes that they will be together as soon as her sham is over.

Everyone else is out of the limo when Nate slides out and holds his hand to her to help her out. Serena frowns slightly as she takes his hand and ignores the butterfly's in her tummy, if he keeps being this sweet she'll never be able to make herself hate him. Nate keeps her hand tightly in his and an easy smile on his face as their pictures are taken and leads her into the hall, they are keeping her ring hidden for now, William wants to do the official announcement before everyone sees it and Serena gets the feeling that he likes to control everything.

She can see people react to her and Nate as they walk in, they've never been to the same parties before and lived so far away from each other that no-one has ever thought they'd have any connections to each other and now there were reports that they were engaged. The paper was very vague in her connection to Nate, her father gave them very little information, promising that everything would be revealed at the gala. Serena started to feel nervous as people approached them but Nate's grip on her hand tightened and she just had to concentrate on that to calm her nerves.

They got through their first few conversations pretty easily, Serena barely had to say anything, Nate answered everything he could and she only had to say something when the question was directed to her. They avoided most of the questions regarding their engagement, Nate seemed to be a master at avoiding unwanted questions. Serena felt like all she really wanted to do was go back to Dan's dorm room and lay on his bed while he worked and they could be in comfortable silence, it would feel a lot better than this gala where everyone seemed to have their condescending eyes on her and Nate.

Serena refused to talk to Nate, she knew they were supposed to be acting like a couple but she couldn't bring herself to say anything to him, she didn't want to get married to him and she didn't want to get to know more about him, she just wanted this marriage to be over so she could go back to her life before him and she could go back to Dan and school and her old life.

Nate suddenly let go of her hand and her entire body went cold, Serena shivered as she looked to him to see what the problem was when she saw him hug a petite brunette. Serena felt a sting and she quickly shook it off, she knew that feeling, she had it before when some girl was hitting on Dan during their month apart, it was jealousy but she wasn't supposed to be jealous right now, it's just that Nate's eyes suddenly felt like they were hers just like that necklace was. It didn't help that the girl took a step back and looked at Serena from her head to her toes, judging her with an eyebrow raised and a scowl on her face.

Serena crossed her arms over her chest and looked straight back at her, two could play at that game, "Now, now girls," came a deep voice from behind the brunette and Serena looked up to be met with dark eyes. "I'm sure this can wait until we can get a proper mud ring."

"Serena this is Chuck Bass," Nate said with a chuckle and Serena shook his hand wearily. So this was the Chuck Bass people where talking about, she wondered if it was co-incidence that he had moved into her building. Nate gently turned her to the girl that was still eyeing her. "And this is Blair Waldorf."

"Soon to be Bass," she said wiggling her fingers in Nate's face, who laughed and nodded. "Why do you never remember to say that Archibald?"

"Because no-one ever says that except _maybe _the engaged couple," Nate said pointedly and Blair frowned. "Anyway these are my best friend's, we'll be spending a lot of time with them."

Serena nodded and internally cringed, Blair didn't look very impressed with her but Chuck didn't look too bad, he seemed to just glance over the fact that she was marrying his best friend for publicity. She hoped that he could get his fiancé to warm up to her, she wondered if maybe the tiny brunette is also upset that Serena is stealing her spotlight seeing as this engagement will be a huge surprise and everyone's attention will be turned away from her even if it is for a little while.

"Don't you speak?" Blair asked arching one perfectly waxed eyebrow at her and Chuck rubbed her arms from behind and Blair visibly relaxed.

"I do," Serena said with a faux friendly smile. "I just don't have anything to say."

"Well that's unfortunate," Blair said rolling her eyes and Nate sighed beside her.

"Blair," he said sounding tired. "Maybe we can save _this_ conversation for another day?"

"I barely said anything," Blair complained and then sighed dramatically. "Fine, I'll be nice."

Serena frowned and took another sip of her drink before thinking that she may need something stronger if she was going to deal with Blair. "As lovely as it was to meet you," Serena said placing her glass on the table and smiling at them. "Excuse me."

"You scared Nathaniel's date away," Serena heard Chucks suave voice say as she walked quickly away from her supposed lover and his friends to the bar.

Erik stepped in her way before she reached the counter. "I know you're supposed to stay close to Nate," he said softly into her ear. "But you'll never guess who just showed up."

"Dan?" Serena immediately guessed, her eyes sparkled and a genuine smile found its way onto her face as she looked around for her boyfriend and then frowned when she didn't see the mop of curly hair she'd grown to accept.

"No, no, not exactly," Erik said hesitantly and Serena looked up at him quizzically. "See, he may have given his invite to someone else but I should warn you it's not Jenny."

"Who else?" Serena asked, confused, there were only so many people Dan would give that invite to and Jenny was the only name that came to mind right now.

"Well, urm," he said motioning with his hands for her to turn around. "It's Vanessa."

Serena groaned and threw her head back as she saw Vanessa walking toward her, she really, really needed that drink right now but she didn't want it to get back to Dan that she's fallen of the wagon, especially when there's a chance that they could still be together. "I don't need this right now," Serena muttered and Erik touched her shoulder as if to say good luck before he walked away.

Serena took a deep steadying breath as Vanessa took her final steps to reach Serena, she wasn't smiling and her eyes were hard and Serena knew this was it, their cover was going to be blown and by the end of the night, _everyone_ will know how fake this was.

* * *

**A/N : Let me start by saying that I should have listened to anabelle12 and not watched the 6th episode because I want to cry at the amount of DS in it, we had that little NS scene but it wasnt enough, the only thing I enjoyed about this episode was Chuck and Nates perfection, I love them, I'll watch episode 7 soon and hopefully I'll be on track to watch the final episodes with everyone else**

**So I know this is a late update, but I wanted to be at least 2 chapters ahead of my posts, I have barely begun chapter 5 but I couldnt make you guys wait too much longer. The past few weeks have been crazy after exams I was planning my party and I havent had alot of time to write so whoops lol but everythings over now and I am at home, catching up on my series and writing so yey lol**

**Hope you guys liked this chapter, I spent forever trying to perfect the NS meeting, I think I did well, please review and let me know what you think :D**

**Thank you soooooooo much for all your reviews, I am loving the response that this story is getting. I know it's totally AU and theres alot of times where I dont like reading AU so I understand if its a little wierd but I'm trying to stay as true to the characters as I can even though they are in different situations so again I thank you for the amazing response**

**Until next time (^^,)**


	4. Chapter 4

"Vanessa, hey," Serena said trying to keep a smile on her face for the other girl. She and Vanessa could never get along because Vanessa had previously dated Dan but they were still friends and she didn't approve of the blond that had everything and never had to work for anything, whereas Serena always thought that the other girl still had feelings for Dan. They tolerated each other for Dan's sake but they weren't friends and they never would be.

"Serena," Vanessa said shortly reaching out and grabbing a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. "So this is how the other side lives."

"What are you doing here?" Serena asked tightly, watching Vanessa take a sip of her drink and look at the glass impressed.

"I came to see if you were really going through with it," Vanessa said looking at Serena. "Looks like you are."

"I am," Serena said through clenched teeth. "Tell Dan that sending you here will not stop me."

"You're lucky I came and not Jenny," Vanessa said and Serena cringed, she had gotten really close to Dan's little sister in the past few years and she hated letting her down but even she had to understand her reasons for doing this. "She's disappointed."

"I know," Serena said, she hadn't spoken to Jenny about this but she thought that the younger girl would be disappointed in her just like Dan was. "It's only for a year and then everything will go back to normal."

"Are you trying to convince me or you?" Vanessa asked and Serena just shook her head because Vanessa was right she was trying to convince herself that this would all work out perfectly. "Nothing is going to go back to normal Serena, everything is going to change, Dan will never forgive you for this."

"He's forgiven worse," Serena said feebly, he forgave her for cheating when they first started dating, she landed in the hospital but she would like to think that even if she wasn't attached to all those machines that Dan would have forgiven her, she'd like to believe that this was easier to forgive.

"It's not fair to make him wait for you for a year Serena," Vanessa said lowering her voice and taking a step closer and Serena flinched. "He doesn't deserve to be treated like a doormat that you can just walk all over."

"Dan's not a doormat and I have no choice," Serena said taking a deep breath. "It's either I do this or my family loses everything."

"Oh please, save the dramatics," Vanessa said with a disgusted look on her face. "You come from money, you get yourself into trouble and if daddy can't bail you out, grandma will, it's that easy."

"Nothing about this is easy," Serena said, she could feel tears prickling her eyes, she glanced back at Nate to see him talking to Chuck and Blair. "I have my reasons for doing this, reasons that you may not understand but I have no choice."

"You have a lot of choices but you're choosing to marry pretty boy over there because you're shallow," Vanessa said, glancing over Serena's head at Nate before looking back Serena. "Just because he has money doesn't mean he can make you happy."

"His name is Nate and I am not marrying him for his money," Serena said pressing her fingers to her temples. "I'm helping him and he's helping me and the only way to help each other is to create as much publicity as possible, ergo a wedding."

"That makes no sense to me," Vanessa said finishing her champagne and putting her empty glass on a passing tray. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't tell every reporter in here that this is a huge sham and not some perfect romance."

"Because if you do I will destroy you, I'd advise you not to take my threat lightly but I haven't done a take-down in such a long time, I miss the action," Blair said from beside Serena making her jump at the thought that someone had heard what Vanessa and then she relaxed when she realized it was only Blair.

"Oh look, engaged for a day and you've already made bitchy friends," Vanessa said and Blair smiled.

"Nate's my best friend, and if you hurt Serena and this engagement you are hurting him and I will not allow that," Blair said with a sickly sweet voice, stepping closer to Serena.

"What makes you think you can stop me," Vanessa asked raising an eyebrow at Blair, she's never been scared of anyone or stepped down from any situation that she felt strongly about and revealing Serena's fake marriage is something Vanessa felt very strongly about.

"Let's see, knock off dress, last decades hair and just between you and me," Blair said putting her head a little closer to Vanessa's as if she were going to whisper. "Have your eyebrows ever seen tweezers?"

Vanessa's fingers immediately went to her face to smooth her eyebrows down and she frowned. "Insulting me isn't going to help you," Vanessa said scowling.

"No but I know you aren't from the Upper East Side, which makes you easier to 'get rid' off so to speak," Blair said and Serena bit her lip, this was exactly the kind of reactions Dan and Vanessa expected from the Upper East Side's residents. "You look like a hippie so I'm assuming you're in some sort of artsy school, they are easy enough to manipulate, how much do you value your place there?"

"You wouldn't," Vanessa said, her eyes widening and Serena fought the urge to smirk, Vanessa was studying art at a specialized school close to NYU, she worked really hard to get there and she'd never do anything to jeopardize that even if it meant letting go of an opportunity to bring Serena down.

"Try me," Blair said. "If there is even speculation that this engagement and marriage isn't all that it looks like I will track you down and I will destroy you."

Vanessa just stared at them as Blair took Serena's hand and led her away, "Thank you," Serena said after a while, because she didn't know what else to say, she always felt bad hurting people or even just threatening to hurt them.

"I didn't do this for you," Blair said haughtily as they reached the boys and Serena nodded, Blair seemed protective over Chuck and Nate, she was a lot like Vanessa in the sense that she'd do anything to keep them from being hurt. "You have power, you should really learn how to use it."

"Hey, my grandfather is going to make the announcement now, we should go closer to the front," Nate said to Serena and then held out his arm to her expectantly.

Serena took a breath before taking Nate's arm. Nate looked back at his friends and Chuck shook his head, "We'll stay here," Chuck said and Nate nodded.

Nate led her through the crowd so that they were close to his grandfather who was thanking everyone for coming tonight and speaking about his life in California for the past few years. Serena was thinking about what Vanessa had said earlier when Nate intertwined their fingers and she gasped and looked up at him. She had been avoiding his eyes but as soon as she looked into them she was lost, she wondered how long it would take until the blue stopped having such a big effect on her.

"Camera's," he whispered as a way of explanation before looking back at his grandfather who was now speaking about Nate's new project, 'The Spectator'. "I'm going to have to kiss you a little later, don't be shocked, just go with it."

Serena nodded and her mouth went dry, she didn't want to _want_ to kiss Nate but she also really did, she found herself attracted to this stranger and she hated herself for it because she gave Dan, _her boyfriend_, till she was married to come to her, so until she walked down that isle she would not give up hope, she would _not_ fall for Nate and she will not be unfaithful again.

"I know all of you have been wanting to know about my grandson Nathaniel Archibald and New York's darling Serena van der Woodsen's relationship," William said and Serena's ears immediately perked up at the mention of her name. "I am very pleased to announce that they are engaged to be married next month, I know it seems fast but they've been engaged for a while and we wanted to keep this a surprise until Nathaniel and I moved back to New York."

Serena smiled as the camera's turned to her and Nate who held their intertwined hands up to show everyone her engagement ring, he leaned down and kissed her forehead and Serena blushed at the contact, her skin burned where his lips where and she wondered why it didn't feel like this when Dan kissed her anymore. She wondered if maybe they needed this 'break' as she was calling it, to get that spark back, maybe losing her like this will force him to treat her like he did when they were first together and not take her for granted.

She, thankfully, didn't need to answer any more questions as William van der Bilt took over, Serena caught Vanessa's eye at the back of the room and immediately let go of Nate's hand, he looked at her questionably and just put his hand on her back because it wouldn't look right if he wasn't touching her somehow.

Serena swallowed hard as she thought about how Dan would react when he saw the pictures the next day, she had a smile on her face, she thought she looked happy, she just hoped he knew her well enough to know how fake that was. Nate laughed beside her and she clapped with the rest of the crowd as William van der Bilt delivered his last line and walked away from the podium.

"Are you ok?" Nate asked her quietly, when the attention was turned to the next speaker and Serena turned to him and nodded slowly. Dan barely noticed the change in her moods anymore, she had to have tears in her eyes for him to acknowledge that she was sad but Nate didn't even know her for a day and he already picked up on her tense mood. "I'm sorry, you're just really tense."

Serena automatically relaxed her posture and smiled a little easier, "It's just a lot to get used to in one day."

"I know," he said adding pressure to her back to let her know that she had to move. "It will all be over before you know it."

He was right, there was another hour of standing around and smiling and talking to whomever wanted to talk to them which went by quickly and the next thing Serena knew was that Nate was announcing to his grandfather that they were leaving and he was leading her out with his arm wrapped loosely around her shoulders holding one of her hands. Serena smiled wide as she passed a group of on-lookers, her acting had been on auto pilot for most of the night and she just hoped it was enough to convince the tough New York society.

Safe in the cab, Serena let her smile fade and her hand fall from Nate's and into her lap, they were half way to her building when Nate spoke, "Was everything alright tonight?" he asked and Serena frowned, of course nothing was right, she was getting married in a month and she was disappointing everyone she cared about just to please and help a family that expected too much and didn't care that much for her.

"Of course it was," Serena replied looking out the window, Nate seemed nice enough for her to pretend like she wasn't desperately missing her boyfriend or trying not to look into his blue eyes because when she did she couldn't remember even having a boyfriend.

"I apologize on behalf of Blair," Nate said with a small chuckle. "It's just that she can be a little judgmental sometimes, she doesn't warm up to people as easily as Chuck or I do."

"She just seems protective of you," Serena said smiling slightly. "It's nice to have friends like that, I guess she was just trying to make sure I wasn't some sort of crazy person."

Serena doesn't know why she felt the need to defend Blair, maybe it was because the tiny brunette saved her from dealing with Vanessa, whatever the reason it was worth it to see the relieved look on Nate's face for her understanding. "With my track record with girls I'm not surprised, I just hoped it didn't scare you too much."

Serena smiled and found herself wondering who came before her, she wondered if Nate was leaving anyone behind to marry her, then squashed that thought. Nate would have married the person he was with for publicity and his grandfather would have made it huge, she wondered why he made that deal with her grandmother to marry her. It was a thought that had been bothering her since her father broached the idea to her, there were so many other willing girls but she was the one they chose, more than that she was now curious about her grandmother's hand in this situation.

"Who was that girl you were talking to?" Nate asked and Serena jumped having momentarily forgotten that she wasn't alone in the car. "I know we sent Blair to apologize to you but when I looked at you again you seemed distressed, who was she?"

Serena didn't know what to say to him, this man was only with her for a day but he was picking up on her moods like she was an open book and she knew she wasn't, Dan always complained that she kept her emotions too well hidden. "Vanessa, she's from my … past," Serena said with a far-away voice. "She's not happy with my choices."

"You don't have to give up your old life just because you agreed to this," Nate told her softly and she turned to him, Vanessa wasn't angry at her because she thought Serena wasn't going to hang out with them anymore, it was the fact that she was _marrying _someone else. "I'm not going to stop you from doing what you've always done, I'm just asking that you be my wife in public."

"I know and thank you," Serena said, she didn't know how else to reply, she's never spoken to anyone who's ever experienced this, she's on completely new ground.

"You don't like Vanessa?" Nate asked going from future husband to new friend in a second and Serena shrugged, Vanessa has been a constant part of her everyday life for the past four years but she's never been the good part. "It's ok, you don't have to tell me."

"She's not my biggest fan," Serena says, finding herself wanting to give Nate this information. "She makes my life as difficult as she can and I tolerate her because I'd lose people close to me if I don't, I'd never want them to choose like that."

Nate nodded slowly and held his hand out to her when the car came to a stop, there weren't any camera's around, no reason for him to hold her hand and help her out or act like a gentleman but Serena was coming to find that this was exactly who Nate was, a chivalrous man, something that's hard to come by nowadays.

"Thank you for agreeing to this," Nate said referring to the arranged marriage and Serena nodded with a small smile. "It was nice talking to you alone as well, if anything maybe when all this is over we can be friends."

"I'd like that," Serena found herself saying and only after she said it did she realize how much she wanted to be friends with her soon to be husband, how many people get to say that?

"Goodnight, Serena van der Woodsen," Nate said with a smile as they reached her door, he leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek before turning and getting back into the elevator to take him to the apartment he's sharing with Chuck.

Serena goes to her room and pulls out the necklace she's had for what seems like her whole life and examines it, the color is almost if not exactly the color of Nate's perfect eyes. She knows one thing for sure, she will not be hypnotized by those eyes anymore, she can't be, she will force herself not to be. Serena touches her cheek right where his lips where earlier, the skin burned there but it was a good burn, the kind that you wish to feel every time you're kissed.

And for the second time that night Serena was secretly disappointed that his lips hadn't touched hers.

* * *

**A/N : I do not own Gossip Girl**

**Hey guys thanks so much for the incredible feedback I'm getting for this story, each and everyone of you guys are awesome for reviewing and reading and I'm so glad that you guys are enjoying it becasue this doesnt follow the show in anyway and my imagination is kinda running wild here lol **

**Please review this chapter and let me know what you think, oh i'm gonna be talking about 6x08 after this so if you havent watched it please dont spoil it for yourself lol**

**oh I wanna do a oneshot about the things that are happening in season 6 but I really have no idea what to write on the stuff I've written barely get to 100 words so its mainly little thoughts not actual pieces, does anyone have any NS idea's?**

**Until Next Time (^^,)**

****Spoiler**  
****Guys how awesome was Nate in the last ep, he punched Dan and I did a happy dance lol I just wish Sage wasnt there I mean if they needed her they could have sent her to another room or something because that moment was the NJBC's and then when she and Nate were kissing and Chuck was sitting right in front of them I was just like omg Nate seriously? I actually enjoyed this weeks ep minus the DS scenes urg what do you guys think about it? ****For the last few eps I wanted to kill the writers for messing with Chair, happy Chair = happy audience so this ep was really awesome for me with them**

**Unfortunately I think they are going to use the other Serena chapter that Dan wrote to bring DS back but I'm really really hoping that this isnt the end of NS and our beloved couple is endgame or at least finds their own happiness without Dan lol Please let me know your thoughts and I'll update soon :D**


	5. Chapter 5

Serena always had the perfect wedding in her mind, she wanted to be the one to plan it, she wanted something small and intimate with just friends and family, she wanted a simple dress and a white bouquet of flowers and she wants an arch covered in white roses and her husband dressed in a black tux waiting for her, in the past few years the man waiting for her at the end of the aisle has been Dan, she wanted heartfelt vows and a passionate kiss and she just really wanted it to be her choice, she wanted it to feel like everything was going to work out.

Instead what she got was one of New York's most sort after wedding planners, one that didn't feel the need to listen to her opinions, the wedding was going to be huge, people she hadn't seen in years were going to be there, people she only saw in passing at parties, people her grandmother and his grandfather decided they wanted around, including the press. Her dress was exquisite, the sun reflected of the diamonds every time she moved, the bottom puffed out and she felt like a princess out of a fairytale book, her flowers had purple and pink in it and it was huge, something she'd never think of having for herself, there was no arch or white roses just red petals on the floor.

The most important part of her fantasy is her soon to be husband, she's been dreaming about it being Dan for years now but he's not the guy that's waiting for her. The man that's going to be there is someone she barely knows, someone she's avoided getting to know better for the past month, someone whose eyes she just wants to get lost in every time she sees him. The worst thing about this is that she's going into this marriage knowing that it's going to _end_, she's going to end up like one of those women she frowned upon when she was younger and she hated it.

Nate's been so relaxed through this entire thing, almost as if it doesn't affect him and it's frustrated Serena to no ends because she's an emotional wreck whenever they aren't in front of the cameras. He keeps trying to form some sort of relationship with her no matter how many times she shuts him down. She feels really bad that she does it but she cannot risk having feelings for him, not until she's certain that Dan isn't going to burst through that door before she's officially married.

Serena's relationship with Nate's friends had been better since their first meeting, Chuck was a sweetheart behind his cocky exterior she's come to see and Blair was very protective and a good friend, they had come to an understanding after many uncomfortable meetings and forced shopping trips and while Serena knows that the other girl doesn't approve of Nate entering a relationship this way, much less a marriage, they've realized how much they actually had in common and Serena thinks they could become friends.

Blair was standing up next to Serena today and Chuck was standing next to Nate, her mother had wanted someone from high school to be Serena's maid of honor but she refused, the only other girl in her life that she would ever consider for that role was little Jenny Humphrey but it seemed too cruel to ask her to do that.

Serena hadn't spoken to the Humphreys or Vanessa since the announcement of her and Nate's engagement, Dan's avoided every phone call and left every text message or voice message unanswered, he's even managed to be 'out' every single time she'd gone to his dorm room. Jenny called her after Vanessa's unsuccessful attempt at getting Serena to walk away from her agreement, the younger girl begged Serena to think about what she was doing to Dan and that she deserved better and Serena had told her that she couldn't get out of this now, she managed to convince Jenny that this was all going to work out, she wasn't so sure of that herself.

She began questioning everything, the reason she was marrying a stranger, why said stranger needed her for this when his grandfather could have generated enough publicity on his own and of course she questioned how her parents could ask her to do this. One look at her parents distressed faces as they poured over the things they could have done to prevent this tells her that she's making the right choice, that if she didn't do this then her family may fall apart and she didn't want that to happen again. She had to believe that these reasons she was giving herself was worth it because she was giving up a year of her life and her boyfriend of four years, she couldn't back out now, the contracts were signed and she was in a _wedding dress._

There was a knock on the door and Serena heard it open so she took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a few seconds, her father would just have to wait for her to compose herself. Serena stood and turned but instead of her father standing at the doorway to escort her to her fake husband, Dan stood in the doorway with a tux and his hair pushed back and he had a smile on his face that almost broke Serena's heart.

"Oh my God you're here," Serena said running and launching herself at him. "You came."

"I had to," Dan said holding onto her as tightly as she held on to him. "You told me I had until you were married before you gave up on me and you haven't said 'I do' yet so I still have my chance."

"What made you change your mind?" Serena asked pulling back so she could look into his eyes, she internally cursed herself for comparing his deep brown eyes to Nate's captivating blue one's.

"I couldn't let you go," Dan said shaking his head. "I couldn't let you do this without me … and Jenny also made me realize that I was being an idiot and I should be supporting you, not pushing you away."

"Remind me to thank her," Serena said and Dan smiled before leaning in to kiss her. "No, not now, you'll mess up my make-up."

"Serena," Dan complained, letting go of her. "I haven't kissed you in over a month."

"I know, but people can't know what I've been doing before my wedding Dan," Serena reasoned and she could see Dan's disappointment. "I can see you after, we're going straight to the town house, meet me there?"

"What? Are you not good enough to be taken on a proper honey moon?" Dan asked cheekily and Serena rolled her eyes.

"No, there was just no point for a honey moon," she told him shrugging, this all made perfect sense when William van der Bilt was explaining it. "He'll start work on The Spectator immediately and _I_ will go back to my Columbia classes."

"That's my girl," Dan said and Serena gave him a fake smile, she only went to Columbia because of him, she wanted to travel the world not study for something she probably wouldn't end up doing anyway. "How's the exam prep going?"

"Really?" Serena asked because she's in a wedding dress, going to marry another man in less than half an hour and he's asking about her exams?

"I just mean, I could come help," Dan said and Serena shook her head. "You don't want me to help?"

"Of course I do," she said playfully hitting him. "I just don't want to talk about school right now."

"Right, I get it," Dan said. "So how is Mr. Archibald?"

"He's good," Serena said with an amused smile at the jealousy in Dan's voice. "You don't really want to know that do you?"

"I just want to know if he's an ass or not," Dan said.

"Would it make you happy or sad if I said he wasn't?" Serena asked, she couldn't help the defensive tone in her voice at the thought of Dan doubting Nate's goodness.

"I just don't want him to treat you badly," Dan said looking like he wasn't being completely honest with her. "But I can't deny that it would make me happy to know that you hate him."

Serena laughed and rested her head on his shoulder, she knew he'd want her to hate Nate but Dan needed to meet the guy, he was impossible to hate, Serena thinks even Vanessa will like him and she doesn't like anyone except the Humphrey family.

"I need to ask you something," Dan said after a length of silence and Serena picked her head up from where it was so comfortably placed on his shoulder to look at his face curiously.

"What do you need to ask me?" she asked quietly.

"After your contract expires and your year is over, will you leave with me?" Dan asked and Serena giddily smiled.

"Where are we going?" Serena asked raising an eyebrow and Dan smiled, happy that she was receptive of the idea.

"Where ever you want, we can just drive until you're tired of driving," he said. "I want to take you as far away from him as I can as soon as this is over."

Serena didn't know what to say, it all sounded sweet until the last line, he was taking her away because he was afraid that she'll fall in love with Nate. "Ok, one year," she said because she knew if she didn't agree she'll be admitting to both of them that her falling for Nate is a real possibility. "I'm so happy you came back."

"If you want we could leave now," Dan said ending the sentence, letting her know that it was an option, she knew he didn't want her to go through with this but she also knew that she's been arguing with herself about this decision for days and the amount of people affected by her decision is too great for her to back out now.

"I know," she said touching his cheek. "I have to do this, maybe it will be good for us."

"How could it possibly be good for us?" Dan asked and Serena cringed, it sounded reasonable when Erik said it but it definitely didn't come out right when she did.

"I'm trying to make myself feel better about this," Serena lied and then changed the subject. "Am I going to see you tonight?"

"Yeah I'll meet you at the house," he said and Serena smiled, reaching into her purse and giving him a key.

"Nate will have his own key," she said pressing it into his hand and biting her lip, Dan growled at Nate's name and Serena almost laughed. "Are you going to stay for the ceremony?"

"No," Dan said shaking his head as she tugged on the collar of his shirt. "I just needed to blend in, I don't think I could sit through that and not object to this unholy union."

Serena giggled and nodded, "I hope the 'audience' buy my act," she said sighing.

"They've been eating it up so far," Dan said grumpily. "The two of you are doing too good of a job selling this love story."

"You know it's not real," Serena said taking his face into her hands so that she could look into his eyes.

"I know it isn't but if I didn't know you, I never would have figured it out," Dan said and Serena actually thanked her younger self for not having any real friends and not getting close enough to people to let them know her until Dan. "I better go before I drag you away."

"I'll see you tonight," Serena said softly holding onto his hand until she couldn't anymore and he was out of her sight. Serena bit her lip and smiled to herself, she wasn't losing Dan, she could help her parents and keep her boyfriend and hope that the press she gets from the divorce doesn't damage her too much_, how bad could this year be?_ She asked herself.

Serena was still smiling to herself when Blair came in, "Who did you just see?" Blair asked and Serena froze until she realized Blair was just asking that because of the smile on her face.

"No-one, I was just … thinking about something funny," Serena said smiling, Blair raised an eyebrow but let it pass.

"I'm just here to check that you have everything," Blair said fiddling with Serena's bouquet of flowers.

"It's not a real wedding, I don't think you need to worry so much," Serena said and Blair frowned.

"You might not believe it's real but this is an actual wedding, it's not like you have a fake priest standing up there with you or fake marriage papers that you're going to sign, it's real," Blair snapped and Serena held her hands up in surrender, she may have over exaggerated how much her and Blair's relationship had progressed, even in her own mind. "Spin."

"Does it look like I missed anything?" Serena asks after she spins in her dress to let Blair look at her and it looks like she's mentally checking everything of.

"Something old?" she asked and Serena pointed to the tiara on her head, it had been in her family forever. "New?" Blair asked and Serena pointed to her earrings and then held her arm up revealing her mother's bracelet before Blair asked for borrowed. "Great, I assume that's borrowed, where's your something blue?"

Serena bit her lip and hesitantly tugged at the long necklace she had around her neck, pulling the pendant out to show Blair the blue diamond heart. "It's the only blue I can think of but I don't want everyone to see it."

"It's pretty," Blair murmured, looking at the pendant carefully. "It's so familiar, I swear I've seen this before."

Serena pulled the pendant away from Blair's eyes and tucked it into her dress so it could sit below the fabric of her dress again. "You must have seen it in a catalog or something," Serena said smoothing her hair back. She didn't know why but she didn't want Blair to place the pendant because if she did it may connect to Nate and she couldn't afford another connection to him especially not now that Dan is going to stay in her life.

"Maybe," Blair said eyeing her suspiciously. "We need to go now, try not to sweat through your makeup."

Serena frowned and looked at herself in the mirror, her makeup was fine. Keith van der Woodsen stepped in not too long after Blair left and smiled like the proud father Serena always dreamed he'd be. "How do I look?"

"You look beautiful sweetheart," her father said lightly pecking her cheek. "Prettier than your mom on our wedding day, don't tell her I told you that."

Serena smiled and hugged her dad, "This is going to fix everything right?" she asked and Keith nodded.

"All you have to worry about now is getting through today, let your mother and I handle the rest," he said with a smile and Serena nodded. "Let's get you married."

Serena let her father lead her as she let her mind wander to Dan sitting at her new house waiting for her, she was so excited at the idea of him waiting for her, she never expected him to come through for her in such a huge way. She felt like she could get through anything now that Dan was willing to wait for her and help her get through this year.

That was until she was almost at the alter and she looked up into Nate's blue eyes and her breath got caught in her throat, her father squeezed her hand and Serena struggled to swallow as those blue eyes held hers for the remainder of the walk. Serena's thoughts about Dan were lost and the only things she could think of now were Nate's eyes and the necklace sitting on her chest out of their sight. She kept wishing that blue didn't intrigue her so much and that it didn't give her a feeling so long forgotten but so familiar it felt like she was going to be transported to another time.

"You ready?" Nate asked quietly when he had her hands in his and Serena smiled and nodded. "Just relax, it will all be over before you know it," he said with a wink, Serena remembered him telling her that at the gala and he was right, clutching his hands tightly now she wished that he was right again.

* * *

**A/N : Hey guys, the response for this story has been so so amazing, thank you all for the support and awesome reviews!**

**So I havent watched the 9th episode but I've heard it was an absolute trainwreck for the Serenate shippers so I dont actually want to watch it but Gossip Girls's final ep ever is next week so I;m just gonna suck it up and watch the last 2 eps and cry because its not ending the way i want it to for my favorite couple :(**

**Anyway guys I hope you enjoyed this chapter, not alot of NS I know but that will come soon hehe Until Next Time (^^,)**


	6. Chapter 6

Serena smiled wide as Nate twirled her on the dance floor of their reception and pulled her close to him again, they had been taking dance lessons for the past two weeks to get their first dance perfect, the wedding planner chose 'A whole new world' from Aladdin because it would _complete their fairytale_ _wedding_. Serena almost laughed on her face when she told them the song but she saw Nate's eyes light up and she immediately became curious about the meaning behind the song to him, not that she would ever ask, she was too chicken to talk to him when they were alone.

"You're happy," he commented after yet another spin.

"People are watching," Serena said. "If I'm not happy then we just got married for nothing."

"It's different," Nate said and Serena wondered how he could read her so well. "You're finding it hard to keep that smile of your face."

Serena blushed and looked away, Nate's effect on her gets stronger with every conversation and Serena doesn't think she could handle stronger right now. "It's nothing," she managed to whisper.

"Whatever it is, I hope it continues," Nate said and Serena raised an eyebrow because she expected him to ask more questions about her good mood. "Your smile is really beautiful."

Serena smiles again involuntarily and blushes even deeper, she hasn't been called beautiful in a while and she's starting to wonder if Nate is gay because in her experience the things he's saying are too perfect for him to be straight. "Thank you," she says softly and bites her lip, when she looks around she see's other people joining them on the dance floor, moving slowly to the sweet Disney music. Her parents are dancing too and for the first time in a long time Serena sees them laughing freely and she's glad she could do this for them.

"Do you mind if we cut in?" Chucks voice comes from next to them when their song ends and another one comes on.

"Sure," Nate says and then kisses Serena's head as an afterthought before holding his hand out to Blair, Serena is immediately taken back to the kiss they shared earlier, it was just a touch of their lips but Serena swore she'd never felt sparks like that from a simple kiss. "Milady."

Blair bows playfully when she takes his hand but doesn't look too impressed at Chuck and Serena dancing together. "I don't think I'm in her good books yet," Serena says when she and Chuck start dancing.

"No-one is in her good books," he says chuckling and Serena frowns and not for the first time since she met them she wondered what it would be like to grow up with them and be part of their inner circle. "You'll get there if you play your cards right."

"Oh yeah?" she asked looking over at Nate and Blair. "And how should I play them?"

"Don't hurt Nathaniel," Chuck says simply and Serena looks at him and shakes her head.

"I can't hurt him, we both know what's going to come," Serena says knitting her eyebrows together.

"Don't be so sure princess," Chuck says before smiling and letting her go, he tips his imaginary hat and goes in search of his best friends leaving Serena confused and trying to figure out what that conversation meant.

"You look … not like you're supposed to look on your wedding day," Erik said walking toward his stationary sister.

"Erik, guess what," Serena squeals hugging her brother, Erik raises an eyebrow in question and takes her hand to finish the dance that Chuck started. "Dan came by earlier, he's going to wait for me."

"That's more like it," Erik laughed at his excited sister, "I'm happy for you S."

"He's waiting for me at the townhouse," Serena said biting her lip and Erik's eyes went comically wide for a moment as he stared at her.

"Are you serious? Like the house you share with your _husband_?" Erik asked and Serena rolled her eyes.

"It's not like its real," Serena said softly.

"Does Nate know about your surprise for him when he gets home?" Erik asked looking like he wanted to shake Serena.

"I haven't actually had a chance to tell him," Serena said sheepishly, looking over to Nate dancing with her mother. "It doesn't matter anyway, he knows I have a past and he's the one who said I shouldn't give it up, I'm just following his advice."

"Yeah but S, I'm sure he didn't mean this," Erik said in a hushed voice. "I'm pretty sure he's under the impression that you have no _romantic_ ties to your 'past'."

"What makes you think that?" Serena asked looking at her brother quizzically. Erik blushed under her gaze and Serena just got more curious because he always blushed like that when he knew something and he didn't want to tell her.

"Well," he started but was interrupted by Nate walking toward them.

"Hey, I'd like to steal my _wife_ back," he joked with Erik and Serena swore she saw a reporter 'aw' at his words. Erik gave Serena a pointed look before placing her hand back in Nate's and patting Nate's back.

Serena didn't get to talk to Erik alone again to ask him what he knew, neither did she get a chance to warn Nate about the surprise guest waiting for them when they get to the house because there was the cutting of the cake and speeches and more speeches and dinner and dancing with everyone she hadn't had a chance to dance with yet, Serena wasn't an expert but she's pretty sure she was allowed more alone time with her 'husband' at their wedding reception.

"Serena darling, how do you feel?" Lily asked when she pulled Serena away from the main room.

Serena reluctantly started walking with her mother, looking back to see if she could spot Nate or Erik and frowning when she couldn't find them. "I feel like I just entered a marriage with an expiry date."

"Well dear your grandmother is here to see you," Lily said as they walked. "She would have come to see you before the wedding but she arrived a little late."

"Mom, she's never late," Serena said and Lily laughed but continued walking.

"Flight delays," she said simply as they walked out into the gardens not too far from the reception.

"If the weather was better, we could have had the reception here," Cece said with a smile, walking forward to take her granddaughters hands in hers. "You made a beautiful bride, my dear."

"Thank you," Serena said softly leaning down to air kiss her grandmother.

"And Nathaniel, he's a charming young man," Cece said smiling. "Much better for you than that other boy you were dating."

"His name is Dan grandma and I'm still dating him," Serena said defensively, Lily drew in a breath but kept her face as indifferent as she could and Cece just looked horrified.

"What are you thinking?" Cece asked and Serena drained her champagne glass, her third or fourth one she couldn't remember. She heard Lily sigh next to her and gladly accepted the drink her mother was handing to her. "Do you know what kind of scandals this would cause? Not only to you but to your husband and your new family, this is not the responsible young woman I know Serena, what happened to you, has he corrupted you so much that you've lost your values?"

"No grandma, I don't know if you got the memo but this is an arranged marriage," Serena said tightly, her voice not going louder than its meant to, her fingers unconsciously grabbing the pendent on the long necklace as if it would help her stay calm. "I consented to one year of being married in public to Nate but what I do privately has nothing to do with you, Nate is fine with it."

"He's fine with his wife having an affair under his nose?" Cece asked, clearly not believing her granddaughter.

"It's not an affair if the marriage isn't real," Serena said, why does her grandmother not understand that this was not how she pictured herself married and that Nate is not in love with her and she is not in love with him, Dan on the other hand was another story.

"This marriage is real Serena, those vows you said and the papers you signed mean a lot more than you think," Cece told her and Serena rolled her eyes.

"It means that you help mom and dad with their troubles and Nate gets his stamp of approval from the van der Woodsen's," Serena said squeezing the pendent tighter, her grandmother focused on what she was holding in her hand, her eyes widening in recognition. Serena felt like she should ask her if she recognized it but she couldn't bring herself to ask questions about the pendent just yet. "You don't tell the press, everyone stays happy."

"Oh no child, that's where you're wrong," Cece says calmly her eyes not leaving the pendent Serena held onto before turning and walking off toward the party, Serena sighs and plucks a glass of the tray of a passing waiter.

"What does that mean mom," Serena asked, looking down at the pendent, why would her grandmother recognize it?

"I don't know," Lily said looking just as confused as her daughter. "We should get back now, it's almost time for you to leave."

Serena tucked the pendent away from everyone's sight and nodded, she finished her drink before walking back to the main area with her mom, she was buzzed she could feel her head spin a little as she walked and she liked it, it was a familiar feeling. Nate found her as soon as she and Lily walked through the open door and Serena looked at him confused because she knows she was supposed to tell him something but she can't remember what it was and then she just got distracted by his eyes and didn't remember anything at all.

"Something wrong?" Nate asked slightly amused because Serena was staring at him like she had something to say.

"No, I don't think so," she said slowly, she could not figure out what she wanted to ask him but she knew that she had to ask him something, or maybe that was Erik, or maybe she had questions for both of them. Serena shook her head and took a deep breath, that was too much thinking for the amount of alcohol she'd had.

"Are you ready to go?" Nate asked, wrapping an arm around her waist and guiding her. Serena squeaked when she felt Nate touch her but quickly relaxed before anyone noticed her slip. "I think everyone's really tired but they're waiting for us, it's been a long night."

"Too long," Serena mumbled thinking about her talk with her grandmother. "I'll go get a cab."

"We've got to say bye first," Nate said almost laughing at how much she forgets after a few drinks and Serena frowned at him. "Then we take the _limo._"

"Nice ride," Serena said sarcastically and Nate laughed, making her smile, his happiness was contagious.

The newlyweds said they're goodbyes and got into the limo, Serena caught her grandmothers disapproving gaze and sighed heavily causing Nate to look at her concerned. Nate's grandfather shook his grandsons hand and hugged Serena for what felt like the 10th time that night and Serena just wanted to get to the townhouse and sleep. She kept feeling like she was forgetting something but she'd been feeling like that the whole night so she just decided to let it slide, it probably wasn't that important.

"Oh," Serena suddenly exclaimed, startling Nate, as the limo started to move. "I just remembered something that I was supposed to ask you."

"Is that why you were looking at me weirdly earlier?" Nate asked smiling at her enthusiasm.

"Yeah kinda," Serena said thinking back. "And Erik said something that didn't make a lot of sense."

"Ok," Nate said nodding, he couldn't really help her with Erik but, "What did you have to ask me?"

"I," Serena started but was cut off by her own yawn.

"Is it important?" Nate asked chuckling. "Because you could just tell me when we get to the townhouse, or tomorrow."

"I want to ask you before I forget again," Serena said covering up another yawn. "When we get to the house I'm going straight to sleep."

"Looks like we're stuck in traffic," Nate said when they came to a stop. "More time for you to ask your question."

Serena shrugged and scooted closer to him on the seat so that she could rest her head on his shoulder, she kicked of her shoes and bent her legs so they were on the seat as well. Nate was pleasantly surprised because it was the first time since they met that she willingly got anywhere close to him, if they spoke alone she usually put as much distance as she could between them, always letting him know that this was just an agreement to her and nothing else. Tipsy Serena was more relaxed and definitely more at ease with Nate, it was how she was around the cameras and other people.

"Are you asleep?" Nate asked when she didn't say anything else, he adjusted himself to make it more comfortable for both of them and put his arm around her.

"No," she mumbled and Nate huffed out a small laugh. "What does 'A Whole New World' mean to you?"

"It was my mother's favorite song," Nate said after a moment. "When I was younger, she used to sing it to me before I went to bed, it was my favorite lullaby."

"Why haven't I met your parents?" Serena asked and immediately regretted asking the question when she felt Nate's body tense next to hers, a million scenarios went through her mind about the reasons she hadn't met them but what he said next was definitely not one of them.

"They are … dead," he said softly and sadly looking out the window and avoiding her eyes like she always did when he tried to look at her. "But that's a story for another day."

Serena watched him pull himself together effortlessly and smile at her. "I'm sorry," she said feeling completely sober now.

"It's ok," he said giving her a half shrug. "Why don't you go to sleep and I'll wake you up when we get there?"

Serena wanted to say more or ask more but he looked like he really didn't want to talk to her about it so she just nodded, she made a move to go back to her place at the other end of the seat but his arm kept her where she was against him. Serena smiled to herself and made herself more comfortable against his side, letting the motion of the car lull her to sleep.

She was jerked out of her deep sleep when she was moved, her arm was being pulled around his neck and she felt his arms on her back and under her knees, cold air hit her face so she turned it toward the body holding her, pressing her face into the fabric of the shirt. She inhaled deeply and smiled, she knew this wasn't Dan, he never smelt this good but she was so comfortable she couldn't really care less, she could feel herself drifting back into a deeper sleep so she shut her eyes tight as the person walked with her in his arms and let the sleep take her again.

"Serena?" the voice brought her back to consciousness and she frowned, why would anyone talk to her now?

"Excuse me, how did you get in here?" Serena felt the chest her head was leaning on rumble as he spoke and the arms she was in pull her closer to his body, Serena just wanted to tell them to shut up so she could go back to sleep, she felt so tired. "Do I know you?"

"I assumed she told you but I guess she didn't find me important enough," the other voice said disappointedly and the sleepy haze Serena was in was slowly fading, making her more aware of her surroundings. "I'm Dan Humphrey."

Serena snapped awake, her eyes remained closed for a moment as she tried to remember where she was and why Dan was introducing himself and then the events of the day hit her and she froze, she was in a wedding dress in the arms of her husband and her boyfriend was in the room as well and Serena can't help but think how messed up that felt. She looked up into Nate's confused blue eyes as he looked down at her and she gulped.

"I'm her boyfriend."

* * *

**A/N hey guys so in honor of the end of Gossip girl *river of tears* I have decided to release the new chapter and I'm hoping this isnt a mistake because I havent written anything after this lol so just stay with me if I dont update this again for a little while, I am really glad that you guys love this story, it's alot of fun writing it :D**

**ok so after the finale I'm going to either do a oneshot or a full length story, depending on the insperation and you guys can let me know how you feel about the episode there if you review this before watching the finale, thats another reason I may not update this too often but just know that I will never give up on my stories, I know how irritating it is to read an unfinished story and I wouldnt do that to you guys hehe**

**So DS looks like its going to happen but Serenate will forever be my favorite Gossip Girl couple and I love them with all my heart, this season alone has proved how much better Nate is for Serena with all the little things he did throughout for her and I hope that the finale gives us NS scenes to make us happy**

**Please review and let me know if this chapter was good or bad or any other feelings you had about it I want to know**

**Thanks again for the amazing reviews and response, I will post again within this week with my response to the last Gossip Girl episode ever! so chat to you guys soon **

**Until Next Time (^^,)**


	7. Chapter 7

"_Boyfriend?" Nate asked letting Serena's feet gently fall to the floor, he held her up so she was steady on her feet before letting her go. "And how did you get in here? I'm pretty sure the place was locked."_

"_Serena gave me a key, I thought she would have mentioned this to you seeing how … close you have become," Dan said keeping his eye on Serena who was still waking herself up and now standing but gripping onto Nate's arm, Nate looked at her questioningly before turning back to Dan. "Why were you carrying her?"_

"_I fell asleep on the way back here," Serena said quietly, moving toward Dan and placing her palm on his chest. "Why don't we urm, go to the room and talk?"_

"_Sure, in a minute," Dan said still staring at Nate like he was going to attack him at any moment, if Serena wasn't holding his arm Dan would have been circling Nate. "So Nate what do you do for a living?"_

"_I run a magazine," Nate said straightening his jacket. _

"_What magazine?" Dan asked and Serena sighed moving her wedding dress so that the fabric was out from underneath her shoes. "Maybe I could check it out."_

"_It hasn't been launched yet, with the move and the wedding I've decided to push back the launch till next week."_

"_Why next week?" Dan asked and Serena gripped Dan's arm a little tighter to ask him to stop. "I mean aren't you going back to work tomorrow."_

_Nate laughed a little and shook his head. "It would look bad if I went to work so soon after my wedding, don't you think?" _

"_I'm sure people would understand that you're excited for this launch and you can take your honeymoon week some other time," Dan said raising an eyebrow and Serena sighed._

"_Dan," Serena said gripping his arm again to ask him to stop talking and just go with her because Nate did not deserve any of this. "It's late, we're all tired, let's talk about 'The Spectator' some other time."_

"_Serena's right," Nate said looking at her and Serena nodded her head to say thank you, Dan watched them and clenched his jaw jealously. "Why don't you come over tomorrow for lunch or something?" Nate said when he realized it was probably the only way to get Dan to leave._

"_Ok, I guess it is late," Dan said watching Nate, he clenched his jaw and looked at Serena's pleading face before nodding. "I'll see you tomorrow, I love you."_

_Serena winced as Dan made a huge show of kissing her in front of Nate, letting him know that Serena was his and Serena wished that the male ego didn't control him like it did._

"_Bye Dan," Serena said with a smile as he left, she sent an apologetic look to Nate and walked up to her room collapsing on the bed wondering how she was possibly going to get through the year and come out the same as she was a month ago._

"Why 'The Spectator'?" Dan asked bringing Serena out of her memory, she was unconsciously stabbing a piece of chicken as she thought about the events that led her to this uncomfortable lunch with her husband, boyfriend and her boyfriend's little sister. "I'm sure there are better names for this high society paper."

"The magazine lets its readers step back and watch their favorite activities and people from afar like spectators generally do," Nate said easily, taking a sip of his orange juice, Serena kept her head down and bit her lip, she's been trying to get Dan to leave Nate alone since he came but Dan keeps going for Nate and Nate just stays so calm it freaks her out at just how unaffected he can be with all of Dan's criticism. "I don't think the name needs to be anymore high society

"I think it's really cool that you have your own magazine," Jenny said from across the table, she had her elbows on the table and her face propped up in her palms, admiring Nate. Serena sneaks a look over to her plate to see the food untouched, she smiles at the 16 year olds crush on Nate and wonders if he knows that she's been staring at him with wide eyes ever since they arrived, much to Dan's dismay.

"What's going to be in this magazine?" Dan asked. "If I buy it what will I be reading?"

Serena kicked Dan under the table and hoped that Nate doesn't get too offended by her ridiculously jealous boyfriend. "You sound like one of my investors," Nate said with a light chuckle. "Basically it will keep people updated on celebrities, it will cover social and sport events and yes there's even a fashion section."

Jenny squealed as Nate looked at her, she had told him about her love for fashion earlier and Serena smiled because he was trying to include her, Serna looked up to find Nate's eyes already on her, everything felt like it was going in slow motion as she looked into those incredibly blue eyes of his and she almost frowned when they turned away from her.

"Why New York?" Dan asked, taking another mouthful of food and leaning back in his chair to glare at Nate.

"Well we did the research and New York seemed like the best place to start this magazine," Nate said and Serena could see that he was getting a little irritated at the questions Dan was asking but he kept his cool. "The people here are more … receptive to a new magazine."

"So why did you have to marry _my_ girlfriend?" Dan asked gritting his teeth, Jenny groaned and Serena kicked Dan a little harder under the table because she's explained this to him already. "I want to hear his side of the story."

Nate cleared his throat uncomfortably and Serena shook her head to tell him that he didn't need to say anything and that Dan was just being difficult. "You don't have to answer that," Jenny said smiling at Nate before turning and giving her brother a scary look. "My brother is being an ass because he's afraid you'll steal Serena away from him."

"Urm it's ok," Nate said shifting in his seat. "I needed people to know me in New York for this magazine to work, so my grandfather and Serena's grandmother, who have always been friends because they run in the same circles, they came up with a plan that involved both of us and benefited us and here we are."

"So basically you're just using Serena to make your magazine go far," Dan said and Serena stood up, her chair scraping the floor as she pushed it back with such force.

"And I agreed," she told Dan throwing her napkin on the table. "I can't take this anymore and if you cannot accept my and Nate's situation then please leave."

"Serena wait," Dan called after her as she exited the room leaving behind three shocked people.

Serena stomped her way through the house and went straight into her room, shutting the door behind her, she was so angry at Dan for the way he was reacting to her fake marriage, what part of the act didn't he get? He was frustrating her with all the questions he had for Nate, just thinking about her fake husband, Serena reached for the necklace that held his eyes on her dresser and twirled it around her fingers hoping it would relax her as the blue always had.

"Serena," Dan asked, knocking on the door softly, poking his head in, Serena quickly put her necklace under her pillow, she didn't know why but it felt like she had been doing something wrong, it didn't feel right for anyone to see that necklace anymore, not since she's unconsciously attached such a strong feeling to it.

"Why won't you just let it go?" Serena asked, sitting up on the side of her bed and looking at him. "When you decided to stay in my life I assumed that you accepted what my life was going to be like for the next year and I thought that you'd be supportive, I didn't expect you to be happy but I thought you'd try to make this easier for me by pretending that you're ok with this."

"I didn't mean to upset you Serena," Dan said leaning on the door. "It's just hard to sit back and watch you play house with him, he's not exactly a fish out of water in your world."

"There's that 'world' thing again Dan," Serena almost screamed. "I don't care about your social standing or how much money you have or how well you fit in with my family, I never have."

"I know that," Dan said holding his hands up. "But you can't tell me that you don't feel anything for him because of the way he just fits into your life, it's easy for him and it's never going to be that easy for me."

"It's easy for him because he doesn't expect anything from me or my family," Serena said. "He's been on the receiving end of your nonsense this entire day and he hasn't lost his cool like you would have so yes I feel gratitude toward him for putting up with you while you tried to make him a villain."

"That's not all you feel for him," Dan said clenching his jaw and Serena just shook her head.

"I need you to leave not Dan, I just can't look at you right now," Serena said biting her lip. "Nate is a good person, he doesn't deserve your scrutiny, he doesn't need it, he doesn't expect anything from me, he basically lets me do anything I want including being with you when my grandmother is so against me having this relationship and being married."

"Your grandmother hates me," Dan said laughing humorously. "I'm sure she's on top of the world now that you've married into a family that she approves of."

"It's a temporary marriage Dan, what don't you understand about that?" Serena asked rubbing her eyes, her grandmothers been a huge topic of discussion for the couple and not a good one, she never approved of their relationship and Serena wished Dan would just listen to her and wait for her grandmother to eventually come around.

"I understand that you're protecting another man," Dan growled and Serena ground her teeth, this was not about her protecting Nate, this was about his own jealousy at another man being too close to his territory.

"No," Serena said shaking her head. "Nate's old money but he isn't a douche, you are just trying to find faults in him."

Dan huffed out a breath of air and shook his head. "You'll see, soon enough you'll see."

Dan opened the door again and left the room, Serena clenched her jaw and followed him out. She didn't make a sound, just followed to see Nate holding the door open and Dan leave without saying anything to Nate. Jenny dawdled around staying close to Nate and smiling at everything he said until Dan called her out, Jenny awkwardly waved at Nate and left.

Serena stood at the top of the stairs and watched them staring out the door until Nate turned to her and saw her standing there, staring at nothing. "So that was interesting," Nate said with a smile after he closed the door.

Serena looked down at Nate before turning and walking away, she got as far as her room door when she realized Nate needed an explanation, he put up with her boyfriend's extreme questioning since they met the day before and she knows he's more than a little confused about her attitude.

She finds him in the dining room, he was clearing the table, something that she or the maids are supposed to do, not him. "Need help," Serena asked and Nate almost dropped the plates in his hands. "Sorry."

"It's ok," Nate said walking to the kitchen, Serena picked up a few plates to help and followed him. "Dan looked kinda pissed when he was leaving."

Nate let it hang there and Serena had to smile at his attempt at fishing for clues to what happened with her and Dan. "We had a … a bit of a fight."

"Look I'm sorry I put you in this position," Nate said after a second of silence. "I know this marriage isn't something you wanted but since we're stuck with it I really hope Dan accepts it."

"Nate I know that you want us to be friends to make this year bearable but I think that we should stay away from each other," Serena said biting her lip and looking away. "I love Dan but he has insecurities and I need to make sure my relationship with him is safe before I can start a friendship with you."

Nate didn't say anything, he just stared at her for a beat and moved the dishes around a little bit more. Serena could tell that he was just getting uncomfortable and nervous with the way she was speaking. Serena almost wanted to laugh and tell him that she was joking but she also knew how much her and Dan's breaking relationship needed this.

"I know it's going to be a little awkward when we're alone but I'll still play the perfect wife in public, I just need us," she said motioning between the two of them. "To be non-existent while that happens."

"Sure," Nate said with a distant look in his eyes, turning around and facing away from her. Serena pressed her lips together and nodded to herself, she didn't know why she expected Nate to protest or why she even wanted him to, she just knew that she felt worse now than she did when Dan left her.

Serena walked back up to her room and texted Dan the new arrangements of her and Nate's deal, she didn't know if it would help their relationship or break it. All she knew was that she wished she had a better control over her heart because if Dan hadn't given her a reason to stay away from Nate the feelings she was currently getting for him would have taken center stage and she doesn't think she's ready for that yet.

She could almost feel how perfect her and Nate's future could have been had their relationship started on proper terms, how they could have dated, how he could have proposed, how magical their wedding could have felt had she been a willing bride, how they'd be half way across the world by now on a romantic honeymoon, how he'd treat her like a princess and how she could actually have all of that if she let herself want it.

But she couldn't, their relationship had a time-limit because their relationship was arranged, because they didn't date, because she was just handed the ring, because she was a bride too hung up on another man to feel the magic, because she didn't want the romance to go on a honeymoon, because she couldn't give him a chance to actually treat her like a princess and because she could not let herself want that life no matter what. Dan was her future, no matter what they were going through now, they had been together too long and fought through too much to just let it go for a handsome man from California named Nathaniel Archibald.

Serena lay on her bed and let a tear fall down her cheek, she dug the necklace out from under her pillow and put it on, if only just to feel something familiar in this unfamiliar territory she's now entered, this was the beginning of the hardest year of her life.

* * *

**A/N : ok so I hope that this chapter gives you a better idea of whats going on in Serena's mind and how threatened Dan feels about Nate and how she has to try to steer clear of any would be feelings for Nate she may have and I think I should stop rambling right now.**

**This chapter isnt very NS-y but hopefully that changes, I have a plan but the way I write it could be a little longer before the things I know you want to happen actually does happen, I apologise for the length of this chapter and the wait but insperation was not something I had hehe**

**I want to thank you guys for your reviews on '5 years later' the response on both these stories are amazing, the post finale chaptered story for GG is still being thought up, there are a few crazy idea's that I'm temped to use but I may save them for a later story hehe **

**Anyway thank you guys so much for all the amazing reviews, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, more should be out in the new year, hopefully insperation flows more easily as the craziness of the festive season runs away hehe**

**Merry Belated Christmas to everyone and I hope you all have a happy New Year, I wish each and everyone of you happiness and luck for the year ahead :) **

**Until next time (^^,)**


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh you two make such a wonderful couple," one of Nate's key investors exclaimed when she saw Nate and Serena standing together at one of 'The Spectators' functions.

"Thank you Laura," Nate said smiling down at Serena and then looking back at the other woman.

"It's such a pity that those gossip magazines were speculating trouble in paradise for you already," she said and Serena let out a nervous laugh.

"Yes well that's all it is," Serena said pressing herself closer to Nate for emphasis. "Gossip."

"Yes darling," Laura said reaching out to touch Serena's hand. "The real thing they should be speculating about you two is when the baby is coming."

Serena immediately covered her tummy and opened her eyes wide, did she look like she was expecting and Nate just laughed. "Not any time soon," he said rubbing Serena's arm. "We're not ready to have a baby yet, we've only been married four months."

"Well that's a shame," Laura said shaking her head. "You two will make beautiful babies."

"Thank you," Serena said looking up at Nate, she smiled because it was true, if she had to have kids with Nate she knows they would be picture perfect. "I think we will as well."

Nate looked at her, caught off-guard by her statement, generally when people made comments about their future, Serena shut them down or let him take over the conversation, she'd never say something to let them know she was thinking about it.

"Laura, excuse us, my grandfather has just arrived and I don't want to keep him waiting," Nate said when her and Serena's conversation started to die down.

"Oh of course, we'll chat later," the older woman said smiling at them and making her way across the room.

Nate put his hand on Serena's lower back as he'd done at their engagement announcement and at every public event since and Serena tried not to jump at the sparks she felt from every little touch they shared.

It had been just over four months since their wedding and since their other agreement came to pass, they avoided each other in the halls of their house and pretended to be madly in love when they left and Serena wondered how they got by with only one slip. Grandfather was furious when he read the news that Nate was working day and night at the office while his new bride spent countless nights alone in their huge house, one tabloid went as far as to say that Nate was already cheating on Serena. After that story broke the couple issued a statement to say that Nate was just trying to make sure his business wasn't going to fail and that they were perfectly happy, making sure their public outings were captured and they looked like they were still in their honeymoon period.

Nate was at the house a lot more after that story and Serena didn't know why but she felt safer and more comfortable with him there, even though Dan was constantly over. She figured it was because it was Nate's house and she was just a guest, it couldn't be anything else …. Right?

They were still a new couple to look out for so they had to keep up the image, going out regularly for coffee or ice-cream and 'romantic' walks, hoping that they looked happy enough for the reporters they knew were still suspicious moved on to newer things. She didn't want to admit it to anyone especially not herself but Serena could feel her resolve slipping, when Nate moved around the house, she found herself listening to his footsteps, wondering if he was coming to check on her, she let her eyes linger on him just a little bit longer than it should when they were out in public, it was for the camera's, at least that's what she kept telling herself.

Serena's relationship with Nate's best friends had been only for the public as well, she knew they put up with the act just for Nate's sake. Since Nate was so close to his friends it would look suspicious if Serena didn't have some sort of relationship with them. She and Chuck rarely had to interact alone but the press were under the illusion that Serena was actively involved in Blair's wedding planning and accompanied her to all the bridal shops, Blair pretended to want Serena's opinions on things but as soon as they were alone it was like they were complete strangers, Blair wasn't even saying insulting things to her anymore or making snarky comments, Serena doesn't know why but she missed it.

Her relationship with Dan had become … repetitive, she doesn't have a better way to explain it and she doesn't exactly know why but he comes over and they talk about school and do their homework and sometimes they'll kiss, rarely do they ever go further and Serena just isn't feeling what she used to anymore, she's not feeling the same things that she feels with Nate and the thought scares her because she loves Dan, when she agreed to this deal she knew nothing was going to change that, but now she can't be too sure. Dan seems happy, he smiles a lot more now that Nate is just a stranger to them when they're in the house and Serena knows it's because he thinks he's winning something and she loves him she really does but she's not sure why anymore, it's like everything she's loved about him is slowly disappearing .

"Grandfather, lovely to see you again," Serena said to the old man leaning in to give him a hug after Nate greeted him.

"Serena and Nathaniel," Grandfather greeted, hugging Serena and stepping back to look at the two of them with a smile on his face. "I trust everything is going well?"

"Yes, of course it is," Nate said lazily dragging his fingers up and down a small portion of Serena's lower back, waking every nerve he touched and making sure she couldn't get lost in her own thoughts for too long.

"No more suspicious sleepovers at the office I presume?" he asked softly, raising an eyebrow at the two of them.

"Of course not," Nate said with a chuckle and Grandfather's smile faltered for a beat as he turned his eyes to Serena, she could see the worry in his eyes as he thought of their plan failing, Serena wasn't sure but she also thought she saw hope for their timed marriage. Nate already had most of what he needed thanks to Serena's influence but they needed to keep their image until Nate was able to hold the investors without her. "We've been the perfect couple."

"You don't need to worry," Serena assured him bringing her hands together and twirling her engagement and wedding rings around her finger as if to say she hasn't forgotten their deal. Her parents were not in any financial trouble anymore but if William pulled his funding they will be.

"Perfect, your grandmother would be pleased to know that," the old man said with a relieved smile on his face. "Wonderful party Nathaniel, I'm sure you have mingling to do."

"He worries too much," Nate said shaking his head at his grandfather when the old man walked away. Serena gave him a small smile but remained quiet, she knew they were out in public but her feelings were not in check tonight, she was afraid she'd say the wrong thing or act the wrong way and she couldn't lead Nate on. "Ok, I know we agreed not to have any contact privately but to the rest of the world I _am_ your husband, I don't think you're supposed to shut me out like this unless we are having problems."

"I'm sorry," Serena said just as softly as he did, she knew he was getting really irritated by her lack of response to him out in public especially tonight but she couldn't do it. She was emotionally exhausted and she thought she was going to cry, of all the things she thought would be difficult, she never expected that trying not to like her husband would be her biggest challenge.

"I didn't mean for it to sound harsh Serena," Nate said with a sigh and Serena smiled at him and touched his check as a photographer walked passed them, capturing their 'sweet' moment and supposedly taking the couple by surprise. "I just need you to work with me right now."

"I know, I'm just a little exhausted," she said walking with him to the next person they were meant to talk to. "It's been a long week."

Nate nodded but didn't look like he really believed her, "Where's Dan tonight?" Nate asked and Serena raised an eyebrow up at him. "What? I'm allowed to ask, we're supposed to be a talking couple."

"He's in Brooklyn with Vanessa and Jenny, they are planning something for his parents anniversary," Serena said accepting the champagne flute Nate handed to her.

"Would you have been there if it wasn't for the party?" Nate asked taking a sip of his champagne and touching her arm to stop her from moving, everyone else could wait.

"No," she said softly, fingering the van der Bilt ring again, she'd been doing that a lot lately, she takes it off when she's around Dan because he always stares at it angrily when he see's it and she thinks that the more she removes it from his sight the less they both have to think about her marriage and the less they have to argue about.

"Why not?" Nate questioned, pulling out Serena's chair to sit back at their table and then sitting down next to her.

"You are asking a lot of questions," Serena stated and Nate smiled.

"It's the only time I get to, these events are the only times we actually talk," he told her and Serena nodded, it was true, their walks and ice-cream trips are never filled with questions or long talks like just smiles and idle chit-chat about the weather.

"We shouldn't really be talking this much right now either," Serena said and Nate shook his head.

"Don't stop this, it's the only time I get to figure out what's going on in your head," he said.

"Do you really want to know?" she asked.

"Of course I do, you are a very interesting person," Nate told her with a smile and then shrugged. "Even if I only get to talk to you once a month."

"I'm sorry," Serena said and she really was, she liked Nate, she liked that he didn't expect anything from her, she liked that he makes himself scarce when Dan's around, she likes that he's still interested in her life after she pushed him away.

"Don't be," he said. "So why wouldn't you have been with Dan and his family?"

"Dan likes to think that my family doesn't accept him and his family welcomes me with open arms," Serena said biting her lip and looking away from those blue eye's that seem to look right through her. "But they don't, as sweet as Jenny is, these little things that they do, their traditions are not something they invite you to take part in easily, Dan only told me about it to assure me he wasn't cheating or something."

"So why don't you say something about it? And isn't Vanessa just a friend?" Nate asked and Serena laughed.

"She is but she's been a friend since they were in diapers so there's a certain number of friendship years you have to make up to get into this club," Serena said a little mockingly and Nate nodded as if he were still trying to understand it all. "I know that if I randomly show up it would seem like I'm trying to impose or something, Dan and Vanessa will act as if I've ruined something huge and Jenny will try to convince them that everything's ok but it really won't be."

"How many times have you 'intruded'?" Nate asked with a slight chuckle making inverted comma's in the air with his fingers.

"A few, I don't really remember," Serena said and looked down at her shoes. "The first 2 years of my and Dan's relationship were full of mistakes on my part."

"Really?" Nate asked with a genuinely confused look on his face and Serena nodded. "I don't mean for this to sound so blunt but I would have broken up with him by now."

Serena laughed and shook her head. "We've both made enough sacrifices to make this relationship work, it's too much of time and effort and emotional craziness to break up now."

"You are still young," Nate said looking at her straight in the eyes and Serena felt like she couldn't breathe. "You have enough time to rebuild that kind of commitment with someone else, relationships shouldn't take that much out of you."

Serena blinked and swallowed hard, almost asking him if he thought she should try to build that kind of commitment with him instead. "I thought that's what made it … passionate or something."

"There's a difference between staying in a relationship because you can't imagine your life without the person and staying in the relationship because you feel like no one else is going to take the time and effort to learn everything about you," Nate said softly and Serena couldn't help but compare his reaction to a reaction Dan could have to the same words, by now Dan would have burst out laughing in her face because she said something as cheesy as 'passion'.

"Will you?" Serena asked in almost a whisper, without thinking and only then did she realize how close her and Nate's faces where, how close to a real kiss they were. Her eyes flickered down to his lips for a split second before she sat up straight again, putting distance between them and pushing her chair back. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked that, I need to go."

"Wait Serena," Nate said grabbing her hand and standing up with her looking around to see if anyone saw her moment of panic and pulled her to him so it looked like they were hugging. "We'll just say that you're feeling a little under the weather, I have to stay for the final two speeches but I'll apologize for your quick exit."

"Thank you," Serena said biting her lip and looking anywhere but his eyes.

"Ok, the car is waiting downstairs for you," Nate said pulling out his phone. "I'll make sure the driver is there by the time you reach the door."

Serena let him kiss her cheek before racing out of the venue, she saw Nate's grandfather watch her go with wide worried eyes and she hoped that Nate explains that she _had_ to leave. She couldn't handle being in there for another minute, she would have kissed Nate and ruined her relationship with Dan because that kiss wasn't planned or fake and that conversation was the deepest she'd had with anyone in such a long time, the feelings generated was enough to make her consider dumping Dan just because Nate suggested it and that scared her.

The driver that brought them to the party was waiting with the door open for her, she slipped inside the car without saying anything and buried her head in her hands, what had she done?

She had to keep reminding herself that she had Dan, that Dan was the love of her life, that there was no-one else for her but Dan… then there was Nate, perfect Nate, with his perfect blue eyes and perfect reasoning that made her doubt her choices in men since she started dating. Only four months had passed since their wedding, how could she survive another eight, how could she resist Nate when he was having such a big effect on her now and they barely spoke?

Serena ripped off her wedding bands and then realized that someone was going to notice those rocks missing from her finger so she'd just keep it on until she got to her room … and that was the only reason she was keeping them on.

Serena reached for the necklace around her neck to calm her and silently cursed when she realized that she hadn't worn it and she hadn't been wearing it since she got married because she didn't want anyone to see it anymore, she didn't want anyone to notice it, she didn't want a bigger connection to Nate and that pendent held his eyes so there was no doubt in her mind that it somehow belonged to him, maybe her grandmother had a rendezvous with his grandfather and that's how she ended up with it, but she didn't want to think about her grandmothers love life so she scrapped that idea.

She was still thinking of the many ways that pendant came to her and how it was connected to Nate when she heard screeching and she looked up to see headlights coming straight toward her, she didn't realize that she was screaming until her world went black.

* * *

**A/N : Hey guys , ok so I know I'm a bit late but I'm still recovering from New Year's day and all the travelling I've been doing since! Happy 2013 everyone! I hope you have an awesome year :D**

**This chapter was finished while I was half asleep so I havent proof read properly, some things may make no sense but I think I did pretty good, I'll fix problems if I find them, if you find any problems just let me know really quickly hehe**

**My study material is at the post office waiting for me so please excuse any late updates until June, if the story lasts that long hehe everything is getting harder so I need to focus alot more of my time on my work, thank you for understanding **

**I really hoped you guys loved this chapter, it was a mission to get it where I needed it to go but I think I did pretty good, please please review and let me know what you think **

**Until Next Time (^^,)**


	9. Chapter 9

Beep.

"Nathaniel, she's going to be fine, the doctors said she'll wake up soon."

Beep.

"Come on Jen, we'll be back tomorrow, she'll pull through, just like she did the last time, we love you Serena."

Beep.

"Serena, darling mum and dad are here, you gave us a shock but you're going to be just fine."

Beep.

"I don't know Chuck, there's just something about her, it's like something out of my memory, it's like we've met before, I felt this connection when I first laid my eyes on her but I just can't put my finger on it."

"Nathaniel you have got to stop reading those romance novels."

Beep.

"I know why you asked for this William, don't worry, the way they look at each other tells me we made the right choice, they'll understand soon enough."

Beep.

Her grandmother, the last voice she heard Serena could have sworn that was her grandmothers but she wasn't sure, she had heard other voices as well but she can't remember what any of them said, her grandmothers voice sticks out to her though. It's not what she said, Serena can't remember what she said, it's how her grandmother said it, she sounded almost childlike, like she believed in what she said, something Serena had never heard from her before.

Serena opened her eyes slowly and looked around the room, she was back in her room in the house she shared with Nate. She didn't have any dreams of the accident this time, just of the hospital before she woke up. She was only unconscious for a few hours and kept for observation for one night, her grandmother and William were worried about her memory but she seemed to remember everything until the car crashed into hers, she was lucky to just get away with the injuries she had.

Dan had been with her when she woke up and she felt almost disappointed that it wasn't Nate sitting by her bedside waiting for her to open her eyes. It was the one downfall to her not having some sort of amnesia, she remembered that she was in fact falling for her husband, she remembered everything he said about her and Dan and the feeling that shot through her when she asked if he'd take the time to learn everything about her, she remembered being afraid of the answer and panicking because of how close their faces were and how much she wanted him to just close the space between them and kiss her without reason. The thing she remembered the most though were his arms around her to stop her panic and how she didn't want him to let her go.

"Hey, you're awake," Nate said standing at the entrance of her room and Serena's breath caught in her throat as she looked at him, his blue eyes concerned as he watched her. "You didn't have any nightmares this time."

"No, I just … remembered people talking while I was asleep," Serena said smiling at him as he walked into the room and took a seat on her bed.

"Oh?" Nate said curiously, raising an eyebrow and looking at her. "What were they talking about?"

"I don't know," Serena said laughing and Nate joined her although she was pretty sure she wasn't very funny. "I just keep thinking about my grandmother, I don't know what she said but … I just keep remembering it."

"Maybe you should call her and ask," Nate suggested tilting his head and Serena smiled at how cute he looked in that moment.

"Maybe later," she said, she wanted to ask her grandmother about the pendant that matched Nate's eyes as well but right now all she wanted to do was talk to Nate for as long as she could. She felt like she was a teenager talking to her crush and she wondered how they got from no words just the week before to conversations in her bedroom. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"It's three in the afternoon," Nate said smiling and she quickly turned to look at the clock to confirm his time. "I get off work early coz my wife is still on bed rest."

"Oh," Serena said feeling like an idiot, she knew Nate didn't have to take time off work but he worries about her way too much. Serena didn't feel the need to still be on bed rest but the doctor insisted, she had a mild concussion and a badly sprained ankle but that was still no reason for her to be so immobile. Being so late in the afternoon she knew Dan would be coming to visit soon, after campus is over he generally goes to the house to spend time with Serena and bring her her homework.

"How do you feel?" Nate asked bringing a hand up to touch the cut above her left eye and Serena closed her eyes and focused on not purring as his fingers gently brushed her skin. "The doctor said that you must call him if you feel any pain or dizziness or-"

"Nate, I feel fine," Serena said biting her lip to keep the girlish giggle from escaping her lips. "I will call him if I really need to."

"I'm just making sure," he said holding his hands up in surrender and Serena couldn't help but notice that he looked more comfortable since they broke their silence in the house rule and just spoke like old friends.

"Thank you," Serena said looking away from him before she started blushing.

"So about those nightmares," Nate started and stopped when Serena took in a deep breath, she knew it wasn't his fault because he had no idea but she couldn't explain the nightmares to him just yet, it was stupid and she was probably being really dumb for even having them but she was and she just couldn't talk about it. "I don't mean to pry, I just want to know how to help you."

"They'll go away … eventually," Serena said nodding. "It's nothing to worry about."

Nate didn't look like he believed her but he nodded slowly anyway. "If they don't stop soon I'm going to make you get professional help," he said and Serena frowned, they heard a door open and close downstairs and Nate stood up. "I should go, I'll check on you a little later again."

Serena smiled tightly as he left and buried her face in her pillow, she was happy Dan came because Nate stopped asking questions but now that Dan's here, Nate is gone and she's left with a funny feeling like she's missing something.

"Hey babe," Dan said when he entered, bouncing on her bed which made Serena's head bounce a little.

"Hi," she mumbled accepting his kiss and burrowing further under her covers.

"Look who I brought with me," he whispered into her ear and Serena looked up at him confused because she didn't hear anyone else come in. She looked over him to see Vanessa at the door smiling at her, Serena swallowed her sigh and sent back her own fake smile to the other girl.

"Hey V," Serena said talking to Vanessa as if they were actually friends like Dan thought.

"How's the head S?" Vanessa asked and Serena thought it sounded like she actually cared. "Wouldn't want you to lose any more of those precious few brain cells now would we," and just like that Serena's bubble was burst.

"My head is perfectly fine," Serena said, Dan always loved that the two of them had such 'playful' banter between them and Serena always wondered whether he realized just how much they disliked each other. "What brings you by?"

"Oh, you know Dan was coming so I thought I'd come check up on you as well," Vanessa said shrugging and looking at the things in Serena's room. Serena rolled her eyes as she watched Vanessa pick up all the little trinkets that decorated Serena's room and scrutinize them. "You know for the amount of money you're supposed to have, this is a really simple room."

Serena took the pillow and covered her face with it for a second. "She has a point, didn't grandfather Archibald think his grand-daughter-in-law deserved more?" Dan asked bitterly and Serena thought she was going to scream because what the hell were they getting at.

"It's a temporary room, I didn't even want any of that in here," she groaned.

"Pity, I would have gotten something prettier than this," Vanessa said picking up her jewelry box. "You're really telling me that they couldn't find something better than this?"

"That's mine," Serena said rolling her eyes and Dan looked at her confused before taking it from Vanessa and opening it. Serena's heart stopped before she realized that the necklace was tucked safely underneath her pillow away from anyone else's eyes.

"I never noticed it here before," Dan said handing it back to Vanessa and Serena wanted to tell him that it was because he was so unobservant recently but she kept her mouth shut and just shrugged.

"For someone who claims not to be controlled by money, you're awfully interested in the quality of my room décor," Serena said annoyed at Vanessa's criticism.

"I'm just saying that with the money you have you could have gotten much better items than this," Vanessa said easily and Serena rolled her eyes, this is why Vanessa came today, to comment on everything wrong with the way she utilized her money.

"How's the head?" Dan finally asks and Serena smiles.

"It's good," she says, happy to have something different to talk about. "I should be able to get back to campus soon."

"How long did it take you to recover last time?" Vanessa asked a little mockingly and Serena's smile slipped right of her face. "I'm sure I remember it was at least a month before you were back on your feet."

"I hit my head harder the last time," Serena said through clenched teeth.

"I think it was about the same," Dan said seemingly oblivious to the tension between the girls. "The doctor said the same thing and you've been out of hospital for about two weeks now, I bet he'll give you until the end of the month to recover.

"Just think more time to sit around and do nothing," Vanessa said. "Oh! You could plan another party or hang out with the other rich trophy wives, isn't there some sort of club you could join."

"Vanessa's just joking around with you," Dan said laughing it off and Serena was pretty sure she wasn't, she felt the overwhelming need to push him away from her and tell the both of them to leave her room, but she was trying to prove to herself that she was still in love with Dan and not Nate and throwing Dan out of her room right now will not be very convincing.

"I'm sure she is," Serena mumbled, letting Dan pull her closer to him. She wasn't thinking at all about how much easier her body melded to Nate's, no because if she were thinking that then she would be admitting that she fit so much better with Nate and that would mess things up even more for her.

Serena spent the next hour trying not to jump out of bed and strangle Vanessa for making her snide comments and trying to spend some quality time with a boyfriend who was becoming more and more of just a friend. She ended up falling off to sleep while the two friends were talking about Dan's parent's anniversary surprise, Dan woke her up to let her know they were leaving and Serena fell back to sleep as soon as they were gone, she didn't realize how exhausting having Dan and Vanessa in the same room with her was. Maybe it was because she hadn't dealt with them together in almost half a year that her resistance to them was starting to disappear.

She felt rather than saw Nate check up on her later that night before he went to sleep she assumed, she just knows she felt a warm presence close by and woke up just enough to feel his lips on her forehead as he kissed her goodnight. He'd done that a few times over the past two weeks that she'd been out of hospital, since they were talking, it seemed like he was just more comfortable with checking up on her and sneaking in a kiss when he thought she was asleep, he just didn't need to know that her mind woke her up to savor those little moments.

It was late at night when Serena woke up with a start, the blanket was tangled around her legs and her head feeling really sore. Her mouth was dry so she decided to walk down to the kitchen to get water, she slid out of bed and limped down to the kitchen slowly, she didn't want to put too much pressure on her foot but she knew that if she really wanted to she could walk properly with minimal pain.

She switched the light on and gave herself a moment to adjust to the light before walking over to the refrigerator, she grabbed a bottle of water and a glass. Serena perched herself on one of the stools and ran her fingers through her hair, she was exhausted from doing nothing all day and the feeling was frustrating to her, almost as frustrating as her feelings.

Serena shook her head and sat up straighter, she was not going to feel like this anymore, she had an end in sight, at the end of her year of marriage she was going to leave with Dan and she was going to forget Nate existed and she was going to marry Dan and they were going to live happily ever after, that was the plan, that would always be the plan, she will not forget it. Nate had managed to worm his way into her mind and her heart in a way she never thought he would but that wasn't going to change anything for her, when Dan showed up before her wedding she knew that he was her future and that wasn't going to change because Nate is making her feel a few different things.

She kept thinking back to what Nate said the night of her accident , she knew he was right but she also knew that she needed Dan in her life to keep her on the right track, to put her on that pedestal, to make her want to be better. Nate doesn't know what she was like before, he can't understand it so everything he said doesn't apply to her. Her and Dan's relationship feels foreign now but every relationship is like that and they will make it through.

"What is wrong with me?" Serena mumbled to herself rubbing her eyes.

Serena took a deep breath and shook her head, she had been having constant nightmares ever since the accident, she knows that she woke Nate up a few times because she screams sometimes, she was pretty sure that the nightmares will go away by themselves, she doesn't know what they're about, all she knows is that she wakes up short of breath and terrified.

Serena gets up of the stool and finishes her water, placing the glass in the sink for the staff to sort out when they get there in the morning before opening the fridge to put the bottle of water back. She's about to close the fridge when the kitchen light goes off and she's screams involuntarily. It takes her a few moments to calm herself down and remind herself that it's just the one light and the light from the fridge is still on. She's watched too many horror movies and she's just psyching herself out, Serena's about to close the fridge and go back to her room when something catches her eye, she screams again and turns around because there's someone else there and he's coming toward her.

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**A/N : Yeah I know I made Serena scream way too many times in the last two chapters! I just honestly didnt know how else to get this chapter to the next one, this chapter was really just a filler, it didnt add much to the story, just a little more digging into Serena's brain to figure out where she is and how her relationships are changing but how she wants it to remain the same**

**I am doing more travelling this weekend so I decided to finish this chapter up really quickly and post it so you guys wouldnt have to wait until next week when I have time to write this.**

**My study material is with me and my assignments are due like really soon so I am not going to have as much time as I'd like to wrote, I know I keep saying that but it's just a reminder that I need to study so please just be patient with me if I'm not on time with the usual weekly updates **

**Thank you so much for the loevly reviews on the previous chapter, I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this story, please review this chapter and let me know what you think**

**Until Next Time (^^,)**


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey, hey, what happened?" Nate asked running into the kitchen to Serena.

"What is your problem?" Serena asked and Nate halting in his path to get to her. "You do not just scare someone like that, you should have at least made a sound!"

Nate didn't say anything he just burst out laughing causing Serena to glare at him, "That's why you were screaming?"

"Yes," Serena said, the adrenaline powered screaming dying off as he laughed. "And the light just went off without warning and I … I got scared."

"It's just the kitchen light, we'll get it fixed late, when everybody else is awake," Nate said rubbing his hair, making it untidier than it was before. "Why are you down here at one in the morning anyway?"

"I had a bad dream and my mouth was dry," Serena mumbled and Nate shook his head.

"Another nightmare?" he asked and she shrugged. "Are you sure you don't need to talk to someone about the accident because you were fine before that."

Serena didn't answer, instead she looked away from Nate at her hand gripping the table.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," Nate said dejectedly and Serena could tell that he was internally screaming at himself for bringing that up again.

"I know that the nightmares will go away because they did before," Serena said and Nate's eyes flew to her face, scanning her to try and figure out what she meant. "I was involved in a car accident similar to this about three years ago and the nightmares went away by itself."

"What happened?" Nate asked and Serena could hear the strained curiosity in his voice, he wanted to know but he didn't want to push her for the whole story.

"Ever since I could remember I wanted to leave the Upper East Side and its expectation to be perfect, I wanted to leave the memory of my absentee parents here and as much as I hate to admit it, I wanted to leave so I could avoid Erik," Serena said and she felt horrible just saying it because Erik meant everything to her. "I was becoming his mother instead of being his sister and I didn't want that responsibility."

"I get it," Nate said and Serena gave him a small smile for trying, she knew it took a lot for people who knew her story and her reasons not to judge her.

"Tripp was my escape," she said and Nate furrowed his eyebrows trying to figure out if he knew what she was talking about. "He was older than I was and he had the ability to change my life and my identity, by then my parents were back in my life and they were trying to be normal parents again but I didn't want them to just pretend like everything was ok, Dan and I were together but our relationship was rocky and my relationship with Tripp was so easy."

"What was the problem?" Nate asked leaning on the table and watching her.

"He was married," Serena said with a humorless laugh, looking away so she didn't see the disgust she knew would be on Nate's face. "I didn't love him, he was just my escape from this world and I loved the idea of him, he let me rebel against my parents the way I stupidly thought they needed for all the years they had been gone, I thought I'd be able to just leave but on the day we were supposed to leave, we got into an accident, he called 911 and moved me into the driver's seat so it looked as if I was driving.

"My parents were so angry, they covered everything up but I could see the disappointment in their eyes for such a long time after that," Serena said. "Tripp went back to his wife, Dan and I got back together shortly after that and my parents got over it, they just spoke to me once and they never mentioned it again, I thought they would use that when they were trying to get me to marry you."

"Why didn't you leave by yourself?" Nate asked.

"I don't know," Serena said shrugging. "I've always had something holding me back, I had Erik and I knew I could never leave him, when my parents finally came back I needed to make sure they wouldn't leave again, Erik can take care of himself now but I just don't know how to leave."

"Would you leave if someone gave you the opportunity now?" Nate asked leaning against the table, the expression on his face was unreadable to her.

"I would," she confirmed. "I've brought it up to Dan a lot of times, he keeps thinking that I'm joking but I really want to get out of this place for a while, find myself maybe, I don't even know, start over without any expectations, without having to act for the camera's."

Nate smiled when she said that and shook his head. "I think it's just the idea of leaving," Nate told her. "Sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side."

"Maybe," Serena said she knew Nate would understand her reasons for wanting to leave, she didn't really understand them herself, she just knew that she wanted to leave but she's always been too afraid to leave by herself.

"Are you ok?" Nate asked.

"Yeah, it's just … It's weird," Serena said. "This accident brought back so many unwanted feelings."

"Feelings that make you get up at one in the morning and scream like you just saw a ghost?" Nate asked and Serena laughed.

"I'm not usually that easily spooked," she said and the rubbed her eyes. "The light going off just shocked my sleepy mind."

"It's ok," Nate said and Serena wished she could talk to Dan as easily as she could talk to Nate.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Serena said tiredly, she didn't even notice Nate closing the distance between them until he took her hands in his.

"I know exactly what will make you feel better," he said smiling in the dim light still filtering out of the fridge into the kitchen, Nate switched the light outside the kitchen door on but the kitchen door swung shut after he ran in making it impossible for the light to really shine through.

"Oh really?" Serena asked raising an eyebrow because how could he possibly make her feel any better right now, the only thing that could make her feel better was sleep.

"Yes," he said smiling and Serena automatically smiled at his smile. "We are going to dance."

"Dance?" Serena asked the smile on her face widening at the sheer randomness of his thoughts. "There's no music and the only light we have is coming from the refrigerator."

"It could be like a spot light," he said bringing one of her hands up to his shoulder and gripping the other one in front of them.

"And music?" Serena asked with a slight giggle. "Can't dance without music."

"We don't need music," he said as he started to hum, Serena rolled her eyes when she realized he was humming their wedding song.

"Nate, my foot-" she started saying but he stopped her by pulling her closer to his body and she could feel the heat coming from his clothed chest. She chastised herself for wishing he didn't have a shirt on because that's not the way she should be thinking about her husband.

"Will be fine, if it hurts just let me support you," he whispered in her ear and Serena felt the goose bumps breakout all over her body. He was close, way too close but she couldn't help but enjoy it and want him to just stay that close.

"I can show you the world, shining, shimmering, splendid, tell me princess now when did you last let your heart decide…" Serena listened to him sing Aladdin's part of the song, completely mesmerized by his eyes and drawn in by his ability to make everything seem so simple and happy all the time.

Serena sang Jasmine's part of the song and blushed when she saw the look Nate gave her that said he was pleasantly surprised that she was actually singing with him and that he was happy she was smiling. They danced around the kitchen slowly, singing a Disney song completely off tune, with just the light from the refrigerator helping them navigate their way and Serena had never felt so relaxed, with Dan she had this standard that she had to live up to, that she made sure she lived up to, with Nate, he didn't have expectations of her, she didn't need him to like her she could just be herself.

"I feel like this was something out of a Taylor Swift song," Serena said giggling and leaning her head on Nate's shoulder as he swayed them.

"All romantic and sometimes really relatable and I sound exactly like a girl don't I?" Nate asked and Serena laughed and nodded holding on tighter as he spun them really quickly on the spot.

"You do," she said closing her eyes and pressing her face a little harder against his shoulder because the spin just caused her to feel dizzy. "Now we're dancing without music again."

"Does this feel that awkward?" Nate asked leaning back slightly to look at her and Serena realized that it really wasn't as weird as she thought it would be. "Are you ok?"

"Just a little dizzy," she said softly and he stopped moving completely.

"I forgot that you aren't supposed to move too quickly," he said looking at her a little sheepishly. "Do you want to go back up to your room?"

Serena looked up at him in the dim light and shook her head, her heart was beating way too fast and she was sure that wasn't good for her with the way her head was feeling right now but she was still pressed up against Nate's chest, she could feel him breathe, she could feel the muscles of his arms under her fingers and she could see his eyes flicker down to his lips and back to her eyes.

"You just want to stay in the dark kitchen?" Nate asked in a whisper and Serena smiled and bit her lip.

"No," she said almost inaudibly.

"Then do you want to move to the next room?" he asked amused at her answers. "Because I'm pretty sure we need to close that door if we don't want things to get spoiled."

"Ok, let's … let's move," Serena said her throat was dry again, Nate was making her feel jittery and nervous and she was enjoying it.

Nate stepped back and closed the refrigerator door so that everything went black and Serena jumped a little because she couldn't see anything, her hand was still firmly attached to Nate's arm and her eyes were adjusting. Nate used the arms she was holding to pull her in the direction of the door but she held her ground and he turned around and looked at her confused.

"Something wrong?" he asked and she could see his eyebrows furrowed in the dark.

The atmosphere in the room was electrifying, Serena could feel herself completely charged as she held onto Nate, stopping him from moving her. Serena felt her heart start to race a little faster as she pulled Nate toward her and let her lips find his in the dark. Their noses bumped and Serena giggled moving her face so that she could kiss Nate properly.

This kiss was so different from all the other ones that were planned and controlled, this one was electric, Serena could see the fireworks as their lips moved together. She stopped giggling the moment he responded to her kiss and Serena held onto him tighter, she felt his hands on her hips and let herself want him to touch her like he would if they were a real couple, if he didn't feel like he had to control every movement.

"Wow," Nate whispered when air became a problem and they had to pull away. Serena smiled as she closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his, they were both breathing heavily and Serena could feel her head swimming.

"Yeah, wow," Serena said and then felt like she was slapped in the face when the realization that she had cheated on Dan again struck her. She pushed herself away from Nate and covered her mouth, her lips moved as if she were going to say more but she couldn't, she could see Nate's eyes reflect what hers most probably held, panic. "I'm so sorry."

"No, don't apologize," he told her and she relaxed slightly. "I've been wanting to kiss you without anyone around for a while but I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Leave it to me then," Serena said with a nervous laugh, she was so glad that there were no lights and her expressions weren't something he could easily see. "I just … we … you know-"

"There's something here between us," Nate translated and Serena nodded.

"I've felt it for a while but I didn't want to," she admitted. "I didn't want to lead you on when there was no chance of us being together, but it looks like that plan has failed."

"What are you going to tell Dan?" Nate asked, he seemed to only remember at the moment that Serena had a boyfriend.

"I don't know," Serena said rubbing her head. "I don't even want to think about him right now."

Nate smiled at her and she smiled right back, she couldn't help but smile, she just kissed Nate Archibald for no other reason than the fact that she wanted to. "Come on we should get you back up to your room."

"Do you have to go to work in the morning?" Serena asked groaning slightly, she wanted to talk to Nate more about everything, her feelings and his and where they stand and what she should do with her life.

"I do," Nate said pulling her by her hands so that she'd follow him. "We can talk when I get back," he said after he saw her yawning.

When Serena finally got back into bed she kissed Nate good night and dug her pendent out from under the pillow to hold, she can't remember the last time she felt this excited about a kiss. Serena knew what she did was wrong but Dan barely entered her mind anymore, it didn't even feel like cheating, Nate was her husband and husband trumped boyfriend right?

Her life was so confusing, she knew she needed to talk to someone and she had just the person in mind but for the moment she was going to let herself finally get the sleep she needed.

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**A/N : I do not own Gossip Girl **

**The idea for the whole dancing in the dark kitchen came from the Taylor Swift song 'All too well' lol theres a line in there that I love it goes "We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light" so I had to use it in this story. I dont own that either **

**I know I took forever with this chapter, I've gotten enough reviews about it hehe I love that you guys love this story and that you wait for new chapters, I get it, I really do but I have other things that I need to do besides writing this, I have a life outside of Fanfiction, one that requires me to study and I am sorry about the wait for these chapters but please understand that I dont have that much time to write and I'm doing my best**

**I've been getting alot of unsigned Guest reviews lately and I really wanna know who you are so could you please put your name or alias when leaving your review, thank you, that'd be awesome hehe**

**This chapter explained something that I've been hinting at throughout the story, I changed the Tripp saga around a bit, Nate and Tripp have no connection in this story**

**The main story in this chapter sounds a little weak when I think about it but I thought it was perfect when I wrote it at first lol, I changed a few things to make it more believable and I hope I did a good job, please let me know if the story seems too crazy because i seriously think that Serena wants to get out of the UES that badly**

**Anyway please review and let me know what you think, thank you so much for all your feedback**

**Until Next Time (^^,)**


	11. Chapter 11

Serena sat on the couch staring at the end of a romantic movie that she wasn't even paying attention too, she was too busy thinking about how she woke up in the morning with a smile on her face, it took her a moment to realize that everything that happened earlier that morning was not actually a dream and that it was the first night in a long time that she had such a dreamless sleep, she told Nate about her past with Tripp and her accident and he made her dance to no music in the middle of their kitchen.

Her relationship with Tripp had been really complicated, she knew he was married when they began their affair and Serena thrived on the danger of it, he was heavily involved in politics and if their affair was ever revealed it would have been disastrous to both their futures. Her parents were trying to be the parents they were supposed to be when she needed them and Serena hated that they decided it was so easy to slip back into their parenting roles and that they wanted to try and control her so she took the offer to leave with Tripp when he asked her to, she wanted to leave the Upper East Side so badly, she wanted to start over.

She and Dan had just started out so they weren't really a couple yet but they were steadily moving in that direction until he found out about Tripp, he screamed at her, calling her selfish and childish and she took everything he said and left. She remembers feeling worthless when she packed her bags and got into that car, she remembers Tripp talking about what his wife said when he walked out the door and she remembers panicking because there was something in the middle of the road. After that it gets fuzzy, she knows the car crashed into a wall at the side of the road, she didn't know if Tripp managed to avoid the person or thing in the middle of the road, all she really knows is that her head hurts and she can hear sirens and see lights and when she looks for Tripp she can't find him.

She woke up in hospital the next day, her brother was sitting at her bed waiting for her. Her parents were in the room before the doctor and assured her that the entire ordeal would be buried and she had nothing to worry about. It was only when Dan came by later that day did she realize that Tripp called his wife and moved her so it looked as if she drove into a wall and disappeared. Her parents didn't speak to her for a while after that and Serena felt like she a little girl again waiting for her mom or dad to just comfort her. She and Dan reunited and she vowed to never leave him again, her parents came around after a while but made sure she knew that they were disappointed in her and she started turning her life around slowly.

It took her more than three years to trust that her parents were going to be there for her when she needed them, to finally feel like she could stand on the pedestal that Dan has always had her on and to believe that she may just belong in the Upper East Side.

She bit her lip hard, thinking about the fact that she just cheated on Dan again and how bad she felt about it. It was true that she didn't feel that their relationship wasn't at its best at the moment but that wasn't a good enough reason for her to cheat. On the other hand she was really falling for Nate and she was allowing herself to get caught up in their budding new romantic relationship. Nate was everything any girl could want in a guy, he was charming and sweet and you could never get tired of looking at him and Serena was really starting to feel things for him that rivaled anything she ever felt for Dan.

"We're a few days off our scheduled meeting time, so I assume you want to talk about something that isn't the weather?" Blair said when she found Serena. Serena shut the TV off and stood up, she waited for Blair to sit down before sitting again and putting a pillow on her lap.

"Thank you for coming Blair," Serena said with a smile. "I wasn't sure if you would."

"To be honest I wasn't going to but Nate convinced me," Blair said crossing her legs. "Why can't you leave the house yet? You look fine to me."

"I am but fast movements are still making me very dizzy so the doctor suggested I stay at home until our next appointment," Serena said twisting her wedding rings around her fingers.

"Its home now, is it?" Blair said with a knowing smile on her face and Serena looked up at her completely confused so Blair rolled her eyes and explained. "In every fake conversation we've had and every phone conversation I've heard, you have always referred to it as 'my temporary house' or 'that place' or 'where I stay for now' but you've never called it your home, until now."

"I haven't actually noticed that," Serena said Blair gave her a crooked smile.

"Nate sounded pretty happy this morning when I told him about your message," Blair said after a few minutes. "Would that have anything to do with why I'm here?"

"We kissed," Serena said and Blair raised an eyebrow. "Not like we do for the camera's, this time it was just us and it felt like it meant something."

"Did it?" Blair asked, tilting her head slightly to the side as she watched Serena.

"It did, I mean to me it meant something," Serena said thinking about the night before and smiling. "It felt like everything had fallen into place."

"I don't need all the gory details," Blair said closing her eyes and holding up a hand. "You want to know if you should break-up with your boyfriend."

"Well, no, not exactly," Serena said hesitantly, she had initially wanted to ask Blair that question but she was afraid to. "I just want to know from someone close to Nate what this might mean to him because I … I really think I might be falling for him."

"I'm sure I don't need to tell you that if you hurt him you will be answering to me," Blair said and Serena nodded obediently, Blair scared her sometimes. "I think you should talk to Nate about this instead of me but that kiss may have meant more to him then you realize."

"How so?" Serena asked, Nate said he wanted to do that for a while but it was probably just because he thought she was hot and he wanted to make the most out of this marriage thing, Nate was a sweet guy but he was also just that, a guy.

"Like I said, you should talk to Nate," Blair said gently. "If that's all, I have a dress to try on again."

"Oh, yeah I think so," Serena said getting up as Blair did. "I'm sorry if I pulled you away from the wedding plans."

"I rescheduled, my mother's designing it, the less time I spend with her, the better my sanity," Blair said walking out of the room but stopping at the door and turning back to her. "If you wanted my advice I would tell you to break up with the other guy and give Nate a chance, I can assure you won't have any regrets."

Serena nodded and smiled, "Thank you Blair, for everything."

Blair gave Serena what could have been considered a genuine smile before walking out and Serena sat down again thinking that maybe she and Blair could have conversations that don't require her commenting on the weather when they were together.

It was a little later that day that Nate sent her a text to say he was going to be working a little late because he had a meeting and she shouldn't wait up, Serena frowned and threw her phone onto her bed, she really wanted Nate to get home as soon as possible because she wanted to talk to him or kiss him again she couldn't be too sure. 'Home', she liked thinking about the huge townhouse as her home, it made her feel grown up to think that she had her own home away from her parents like she wanted with Dan all that time ago.

Serena decided that it was time to go back down to the TV room and find something to watch, surely that would be more productive than staring at the four walls in her room. She thought about calling her grandmother a few times to ask about the necklace but she didn't know if she wanted to know. A key rattled in the door before she could get to the room and Serena heart went into overdrive because Nate was coming back early and she was going to see him for the first time since their kiss.

When the door opened to reveal Dan, Serena didn't know how to hide her disappointment, she had a smile frozen on her face as he greeted her and started to tell her about his day, not realizing that inside she was in full panic mode. She completely forgot about Dan's afternoon visits and this was the thing she was supposed to be looking most forward to during this year, she nodded when she knew she needed to and wondered how she was going to survive this.

She knows that she told Blair that she was falling for Nate and Blair told her to break up with Dan but she just didn't know how to, she loved this boy for four years, that doesn't just go away because she's fake married to what could be the hottest man alive. Thinking about breaking up with Dan when she was with Nate was easy because Nate evaded all of her senses and stopped the part of her brain that usually reminded her that things are easier said than done from working.

"I don't think Jenny really understands what she's getting herself into with these mean girls," Dan finished and Serena looked at him from the other side of the couch. "You'll speak to her won't you?"

"Yeah of course I will," Serena said, she didn't know what Jenny was doing exactly but she was part of the mean girls in high school, they could be much different now than they were back then.

"You seem a little distant, is everything ok?" Dan asked watching her closely.

"I think we need to talk," Serena said somberly, she didn't know how to do this, Dan was her first real relationship and she had no idea how to end something like that.

"What about?" Dan asked sitting up a little straighter and knitting his eyebrows together and Serena could see the panic in his eyes and nervousness in the way her rubbed his hands together, almost as if he knew what she was thinking.

"About that shirt," Serena said in a fake haughty tone and Dan laughed, obviously relieved that what she was about to say was so jovial. Serena was so close to breaking up with him but she couldn't, she knew she had to do this to avoid hurting him more in her need to get closer to Nate, it wasn't like it was even her choice anymore, she just gravitated to him every time he was around. "It's Hawaiian, we're in New York and it's not even summer."

"No, it isn't," he said slowly and then laughed. "I'm sorry, for a moment there I thought you were going to break up with me."

Serena smiled, biting her tongue because she was about to say 'for a moment there, so was I' and that wouldn't have been a conversation she was ready for yet. "Why … why would you think that?"

"You were acting sketchy," Dan said and Serena smiled uncomfortably, she didn't know how to say it, she had to break-up with him soon, she could not string him on like this, she was not that kind of girl, she didn't want to be that kind of girl, she didn't want to be a cheater again. One of her two relationships had to end today, she was not going to lose herself.

* * *

Serena sat curled on the couch her chin rested on her knees and her arms wrapped around her shins, hugging her legs closer to her body, facing away from the door when Nate finally came back to the house.

"Hey I know I'm late but my meeting ended later than I anticipated and I have take-out," Nate called out and Serena nodded, bumping her chin onto her knees. "Am I talking to myself?"

She almost smiled as she pictured him putting the bag on the table and going for the stairs when he saw her sitting in the lounge. Serena stared at the wall, still bumping her chin on her knees as he walked closer to her, she listened to his footsteps coming closer until it came to a stop behind her and she froze.

"Hi," she heard him breathe into her ear and she closed her eyes and shivered, pulling her legs in tighter to her body. "Brought you flowers."

Serena opened her eyes to see a bouquet of flowers in his hands being held out to her as he walked around the couch to take a seat next to her. "They're beautiful," Serena said with tears in her eyes, taking the flowers and bringing them to her nose. "Thank you."

"I wouldn't have gotten them if I thought they'd make you upset," Nate said with a slight chuckle and Serena shook her head and laughed.

"It's a good kind of upset," she said and then paused because no, that made no sense. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm saying."

"It's ok, I do," Nate said giving her a cocky smile and leaning back against the couch comfortably. "I didn't know what you liked so I just got the one that looked pretty."

"Usually men like to buy red roses for their wives, it's the rose of love," Serena said giving him a coy smile, knowing full well that she just made that up even though it could be true. The fact that she just called herself his wife like that made her feel giddy. "But _my_ favorite flowers are sunflowers, not very usual but I like the sun and they remind me of the sun."

"Red roses and sunflowers," Nate repeated. "I'll remember that."

"I'm counting on it," Serena said touching the petals of the soft pink and white flowers. "I'm doing to put this is a vase, I'll be back now."

"I'll be waiting," Nate said and Serena smiled and got up to get a vase and fill it with water. She smiled to herself as she set the flowers in the vase and leaned in to smell the sweet fragrance again, Nate was the perfect, that's the only way she could describe him, perfect.

Serena walked back to the other room and placed the vase on a table next to where she was sitting and went to take her place again, in the seat next to hers Nate had his eyes closed and he looked like he was sleeping so Serena just stood there and watched his chest rise and fall rhythmically, she was trying to find the perfect words to say when he spoke again.

"I can feel you watching me," he said, his lips curling into a smile as he slowly opened his eyes. "Like what you see?"

"You have no idea," Serena said biting her lip to stop her smile from getting too big.

Nate chuckled and held his hand out to her, Serena shook her head and sat down on the other end of the couch facing him. "You look serious."

"I am serious," Serena said rubbing her face and pulling her knee's to her chest again and looked away from Nate. "We have to talk."

"Ok, now you're making me nervous," he said sitting up so he could properly face her and Serena looked away from him and back at the wall she was staring at for most of the afternoon.

"I um, I spoke to Dan today when he came over after school," Serena said and Nate tensed his body for a second relaxing it before she realized it seemed but she already caught his reaction and she knew she was about to make it worse. "I couldn't break up with him-"

"So what does that mean for us?" Nate asks impatiently, cutting her off.

* * *

**A/N : I know you guys probably hate me right now because I havent updated for such a long time and how this chapter ended and I am sooooooo so sorry**

**Thank you for your patience, this chapter was supposed to come to you last week but I finished my cap last week which basically meant that I was internetless until this morning. Worst week of my life! The good thing is that I have most of the next chapter done as well and I will post that early next week. **

**These past few weeks have also been getting myself back into studying and omg I dont know why it's so hard to start studying again after a 3 months break lol it wasnt even that long but I'm getting back in there and finding some balance with my writing so you should hate my updating skills less in the coming weeks**

**Thank you to everyone for the amazing reviews, I'm truely blown away by the response that this story is getting so please review this chapter adn let me know what you think about it :)**

**I miss GG, I keep wanting new episodes but then I think about the DS it would have and change my mind lol anyway I hope you guys are well, thank you again for the response to this story and please review and let me know what you think about the latest chapter **

**Until Next Time(^^,)**

****Oh and I hit 100 reviews with the 9th chapter, I was supposed to thank you guys in the last post but I'm probably the most forgetful person ever so before I forget, thank you so much for getting me to such a milestone this early in my story you guys are the best**


	12. Chapter 12

"So what does that mean for us?" Nate asks drawing in a deep breath and looking at her and she could see he was waiting for the worst.

Serena pressed her lips together and shimmied over to him, "If you didn't interrupt me I would have said that I couldn't break up with him _the first time_," Serena said watching Nate's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"The first time?" he asked turning to face her, his body relaxing the closer she got to him.

"It took me a few tries before I could finally tell him about us," she said and Nate smiled wide and put an arm around her.

"There's an 'us' now?" he asked jokingly bumping their shoulders together.

"Oh haven't you heard?" she asked jokingly back, taking his left hand and touching his wedding band. "We're a _married_ us."

"Wow," Nate said dragging out the word and lacing the fingers of his left hand with one of hers, letting his eyes rest on their joined hands before asking the next question. "So, you did break up with him on one of the tries right?"

"Yes," Serena said smiling as his need to have her all to himself. "I told him that I like you more."

"Ouch, how'd he take that?" he asked, their voices still playful as they discussed Serena and Dan's break-up.

"It wasn't pretty," Serena said moving a little closer to Nate so she could rest her head on his shoulder and pull his arm tighter around her. "I tried to explain but he kept going on about how we'll never work and I got a few choice words and gave me back his key, it was _not_ pretty."

"I'm sorry," Nate said turning his face so his forehead was pressed against the side of her head and he could speak softly into her ear. "Do you want me to pay him a visit and make him take those choice words back?"

"No," Serena breathed, all she wanted was what she had right now, to be this comfortable and this close to Nate. "I want you to stay exactly where you are."

"I won't move a muscle," Nate said and Serena giggled.

"Do you think we're rushing into this?" she asked closing her eyes, it felt as if she knew Nate forever and that this relationship was so right but Dan brought it up earlier and she was getting paranoid.

"We're married," Nate said chuckling and picking up their hands to show her their wedding rings. "We couldn't have moved any faster."

"You know what I mean," Serena said using her free hand to slap his thigh. "We only met like 6 months ago, and we only started talking like two weeks ago, before I got into that stupid accident."

"_You_ only realized we started talking two weeks ago before your 'stupid' accident," Nate reminded her. "I've been talking to you since we met, just hoping that you'd notice me."

"I was trying not to notice you," Serena said tilting her face so she could look into his eyes, she never expected that her trying to keep away from him for the sake of her relationship with Dan had any effect on him. "Your eyes have the ability to render me speechless."

"Well I think that's a good thing," he said bumping their noses together. "Makes it easier to keep you quiet so I can do this."

Nate touched her chin with his hand so he could kiss her and Serena could feel the warm tingling feeling run through her body, from her lips all the way down to her toes. She turned her body so she could wrap her arm around his shoulders and hold onto him, she shivered when she felt his hand on her face.

They broke apart when they heard Nate's stomach growl, Serena bit her lip to hold back her giggles and Nate's face turned a bright shade of red. "I'm sorry," he said looking down to where the noise came from and then back up at her, shrugging sheepishly.

"Are you hungry?" Serena asked smiling up at him and Nate's face got redder, he was so embarrassed.

"Don't laugh at me," he protested when a few giggles escaped her lips. "I was waiting to get home and eat with you so I haven't eaten yet."

"Come on, let's go find you something to eat," she said putting her feet onto the floor and standing. She took a step forward and turned to find Nate still seated with a smile on his face.

"We don't need to find anything, I bought food on the way back," Nate said still smiling at the expectant look on her face. "It's on the counter."

"Well I hope you aren't waiting for me to bring it to you," Serena said putting her hands on her hips and frowning.

"I was just watching you," he said holding his hands up in surrender.

"Hmmm," Serena said smirking and then turning and walking toward the kitchen, adding a little extra bounce when she walked for his benefit, laughing to herself when she heard him whistle and get up to follow her.

"I think we should take this slow," Serena said when they were sitting across from each other at the dinner table. "I don't want to rush into this and watch it crash and burn."

"It doesn't have to crash and burn if we keep our speed," Nate said and Serena shot him a look. "Slow it is," he agreed just to make her happy.

"I've been in relationships where we've never taken a moment to breathe and they never worked out," Serena said picking at her food. "I don't want us to be like that."

"None of those guys were me," Nate pointed out and Serena sighed.

"Please," she said giving him her best pleading face knowing that he was already going to agree to whatever she said. "I know they weren't you but we kissed for the first time yesterday and I broke up with my boyfriend of four years this afternoon, I need slow right now, ok?"

"Ok," Nate said with a nod of his head, reaching out to take her hand in his. "You control it, I'm just happy we're together, well together without the camera's, that makes you my girlfriend doesn't it?"

"It does, even though I'm also your wife," Serena said slowly because she was a little confused and not entirely sure about what she just said. "We are just really complicated."

"We just went in a different order, marriage and then dating," Nate said interlacing their fingers. "We'll figure it out, together."

Serena squeezed his hand and smiled, she was glad he was so understanding, it was one of the reasons she loved him. 'Love? Already?' she asked herself, Nate had moved on to talking about work while she panicked inside, she had no idea how deep her feelings for Nate ran, she only allowed herself to feel more for him that morning, she knew it couldn't be at love yet, it just couldn't but yet here she was sitting across the table from him laughing at some ridiculous story he was telling her and completely lost in his eyes.

* * *

A few weeks later they were both shirtless on the couch, Nate on top of her, making out like they were teenagers when the door opened and Chuck and Blair walked in dressed to the nines and ready to go out.

"Oh my God," Blair shrieked turning away from them. "Put some clothes on Archibald's."

"Well isn't this interesting," Chuck said as Nate got up and grabbed his shirt from the armrest and covered Serena who had her arms folded across her chest and her eyes closed because they did not just get caught by Nate's best friends.

"Not interesting at all," Nate bit out as he looked around for Serena's blouse. "What are you guys doing here?"

"It's been a while since we spoke Nathaniel and even longer since we went on a double date," Chuck said handing Nate Serena's blouse and smirking. "Now that this is 'real', it should be less … scripted, so much more fun."

"Couldn't you have called first?" Nate asked, obviously irritated by the intrusion. Serena held her top to her chest and looked at Chuck pointedly as Nate continued to hold his shirt around her, Chuck just looked back at her oblivious to what she expected him to do.

"What?" he asked and Serena looked to Nate for help because she was still too embarrassed to say anything.

"Turn around and don't look Chuck Bass," Blair growled turning her fiancée forcefully away from the blonds and Serena used the opportunity to quickly pull her blouse over her head. "I don't need to see your body either Nate."

Nate stuck his tongue out at Blair as he put his shirt back on and buttoned it up, Serena looked straight ahead and hoped her face wasn't as red as she thought it was.

"I assume you're both decent now," Chuck said turning around to look at them.

"Are these couches safe?" Blair asked wearily eyeing the other couch and Nate rolled his eyes.

"Of course they are Blair," Nate said and Chuck pulled her to sit down with him.

"Where do you want to go tonight?" Serena asked clearing her throat when her voice sounded strained and smoothing her hair back.

"Butter," Chuck said rubbing his hands together. "I already made a booking so you can't back out."

"We won't back out," Nate said wrapping his arm around Serena. "As long as Blair doesn't interrogate Serena."

"Oh you make me sound so scary," Blair said shaking her head and Nate laughed at her.

"Blair, you are scary," he said pulling Serena to sit back on the couch more comfortably against him. "Don't even _try_ to tell us otherwise."

"Don't even _try_ to act like you aren't happy my scary got rid of Sage," Blair said pointedly and Nate laughed and then turned to Serena.

"Sage was this girl I kinda dated a few years back," Nate said filling her in and rubbing her arm slowly. "She was really … hyper."

"Hyper," Blair scoffed. "She was clingy and she annoyed anyone she came into contact with," Blair told her exasperatedly.

"Don't look so worried," Chuck said when he saw the uncomfortable look on Serena's face. "There won't be any interrogations tonight … At least not until the second round."

"Ok," Serena said slowly. "Not exactly reassuring."

"We're going to be late if you two don't get ready now," Blair said clapping her hands together. "Chop chop."

"What's wrong with what we're wearing," Serena asked looking at herself and then over at her husband. "Nate's got a suit on and I'm not exactly dressed for a day inside the house."

"We're going to _Butter_," Blair said emphasizing the name of the restaurant. "You live here so you of all people should know the dress code."

"Ok, we'll change," Nate said standing and pulling Serena up with him. "I'm not in the mood to argue with Blair."

"Don't take too long," Chuck said with a knowing voice and Serena rolled her eyes because of course that's where Chuck's mind would be.

Serena slipped into a dress suitable for the Manhattan night life and touched up her make up before walking into Nate's room and leaning against the door. They were staying in different rooms for now, trying to date under their unique circumstances, meant sleeping in their own rooms and going as far as making out on the couch.

"Interrogations?" Serena asked quietly watching Nate from the doorway.

"She won't interrogate you," Nate said chuckling as he grabbed his blazer from the chair. "She already knows you, if this was the first time you met then we'd have a problem."

"Not helping," Serena said as Nate walked toward her, remembering how hostile Blair was when they first met and Nate asking her to save 'it' for another day, what if she planned on that day being now?

"_You _can handle yourself," Nate said taking her face in his hands and kissing her gently. "Don't worry so much."

"I'm your girlfriend now," Serena said pulling him closer by the lapels of his shirt. "That means that I have to make a good impression."

"Chuck thinks you're cool and Blair will love you if you just relax a little," Nate said wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her to the stairs. "Just be yourself."

It was only when they were past their third tequila shot that Serena actually started to relax and let herself be a part of their group, she let herself act like she was always part of their group. She joked with Chuck and sided with Blair against the boys and kissed Nate just because she wanted too and she really enjoyed herself and the company she was in for the first time since they all met.

"You guys are being mean to me, I'm leaving," Blair said standing, wobbling and grabbing onto Chuck for support. "Well that was graceful."

"I don't think you're going anywhere," Nate said reaching across the table to take her cocktail glass.

"No," Blair said smacking his hand before he touched it. "If you touch my drink there will be consequences."

"But you aren't coming back so how will you know," Nate joked and Blair glared at him letting go of Chuck and immediately grabbing him again when she felt like she was going to fall.

"Ok so maybe I deserve to be made fun of," Blair said sitting back down.

"You? Never," Chuck said and Blair leaned over to kiss him.

"You ok?" Nate asked Serena softly when he realized Serena was just watching them and not saying anything and Serena nodded as her hand found his under the table.

"You worry too much," she said with a smile, interlacing their fingers and squeezing his hand.

They two couples spoke well into the night, laughing at each other's stories and feeling like Serena's always been part of the group, eventually the manager politely asked them to leave so that they could close up.

Nate had a happy look on his face when Serena and Blair hugged each other when they said bye and laughed as Blair drunkenly jumped into his arms, Serena watched him shake Chuck's hand and wave them off before opening the door for her and helping her inside. Serena waited for him to get in and immediately attached herself to his side, closing her eyes and feeling her head swim from the alcohol she had that night.

"Are you asleep?" Nate asked and Serena smiled against his chest.

She opened her eyes to look at him and blinked the sleep from her eyes. "Not yet," she said picking her head up so Nate could kiss her. "Are we home yet?"

"Almost," Nate said rubbing her arm, and Serena closed her eyes again, adjusting herself so she was closer to Nate and more comfortable at the back on the cab.

She felt the cab come to a stop and she felt Nate pick her up and she buried her nose into his shirt as he carried her and remember that this was almost exactly what happened on their wedding night. He carried her all the way up to her room and lay her on the bed before slipping off her shoes and Serena remembered wanting to give him the necklace sitting under her pillow but then sitting down on the bed next to her and pushing her hair back and she forgot all about it.

"How are you still standing?" Serena asked sleepily.

"Chuck and I didn't have as much as you and Blair," Nate said chuckling. "Go to sleep, I'll be in my room if you need me ok."

"Ok," Serena whispered with a smile holding his arm and pulling him down for a lazy kiss goodnight. Nate stood up and walked slowly to the door. "Nate," she murmured opening her eyes to see him chuckling at her refusal to go to sleep. "I think I'm in love with you."

* * *

**A/N : Hey guys how was this chapter? I know I tricked you with that last chapter but this was the plan all along, I wanted to see how you would react to more of Serena's indesicion hehe I couldnt write any more DS so welcome to the wonderful world of NS, it only took like 12 chapters lol I apologise for that, I didnt realize how much I wanted to fit into this story but yey for NS and an NJBC night even though Serena wasnt always apart of that and was a little uncomfortable at first**

**I'm so glad all of you liked the previous chapter, I thought I'd get screamed at more for the last part hehe but you guys are so awesome and nice to me, I have the best reviewers hehe **

**I have started a new glee story and I know I have no time to do two stories but I felt really strongly about the last episode and so I had to write that, dont worry though, this story is on the top of my list, I just thought I'd let you know that I'm not abandoning this story or spending anymore time on the glee story, I hope that makes you feel better if anyone was worried**

**The necklace will be revealed to Nate soon, it probably isnt as important as alot of you are hoping it is but its going to stop being tucked away in Serena's pillow in one of the next few chapters.**

**Please review and let me know what you think about this chapter, it was so fun to write :D**

**Until Next Time(^^,)**


	13. Chapter 13

"We have no ice-cream," Serena said twisting her mouth and looking at the freezer as if it would suddenly produce a carton of ice-cream for her to dig into. "How is this possible?"

Annoyed she closed the freezer door and turned around to find Nate staring at her, he'd gotten back from work a while ago and he followed her into the kitchen watching her dig in the cupboards and fridge for anything sweet.

"What?" she asked mentally checking off everything that could possibly be wrong with her. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No, your face is perfect," he said reaching forward to grab her hand and pull her toward him. "I just like looking at it."

"You're so sweet and corny at the same time," she said with a mocking smile and Nate frowned so she kissed him. "Don't pout, it messes up your pretty face."

"Aha," Nate said distracted by her lips. "How was your day?"

"Oh you know the usual, class, assignment, test, break and repeat," Serena said groaning. "Nothing too exciting _but_ I have to study now so … distract me later," she said touching his nose and grabbing her bottled water from the counter.

"But I want to distract you now," Nate said and Serena smiled leaning forward to kiss him, figuring she'll just give him one last kiss before she gets back to her books.

"No, _later_," she protested feebly as Nate kissed her again. "You don't play fair."

Nate chuckled as he played with the hem of her shirt, "I never claimed to."

"We're in the kitchen," Serena whispered when she caught on to what he was doing.

"So?" he asked gripping her hips and hoisting her onto the counter and standing between her legs.

"Cooking here is going to be really weird," Serena said even as she undid the knot of the tie Nate had around his neck.

"But we never cook in here," Nate said softly, kissing her neck and Serena felt the butterfly's fluttering in her stomach the way they never failed to flutter when she was kissing Nate.

"I think that should change," Serena said and Nate abruptly stopped what he was doing to look at her face. "That wasn't code for stop."

"I know … you want to cook?" he asked with his brows furrowed.

"Yes, is it such a crime for me to want to at least learn," Serena asked a little touchily, thinking back to when she told Dan she wanted to cook and he laughed in her face like it was a joke. "Just because I'm privileged doesn't mean that I can't do it."

"I didn't say you couldn't," Nate said with a smile, squeezing her hips to let her know it wasn't meant the way she took it. "I just … the last time we were at your parents for dinner you made it clear that you will never cook."

"That was for their benefit," Serena said rolling her eyes she didn't even know if her parents knew that she and Nate were really together and not just pretending for the press anymore. "My mother would never let it go if I gave her a hint of me wanting to cook, she'd make me do the Thanksgiving spread and then I'll get judged if I don't do it right."

"But you're forgetting that you have someone who can do all of that and your mother doesn't even need to know how little you helped," Nate said and Serena smiled she had almost forgotten that he loved to cook, especially since he hadn't cooked her anything since they got married. "I'll teach you."

"You will?" Serena asked with a childlike enthusiasm and Nate laughed. "Ah you're amazing."

"I know I am," Nate said and Serena rolled her eyes at his smugness.

"But now I really have to study," Serena said pushing his hair out of his face and Nate scrunched his nose up.

"Do you really?" Nate asked moving forward to kiss her and Serena help a finger up to his lips.

"No, no more distractions," she said shaking her head and Nate frowned. "I refuse to fail because my husband can't keep his lips to himself."

"That my dear is the best reason to fail," Nate said wiggling his eyebrows at her and Serena laughed and shook her head.

"You are crazy," she said pinching his cheeks and jumping of the counter before he made her stay. "I'll be upstairs, call Chuck I'm sure he'll be happy to keep you company."

Serena sat at her desk and stared at the pages in front of her, it was only then that she really thought of Dan, he always helped her study, a lot of the time he was more her study buddy then he was her boyfriend but it was always a huge help when there was someone else helping you. She grabbed her phone and looked through her messages, ever since they broke up he'd been messaging her, wanting to talk and wanting another chance. Serena hadn't replied and she wasn't going to but she just felt bad for ignoring someone who had been such a huge part of her life.

What she felt worse about was the fact that she had been lying to Nate, it wasn't really lying since he never asked and she never told him, she was pretty sure she was in love with Nate and she knew he had strong feelings for her and she didn't want to mess that up by mentioning Dan. Dan was her ex and he was going to stay that way, the only other person who knew was Erik, Serena knew that she should at least speak to Nate about it but he just seemed so happy that she didn't want to mess that up, it also didn't help that every time she looked into his eyes she was lost and she couldn't think straight, the effect they had on her not fading even as she got used to looking at them.

She knew Dan wouldn't say anything about the way her and Nate's relationship started because he wanted to stay in her good books, she knew her secrets were safe with him for now but she couldn't explain how she knew that to Blair without telling her about the messages and Serena just needed to keep that to herself. She didn't want Blair to tell Nate and have it be a big thing. She knew keeping secrets was dangerous but that was when Gossip Girl was still active and focused on her, right now she gossip blog had been posting very few stories, none of which had anything to do with Serena since her wedding day.

Serena sighed as she flipped through her textbook, she chose so many of her courses to be closer to Dan, they were things that he did before her so he could help her easily and she'd understand him and the things he was so passionate about better but now it was just a whole lot of work that she wasn't really interested in and it bored her. She had started a new chapter in her life but she didn't want to just quit, she figured she'd deal with the rest of the semester and change to something that suited her in the New Year.

* * *

Serena ran into the house after her test, it was pouring outside and she was soaking wet. She pushed open the door and ran into the foyer, wondering why she never remembered to take an umbrella when she knew how the weather was going to be. She dropped her bag onto the floor and looked around the quiet house.

"Nate?" she called, when she realized that the house was empty and he was usually back from work at this time. Serena peeled her coat off and looked up in time to see him coming down the stairs with a towel in his hands.

"Hi," he said pecking her and handing over the towel. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day to you too," she said with a huge smile leaning in for a longer kiss and Nate stopped her making her pout.

"You're freezing," he said pulling her toward the stairs. "You should get yourself out of these clothes and put something nice on."

"Nice?" Serena asked and then looked at his black suit and gelled hair and raised an eyebrow. "You have plans."

"We have plans," he said pushing her up the stairs. "I'm not saying anything until you're dry and warm. Now go."

Serena frowned at him but rolled her eyes and ran up to her room, she used the towel to quickly towel dry her hair and body after she got the rest of her clothes off. She shivered as she opened her cupboard to pull out a pretty dress that would pass for Nate's idea of nice. Serena bit her lip as she wondered what he had planned for her, they were both really busy, 'The Spectator' brought in a new journalist and Nate was trying to fit him in without disrupting the flow he had going already and she had her tests so neither of them had the time to think about their first Valentine's Day, at least that's what she thought.

Serena looked at her heels and wondered if he's miss them but then she decided she wanted to look her best, Serena smiled giddily as she touched up her makeup and made her way back downstairs. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves as she descended the final step and looked around, the lights were off and it was dark out, she hadn't realized how dark it had gotten outside while she was changing.

"Nate?" she called like she did when she first got into the house and frowned when she got no reply again, she looked back up at the stairs almost expecting him to coming down to greet her. She saw a flicker of light out of the corner of her eye and whirled around to look for it, it was coming from the dining room so Serena walked toward it slowly, frowning because the least Nate could have done was told her where to meet him.

Serena opened the door and gasped at what she saw, she put her hands on her cheeks and bit her lip as she looked around. The room was lit with the light from a lot of candles, the sound of the rain making this seem like something out of a movie, the table had rose petals on it and two place settings, a bottle of wine lay in a bed of ice next to the table and bouquet of red roses sat on one of the plates which she assumed was hers.

Serena felt his presence behind her before she felt his arms go around her waist, she leant back so she was leaning on him and he kissed her head, holding up a single red rose in front of her. "Will you be my valentine?" Nate whispered and Serena nodded accepting the rose and tilting her head so she could kiss him properly.

"When did you have time to do all of this?" she asked looking around the room again and resting one of her hands over his on her waist, she brought the rose up to her nose and smiled really wide.

"I only worked for half the day," he said chuckling and Serena nodded remembering him leaving in the morning while she was still in bed, she had late classes and an afternoon test so she could sleep in, he kissed her goodbye but she barely woke up to say bye. "It's our first Valentine's day together, I thought I should make an effort to make it a little special."

"It's perfect," Serena chocked out, realizing for the first time that she had tears in her eyes. "I can't believe you did all of this."

Serena turned around to kiss him deeply, pressing herself against him and cradling his cheek in her hand. "Come on," Nate said kissing her a few more times before leading her over to the table and pulling out her chair to sit down. He took the wine and poured her a glass and Serena could not wipe the smile of her face if she wanted to, this was more than she ever imagined Nate would do for her.

"I can't believe you cooked," she said as she finished her main course. "Now you have to teach me."

"I told you I would," he said leaning back in his chair and taking a sip of his wine.

"I don't think I'm going to be able to stop smiling," Serena said and Nate smiled at her.

"This was supposed to happen on my boat," Nate said chuckling and putting his glass down.

"You have a boat?" Serena asked raising an eyebrow, she keeps forgetting how much she doesn't know about him.

"Yeah, it was my dad's, I've never taken it out to sea but it's around," Nate said shrugging. "I had a party on it once, that didn't really turn out so well."

"What happened?" Serena asked.

"One of my friends had a little too much to drink and he tried to impress one of the girls," Nate said looking away from her as he remembered what had happened. "I don't even know how he managed it but he fell overboard."

Serena gasped and covered her mouth with her hands to cover her giggles.

"Thankfully we had a few sober swimmers who were kind enough to rescue him," Nate said laughing with her and shaking his head at as he thought of his friend's stupidity. "Anyway I would have loved to have taken you on it but the weather was not in our favor."

As if proving his point there was a loud clap of thunder and Serena immediately cringed and looked up as if she could see the sky through the ceiling. "Maybe you can take me another day," Serena said resting her elbow on the table and propping her head on it to stare at Nate. "I'd love to see it."

"We'll go this weekend," Nate said almost giddy at the thought of showing her one of his favorite hideouts. "Are you ready for desert?"

"Always," Serena said giving him a look as if to say 'Is that even a question?' Nate laughed and got up, leaning over to take her plate before disappearing into the kitchen. He came back on and placed something in front of her, the name of which completely escaped her as soon as he kissed her like he had every time he placed something in front of her, all she knew was that it was chocolate and she was in heaven.

"So I wanted to tell you something," Nate said and Serena looked up at him, raising an eyebrow at the almost nervous look on his face. "It's just … I've been thinking."

"About?" Serena asked gently prodding because that was not the end of that sentence, she took a sip of her wine and waited for him to continue.

"Do you remember what you said to me on the night we went out with Chuck and Blair?" he asked and Serena furrowed her brows confused, she remembers getting on with Blair and shooters and Chuck's jokes and Nate teasing the other couple but she doesn't remember exactly what she said or did that night.

"Before or after Blair thought she could persuade the waiter to strip for us?" Serena asked and Nate put his head down and shook his head as she laughed at the memory.

"After, it was just you and me," Nate said reaching over to take her hand and Serena shivered at the contact. "You said something and I've been trying to figure out whether you meant it or not."

Serena blushed and ducked her head down as subtly as possible, she remembered it clearly she told him she though she loved him, she sobered up almost immediately after that, pretending to be asleep so that he wouldn't ask her and she would have to say any more until she was ready too. She knows it was on his mind for a while after that because every time she said the word love he'd look at her with this expression on his face like he was trying to figure her out and it always made her smile to know that maybe he wanted it to be true.

"Serena?" he asked bringing her out from her thoughts, he squeezed her hand and smiled at her. "I don't know if you were supposed to tell me that or if you even meant it."

Serena was about to open her mouth and tell him that she did mean it, she's been falling in love with him since they met.

"But I have to tell you that I love you," he said and Serena's breath caught in her throat, her mouth open to say something back but she couldn't get a word out. "I know we've only known each other half a year and that's a short time but there's something about you, from the moment I met you I felt it and I never want to let that feeling go, Serena you're the most beautiful, amazing, alive person I've ever met and this is not the first time I've said this and it definitely won't be the last."

"Nate," Serena said staring at him with shock frozen on her face. "I … I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," he said rubbing circles on her skin with his thumb. "I just wanted you to know where I stand and how I feel and I know you feel something too but it doesn't have to be love yet."

"No," Serena suddenly said shaking her head rapidly. "It is, I mean I do, Nate … I love you."

She didn't know why but it was like a weight lifted off her as she finally told him how she felt, because she finally validated the feeling she's had since her accident. Nate got up and captured her lips with his, a smile plastered on his face and Serena smiled back wrapping her arms around his neck as he picked her up and spun her around.

"You do?" he asked when he pulled away.

"Of course I do," she said reaching down to take his hands in hers, Nate looked at her confused as she blew out the candles that survived the night and pulled him in the darkness to her room. She pushed him onto the bed and undid the zip of her dress and letting it fall in front of him, smirking at the way his eyes bulged at the sight of her.

"Are you sure?" he asked hooking his fingers under the band of her underwear. Serena felt the butterflies take over her stomach because she wanted this so badly.

"Way sure."

* * *

**A/N : Happy Valentines Day!**

**Hey guys I hope you loved this chapter, I wrote it in one night because I realised that i hadnt updated and I was so busy with my assignments that I didnt have time to write but it's a long chapter so you cant be too mad at me for updating late hehe **

**It's 1 in the morning and I have no idea what I'm writing so if there are any mistakes please let me know as soon as possible so I can correct it really quick. **

**I think Nate is perfect, dont you guys think he is too lol I write him as the perfect man because he kind of was in the show and I can imagine him doing something like this, I hope it wasnt too unrealistic**

**Thank you to for the Erik idea, I wanted to put that in here but I realized that its valentines day and this would be cuter hehe I will have him interact with her family soon though**

**Thank you guys so much for the amazing reviews on the last chapter and I'm glad you guys loved the trick hehe please review adn let me know what you think about this chapter, I'm going to sleep before I completely burn out so sweet dreams **

**Until Next time (^^,)**


	14. Chapter 14

Serena stretched as she woke up the next morning, smiling to herself as she turned and pushed her nose into the warm body next to her. She sighed happily, shifting so she was closer to him and froze slightly as his chest rumbled. She picked her head up and opened one eye to find him staring at her, chuckling and running his fingers through the bottom of her hair, just under her breast.

"Good morning," he said kissing her softly and Serena purred appreciatively, closing her eyes again and wrapping her arms around his body. "You sound like you had a good night."

"'Twas magical," she replied sleepily smiling as he tugged at her hair playfully.

"Oh really?" he asked kissing her temple and then her closed eyelids and her nose and finally her lips.

"'M trying to sleep baby," she said reaching up to pat his lips, keeping her eyes closed. "It's too early to be awake."

"I have to be at work in half an hour," Nate whispered gently biting her finger and Serena giggled, automatically withdrawing her hand and bringing it to rest on his chest between them.

"You're the boss," she mumbled refusing to open her eyes. "Take the day of."

"I have a meeting with Grandfather today," Nate said taking her hand off his chest and interlinking their fingers.

"Exactly, tell him it's my fault, he loves me," she said with a smile, she doesn't really know how the old man feels about her but he wouldn't have set up their fake marriage if he didn't. "Just stay in bed all day…"

She trailed off, not suggestively but because she was in the state of mind where she was just coming out of sleep, her brain was too tired to let her speak very well. She heard and felt Nate laugh and smiled to herself because this was how she wanted to wake up each morning. "Erik's coming over for dinner, didn't you want to try to cook for him?" he asked and Serena frowned, can't he just let her enjoy this moment.

"No, Janie is coming over later to cook, I'm too happy to move, you shouldn't take my happiness away by moving either," she said with a smile, she couldn't tell what Nate's reaction was because her eyes were still closed but she could feel him smile by how close they were.

"Ok I won't," he said adjusting his pillow so he was more comfortable. "But even if I do, you can't be mad at me, _especially_ not after last night."

Serena blushed and finally opened both her eyes to look at him, "What happened last night?" she asked innocently.

Nate growled playfully and frowned overdramatically, "Oh you really don't remember?" he asked taking his hands off her body and stared at her.

Serena rolled her eyed at him and reached out to pull his hands back toward her smiling because that felt much better, "I love you."

"What was that?" Nate asked rolling her over and hovering above.

"I. Love. You," she said kissing him after every word.

Nate smiled wide and whispered, "I love you too," before attacking her lips with his.

She felt him move the sheet that was trapped between them when he stopped and separated his lips from hers. Serena opened her eyes and furrowed her brows, her lips still in a pout from the kiss because what just happened. "Nate?" she asked when he rolled off her and sat up on the side of the bed.

"Where did you get this?" he asked in a distracted voice, holding up the diamond blue necklace she'd hidden underneath her pillow case so no-one would find it. Serena froze and swallowed hard as she watched him inspect the pendent. "I know this necklace."

"I thought it may have something to do with you," Serena said sitting up and holding the sheet to her chest again, feeling vulnerable without it.

"And you didn't tell me?" he asked with a little bit of an edge to his voice and Serena flinched. She looked into those stormy blue eyes that matched the diamonds in his hand and bit her lip.

"I wasn't sure, I've had that necklace for as long as I can remember and it's never been more than a beautiful piece of jewelry until I met you," Serena said thinking back to the shock she felt when she made that connection to his eyes from the pendent. "I thought that it might just be a coincidence that your eyes match the diamonds."

"Why am I only seeing this now?" he asked looking at it and Serena frowned, she wondered why it was such a big deal to him. "Why didn't you find out if it was more than a coincidence?"

"I didn't think it would matter so much Nate," Serena said biting the inside of her lip and Nate just stared at the necklace. "It's just a necklace with a blue heart pendent that I've had since I was a little girl, why _does_ it matter so much?"

"I - This necklace -" he started, he didn't know how to phrase what he needed to tell her about the necklace. "You know what … I'm going to be late for work."

"No," Serena said getting off the bed and holding the sheet around her body, reaching out to grab his arm, stopping him from moving away. "You will tell me why this necklace ruined what was meant to be a perfect morning."

"I can't do this right now Serena," Nate said calmly but Serena could tell his voice was hard and he was trying to control the anger behind it. "We'll talk later."

Serena huffed as he walked out of her room and closed the door to his, she got back onto her bed and covered herself to hide the tears that were making its way down her cheeks. She heard the door open and close again when Nate left their house and Serena angrily wiped the tears that were falling without her permission. Why was that little blue heart causing her such pain when it's always brought her such peace, she knew it had something to do with Nate since the day she met him but she never assumed it would cause such a huge reaction.

* * *

"Hey baby bro," Serena exclaimed when she saw Erik, throwing her arms around him and squeezing him tight. "I haven't seen you in such a long time."

"It's only been a few weeks," Erik said laughing. "And I'm not a baby anymore, I'm going to be 20 at the end of the year."

"You're younger than I am so deal with it," she said smiling and wrapping her arm around his shoulder, dragging him into the next room so they could sit.

"Where's Nate?" Erik asked looking around for his now not so fake brother in law. "From your phone calls I thought he'd be at your side during every waking moment."

Serena rolled her eyes at her brother's overdramatic tone and sighed. "He's at work, I'm not sure if he'll be joining us tonight," she said dismissively and Erik looked at her suspiciously. "Don't give me that look everything's fine, now tell me all about your new boy toy."

It was Erik's turn to roll his eyes at his sister and sigh. "His name is Elliot and he isn't my boy toy or boyfriend, we're just testing the waters right now, just trying to see what we are," Erik said.

"Nate and I should have done that," Serena said softly, looking down at her hands.

"You two are married I don't think you could do that, but weren't you taking it 'slow'," he asked confused.

"Yeah we were but it didn't help that I was in love with him even before I broke up with Dan," Serena said shrugging. "Maybe he doesn't love me, maybe he just said that to get me to stop taking it slow and now he's looking for a way out just like every other guy."

"Ok stop, he only told you he loved you yesterday?" Erik asked waving his hands in front of his sisters face to get her attention, Serena pressed her lips together and nodded. "Serena, Nate's been in love with you since your wedding maybe even before that, it's been obvious to everyone, we were just waiting for you to realize it."

"He has?" Serena asked picking her head up, the corners tilting up in a smile before she realized it and her mood instantly better, she remembered Chuck dancing with her and implying that she had the ability to hurt Nate and Erik wanting to tell her something about Nate but only now does she realize exactly what they saw that she didn't. But then she remembered what happened that morning and she immediately stopping the hopefulness. "Then everyone was wrong, he doesn't love me, he just wanted to sleep with me."

"Start from the beginning, what are you talking about?" Erik said slapping his forehead with the palm of his hand, he was never going to get anywhere with his sister when she was like this.

"Remember I told you that we weren't doing anything for Valentine's Day because we were both so busy?" she asked and Erik nodded slowly confused about what that had to do with this story. "Well yesterday he surprised me with flowers and wine and he cooked and I was just so happy."

"I would also tell that story at every chance I got if my boyfriend did something like that but why are you so depressed?" Erik asked raising an eyebrow and Serena sighed.

"Well, do you -" she started but got cut off by the door opening and shutting, she furrowed her brows and looked toward the entrance to see Nate coming toward them with a huge smiled on his face.

"Hey babe," he said easily dropping a kiss to Serena's shocked lips and then turning to Erik. "Hey Erik, how have you been?" he asked offering up his hand for Erik to shake.

"Oh you know the usual," Erik said amused because his sister was staring at Nate like he was from an alternate universe and Nate was acting like whatever Serena was about to tell him hadn't really happened.

"Did you guys eat without me?" Nate asked his hand on Serena's shoulder, who was staring at it like it would disappear with him at any moment.

"No, Serena wasn't sure if you would make it so we were going to wait a little longer," Erik said, he glanced over curiously at his sister who looked up at the mention of her name and silently thanked Erik for saying something because she was still recovering from Nate's attitude.

"I don't know about the two of you but I'm starved," Nate said squeezing Serena's shoulder gently and walking toward the dining room, expecting the van der Woodsen siblings to follow him.

Erik turned to his sister as they stood and raised his eyebrows because Nate was acting like everything was perfectly fine but she looked as if she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Maybe you over-reacted?"

"Maybe," Serena said slowly for his sake, she knew she didn't over-react and she knew how angry he was in the morning, so what happened?

Nate and Erik carried on the conversation at the table, they spoke about sport and politics and Erik's campus life, Serena just ate quietly and watched Nate for any signs of anger toward her and wondered if this was all an act just because her brother was sitting opposite her. She knew Nate and Erik got on but she didn't realize how at ease they were with each other until then, it was like she wasn't there and two best friends were catching up.

Nate took her hand under the table and interlinked their fingers, a silent apology, Serena smiled to herself and squeezed his hand back, feeling more at ease as she worked her way into their conversation. She watched as her brother animatedly explained to Nate how he met Elliot at a foam party and what he had to do to get his attention. Nate didn't look uncomfortable and Serena wondered if he had known before this that Erik was gay, since he'd come out to their family a few years back she was the only one who didn't try to hide it, so therefore very few people knew.

"I'm sorry," Nate said when Erik excused himself from the table a little later. "I know I was an ass earlier but I was just surprised, I'll explain later."

"Ok," Serena said smiling and leaning in so she could kiss him without thinking that he was angry at her for the first time since that morning.

"That was mom checking up again," Erik said rolling his eyes. "Just because I don't live at home anymore doesn't mean that I need to spend every moment there when I come into the city."

"It's mom Erik," Serena said shaking her head. "You know she misses you."

"No, she doesn't miss _me_," he said as he sat down. "She misses having someone there to control."

"You could always stay with us," Serena said looking to Nate who nodded.

"I don't mind," Nate said agreeing with his wife.

"And mess up your newly dating bliss by having mom stop by every few hours," Erik said looking at them and Serena cringed. "I wouldn't do that to you, besides it's only a few more days."

"She's not that bad," Serena said. "She's barely come here."

"That's because I'm the favorite child," Erik said and Serena stuck her tongue out at him. He's always been closer to their parents, especially their mother than she has because she had unresolved angry feelings toward them that she knew would never fully go away after they left, she remembered more than Erik did so it was easier for him to accept when they finally returned. "Plus you and mom never agree on anything so I think she likes to avoid clashing with you."

"Whatever," Serena said rolling her eyes and the boys laughed at her. It was barely half an hour later when Erik announced that he was leaving and he'll see them soon. Nate shook his hand and made some sports joke that Serena didn't really get and then left them alone.

"You over-reacted?" Erik asked and Serena shrugged.

"I'll find out now I guess," she said holding her arms out for him to hug her and she smiled, she's loved Erik's hugs ever since he was a baby. "The offer stands, you're welcome to stay here."

"I know but from what you were saying earlier I think you and Nate have some things to talk about without me eavesdropping," he said and Serena laughed and pushed him playfully. "I'm glad it's nothing serious, you look happy."

"Bye," Serena called as he got into a cab and disappeared into the night. She closed the door and made her way upstairs to Nate's room where he was undoing his buttons on his shirt. "Shouldn't you leave that to me?"

"All yours," he said with a smirk, spreading his arms out so she could easily access his shirt. "About this morning, I think I have a few things I need to explain."

"What happened Nate? Was that a one-time thing or are you going to storm out every time you find a piece of jewelry in my room?" she asked and Nate sighed taking her hands in his to stop their movements and hold them gently against his chest.

"That was a one-time thing," he said taking a deep breath. "I recognized that necklace and I … I didn't know how to react."

"Why?" Serena asked. "How is it connected to you? How is it connected to your eyes?"

"That eye thing was pure coincidence," Nate said with a light chuckle. "The necklace was my grandmothers and it's been passed down through the van der Bilt line for generations. The wife of the firstborn son gets it or something like that."

"How did I end up with it if it was supposed to be your aunts?" Serena asked, she knew that William van der Bilt had two children, Nate's mother and a son who she met once at her wedding reception, so that meant that his uncle's wife would have been the one to inherit this piece.

"We were having a party at my grandfather's house when I was like 6, my uncle had just gotten married and my mother was having a fit because she refused to let that woman have it, she wanted that necklace back," Nate said getting lost in his memory. "So she threw a fit, saying that her mother left the heirloom for her and stuff and she took it."

"How did your grandfather handle that?" Serena asked almost laughing at the thought of Nate's grandfather being yelled at by his daughter.

"He was scared honestly," Nate said laughing. "My mom refused to carry on that tradition, she said she wanted my future wife to have it, she didn't care that it wasn't going to the van der Bilt name."

Serena smiled and bit her lip, touching her forehead to their joined hands and picking it up again to meet his blue eyes.

"I lost it that night and somehow you found it," Nate said shaking his head fondly. "The necklace may not have come to you the way she wanted it too but you are my wife and you do have it so if you'll forgive me for being such a terrible husband, I'd like to give it back to you."

"Of course I forgive you," Serena said reaching up to take his face in her hands and kiss him. Nate pulled the necklace out of his pocket and Serena moved her hair back so he could clasp it properly around her neck.

"Perfect," Nate said and Serena smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I really am sorry about this morning."

"Nate stop," Serena said shaking her head. "I understand now, stop apologizing."

"Thank you," he said touching their noses together.

"Don't thank me yet, I may have compared you to a few guys that used me in high school," Serena said scrunching up her nose apologetically.

"Ouch," Nate said making a hissing sound as well. "I guess I deserved that and that would explain your and Erik's look when I came home earlier."

"I may have been complaining," Serena said biting her lip and smiling cheekily.

"May?" Nate asked tilting his head and Serena just shrugged.

"Don't worry, I still love you," she said laughing as he leaned down to capture her lips.

* * *

**A/N : hey guys I know you probably hate me right now for making you wait almost 2 weeks for this chapter, I'm so sorry I have been swamped with work and everything has just been crazy but I'm really glad you guys are enjoying the story, although I dont know if you liked the last chapter coz I didnt get alot of reviews**

**Ok so the necklace has finally made its grand appearance and I know it was probably not what you guys were expecting but it wasnt meant to be a huge plot point I just liked mentioning it in every chapter hehe **

**Its 2:30am right now and I am dead tired so I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter please review and for the guests who cant follow this story and those who have accounts but dont follow stories lol my twitter account is NikNakPaddyWak3, I tweet whenever I update if you want updates :)**

**Please review and let me know what you think, I will try to be on time next week, again I'm really sorry about the long wait**

**If there are any errors let me know and I'll fix them as soon as I can**

**Until Next Time(^^,)**


	15. Chapter 15

"I finally got to go onto Nate's boat," Serena said as she browsed through dresses with Blair at one of their shopping dates. "It's pretty impressive."

"That boy has no idea what to do with it so he just makes sure its brought to him wherever he goes," Blair said rolling her eyes.

"Hasn't he ever tried to learn to sail it?" Serena asked and Blair shook her head looking away as if to gather her thoughts.

"No, Nate's always been sentimental, after his parents … he held onto everything that they left behind so tightly, he was like a hoarder," Blair said carefully and Serena unconsciously touched the pendent, Nate's reaction when he found it made a little more sense now. "That boat was his huge connection to his father, the Captain was going to take him out to sea and teach him the ins and outs so Nate refused help from anyone else and now it's just there as an escape."

"Was he close to his parents?" Serena asked, she knew she should be having this conversation with Nate but she didn't know how to ask about his parents without feeling like she's going to overstep some imaginary line, Blair looked up at her as if she was having the same thoughts but smiled and nodded.

"We only became friends after that so I don't know exactly," she said taking a deep breath. "But from what he's told us, it seemed as if they were the perfect parents."

"What I wouldn't give to have a set of those," Serena mumbled and Blair laughed, obviously hearing what she said.

"We all would," Blair said pulling out a dress and Serena smiled at her.

Serena almost jumped when her phone began to ring in her bag, she dug it out and saw Dan's name flashing on the screen, she sighed and cut the call and deleted it from her log, keeping it in her hand so she could cut the call if he called again.

"Who was that?" Blair asked curiously because of Serena's reaction, holding out a dress to Serena.

"My mother," Serena said rolling her eyes and taking the dress from Blair. "If she wants me to attend another benefit I may scream, I'm going to try this on," she said before looking at the dress properly. "Really? This dress?"

"I just need to see what you look like in it so I have a better idea of what your bridesmaids dress will look like," Blair said like it was obvious. "Come on we don't have all day."

Serena laughed and threw her bag and phone onto one of the chairs Blair would be sitting on before slipping into the change room and pulling the dress on. Her mind was on the necklace and Nate's reaction though, she knew she was being stupid by not just asking him about his past but after his outburst when he found the necklace she felt like maybe she's going to overstep her boundaries by asking something like that.

Serena sighed and rubbed her temples she was going to give herself a headache thinking about this, she and Nate had gotten past that, she should be able to just go to him with things, Nate isn't Dan, he isn't going to get angry for things like that, she knew he wouldn't but she was just so damn paranoid.

She shook her head and looked at herself in the mirror to make sure the dress was on the right way before opening the door to show it to Blair. "I think it's really pretty but I really don't like this bow," Serena said laughing as she fingered the huge bow at her hip. She was looking down at the bow but Blair hadn't said anything for a few moments and Serena knew she was there so she looked up to find Blair staring at her the way she stared the day they met. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she said holding her hand up to show Serena that she had her phone. "Are you?"

"What are you doing with that?" Serena gasped reaching forward and grabbing her phone from the other girl. "You don't just look through other people's phones."

"Do you have something to hide?" Blair asked calmly and Serena took another breath to calm herself down.

"Of course not but I like my privacy," Serena snapped. "You thought I lied about my mom calling earlier so you looked through my phone?"

"I didn't look through your phone," Blair said pursing her lips and Serena looked at her confused.

"Then why are you looking at me like you found something wrong on my phone?" Serena asked, her anger subsiding rapidly.

"I've always wanted to come to New York and when Nate told us about his plans Chuck and I decided to follow him," Blair said and Serena shook her head about to ask what this had to do with anything when Blair held up a hand. "I would be lying if I said a big part of my decision wasn't because I felt the need to protect Nate."

"What are you getting at Blair?" Serena asked testily, she just wanted to know why Blair thought she had something to hide.

"I'm saying that Nate is my best friend and he loves you so if you're cheating on him you should probably hide it better from me," Blair said standing and moving closer so that she was in Serena's face. "I don't care what Dan was to you or what the two of you talk about over tea but if you want to keep your relationship with Nate, I suggest you stop seeing him, understand?"

"It's not-"

"I just said I don't care, now I'm going to give you time to tell Nate all about this but I don't keep secrets from him so if I see him before you have a chance to say anything then he will know," Blair said dangerously. "I didn't go through your phone, you got a message and it was displayed on your screen for anyone to see, I'd be more careful if I were you, I'm late to meet Chuck, do speak to Nate soon."

With that Blair picked up her bag and strolled out of the changing area and presumably out of the store leaving Serena shocked and open-mouthed, staring after her. It took a few moments and another ping form her phone for Serena to snap out of her haze, she quickly changed out of that dress and checked her phone, she had two unread messages, one from Nate and one from … Dan.

Serena checked the one from Nate first and smiled at his SOS, he was in another meeting and he was bored out of his mind, Serena wondered if he realized what he was getting himself into when he decided to come to New York and start the magazine. She sent him a quick reply hoping it doesn't disturb him and took a deep breath.

She bit her lip as she checked the message from Dan and blew out an annoyed breath because now she knew why Blair was so annoyed with her, she met Dan for lunch a few days ago, they didn't exactly part on good terms and he started trying to get back in contact with her for the past few weeks so she figured it wouldn't hurt to hear what he wanted to say, they have known each other for years and after everything that happened she thought she owed him that much.

They met at a small café that they used to go to in Brooklyn when they first started dating, they spoke about general things and then he said he missed her and she froze because she didn't know how to respond to that, how do you tell someone that you barely thought about them. He mentioned her relationship with Nate and she refused to go into that with him so she left and told him that it was nice to see him again but she was with Nate and he was going to need to realize that before they became friends again, that even though the contract only had 4 months left, she wasn't going to leave Nate just because the contract said she could, they were in a proper relationship, one that she didn't want to leave.

She didn't expect Dan to message her to say that he had a great time at lunch and they should do it again.

Serena rubbed her face as she walked through town thinking about the right way to tell Nate exactly what happened before Blair did.

"Oh no," Serena said when she saw her mother standing on her porch waiting for her. "Can this day get any worse?"

* * *

"Serena darling," Lily greeted when she saw her daughter, kissing Serena on her cheek and letting her open the door for them to go in. "How are you?"

"Great, mother, and you?" Serena asked opening the door and shrugging out of her coat. "What brings you all the way here to my lovely abode?" Serena asks dryly because she's not in a very good mood and in the 8 months that she's been married, her parents had barely come to the house, preferring her and Nate to meet at their apartment or seeing them at parties and other events.

"I was just wondering why you're still married," Lily asks bluntly and Serena is caught off guard.

"What do you mean?" Serena asks shaking her head and staring at her mother. "I thought I still had a few months before you asked me that question."

"I know darling but I just assumed Nathaniel spoke to you," Lily said holding her hands up. "Do the two of you just not talk at all?"

"Of course we do," Serena said with a frown at the way her mother was speaking but then remembered that Erik is the only one from her family that knows about her and Nate, she's just been so wrapped up in a bubble with Nate that she forgot to let everyone know that their act wasn't an act anymore. "Mom, Nate and I are together."

"Of course you're together but that doesn't mean that you have to be together behind closed doors," Lily said as if Serena just didn't understand how anything worked.

"No mom I mean that we're really together, behind open and closed doors," Serena said, slowing down after saying that because she wasn't sure whether what she said made much sense. "We're a real couple."

"Oh," Lily said looking at her daughter, her mouth forming words but no sound was coming out so Serena let what she said sink in. "Well then whatever I had to say is irrelevant, congratulations."

"Thanks," Serena said as Lily wrapped her up in a hug, Serena smiled because each time she thought about how far she and Nate had come since they met she couldn't help but get a giddy feeling in her tummy.

"When did this happen and why haven't you told your father or me?" Lily asked when she finally pulled away, holding Serena at arm's length. "Erik is going to be so excited."

"I told Erik already," Serena said and Lily's smiled dropped for a second before she picked it up again. "I was waiting for the right time to tell you, it hasn't been very long obviously," she said shrugging because that was true she and Nate were together maybe four months at most as much as she'd love to count her entire marriage it wasn't until the weeks after her accident that she and Nate actually got to know each other and start dating.

"Oh, well now I know, we just have to tell your father," Lily said placing her hands on her chest. "What happened to Dan?"

"It didn't work out and I realized I wanted to be with Nate," Serena said almost laughing at her mother's face when she asked about Dan. "Everything is as it should be."

"I'm glad," Lily said nodding her head. "We should have him over officially then," she said and Serena's smile fell and her eyes became wide because 'no, just … no'.

"Oh mom you don't have to do that yet, maybe we can wait a while, let me talk to dad first," she said, she remembered her father interrogating Dan when she first took him to meet her parents and the terrible relationship they had with him afterward. She didn't want that for Nate, she needed to get a good reaction from her father before she introduced Nate as her boyfriend/ real husband, they were still working on the labels.

"Oh honey you know he likes Nate already, you have nothing to worry about," Lily said dismissively but Serena just wanted to keep Nate to herself a little longer before letting her dad and grandmother know.

"Can you please just let me tell dad?" Serena asked and Lily rolled her eyes but agreed.

"If you insist," she said shaking her head.

"Mom what was Nate supposed to tell me?" Serena asked, she was curious to know what Nate could have told her to make her mother think she could step out of the marriage if she wanted to before the year was over.

"It's not important anymore darling," Lily said checking her phone. "I have a meeting a few blocks away now, I'll see you soon."

"Mom just tell me," Serena said after her mother kissed her cheek. "I'm sure it just slipped his mind or something."

"Well I don't know how it could," Lily said with a slight shrug. "William and your father came to an agreement about two or three months ago."

"An agreement?" Serena asked dubiously crossing her arms across her chest. "About what?"

"About the contract," Lily said waving her hand as if it should be obvious. "Nathaniel is well known in all our circles after your wedding and they all love him so he doesn't need you anymore and William has helped your father and I get out of debt so our money problems no longer exist."

"What does that mean?" Serena asked softly.

"It means that you don't need to wait for the full year, you and Nate could have publically separated anytime in the past two months or well now that you're together, if you ever feel like it isn't working out, you can just walk out," Lily said with a soft smile that Serena rarely saw her mother wear as she touched Serena's face. "Don't think about it so much, you and Nathaniel are together now, this contract in null and void, just enjoy _being_ together."

Lily kissed her daughter's head and looked at her watch again saying that she needed to leave before she was late, all of which Serena missed because she was still thinking about how Nate failed to tell her about her being able to leave the contract whenever she wanted to.

She didn't need to stay married to him, she helped her parents and she's helped him and he's known for two months, he's known since before their Valentine's Day dinner, maybe since they began their actual relationship and he never once felt the need to tell her that she had a choice, that she could stay married to him because she wanted to not because of a deal she agreed to, when she thought there was no other way.

She clenched her jaw and cursed the hot tears that sprung to her eyes, she was supposed to trust him, she thought he would never hide anything from her, it's not like this was trivial information and it affected her life in a really big way. How could he keep something like that from her?

* * *

Serena sat on the stairs twisting her engagement and wedding rings around her finger, she had no idea what she was going to say to Nate or how she was going to ask him about the contract. She blinked back tears and the feeling of being betrayed, sucking in a quick nervous breath when she heard the key turn in the lock and Nate opened the door. She stood up slowly as he closed the door, put his things down and turned to look at her, staring at her for a few moments before speaking.

"I think we need to talk," he said seriously crossing his arms across his chest and Serena took a deep breath and nodded.

"I think we do too," she said mimicking his unconsciously by crossing her arms and staring back, this was it.

* * *

**A/N : Hey guys new chapter like maybe a day late but at least its not two weeks late hehe ok so as much as I've dragged and stetched it out, this story is coming to an end and there are two ways to end it, give it a happily ever after or not so happy ever after but leave the ending open enough for a sequel, I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet but I'm not very good with sequels so we'll see if I can come up with anything spactacular before I have to write that ending, what do you guys think?**

**I know I'm giving them more problems but what couple is perfect? I like to think they're perfect but it would be kinda boring if they were always happy hehe I know there wasnt alot of NS in this chapter but the next chapter should have them in it, remember this is mainly from Serena's perspective if you're wondering why I'm giving you so much Serena and so little Nate **

**I forgot where I was in the story so I had to draw a timeline for myself lol it was a little random but it worked and I figured out my dates, hopefully my continuity is better than the shows was.**

**Anyway guys please review and let me know what you think, I love the response this story has gotten so far and I appreciate every one of your reviews so thank you for that**

**Remember to check out 'Your song' its a really short story, kinda like a drabble that follows 'World So Cold' if Serena had lived**

**If you want me to write any other NS stories just let me know, thanks again for reading this**

**Until Next Time(^^,)**


	16. Chapter 16

"So what do you have to talk to me about Nate," Serena asked raising her eyebrows, wondering if he would tell her what her mother did.

"Do you have anything to tell me?" he asked and Serena clenched her jaw and shook her head.

"No," she said, the question had caught her off-guard, she didn't pause to look at the emotion on his face or think about what he needed to talk to her about, she just wanted to get past whatever he wanted to say quickly so she could get to her questions.

"Are you sure?" he asks like she's a child and Serena closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to control her emotions.

"Yes I'm sure Nate, what do you want me to tell you?" she asked tightly because she was waiting for him to tell her about the agreement but he was talking as if he was waiting for her to tell him something.

"I want you to tell me what this is," he said hopefully, holding out his phone out to her. "And I want you to tell me it's not what it looks like."

Serena furrowed her eyebrows together as she took his phone frowning as she saw the Gossip Girl logo. "Gossip Girl is not someone you should believe," Serena said glaring up at him and Nate just took a breath and crossed his arms.

"Just read it," he said almost exhaustedly and Serena looked back down at the phone because something in his eyes told her that he really needed to know what she had to say about this.

She scrolled down and gasped when she saw a picture of her and Dan at the café they met at the week before, it looked so … intimate, it looked as if they were still dating. She didn't know who took the picture but she remembers having to lean a little closer across the table when the waiter needed to get through the little space between her chair and another customers.

"Tell me she's lying about the dates, tell me that was taken last year when you were still dating," Nate said softly, his eyes searching her face for some kind of reaction to let him know that there is nothing for him to be worried about, Serena didn't say anything she just stared at the picture and the blurb beneath it where Gossip Girl speculated that she was cheating on Nate with Dan. "Say something Serena."

"Are you keeping track of me?" Serena asked knowing as soon as she said it that he wouldn't do that, her mind immediately jumping to Blair and the conversation they had when Dan messaged her earlier that day. "Did Blair show you this?"

"Of course not and what does Blair have to do with any of this," he said looking at her incredulously. "One of the interns brought it to me as I was leaving."

"Of course," she mumbled and Nate scoffed.

"You think I wanted to see this, I would have gladly stayed ignorant," he told her. "I would never search Gossip sites to see what people have to say about you but when I get evidence like that I need to know what the hell we're doing together if you're with him."

Serena swallowed hard and looked back up into Nate's panicked blue eyes. "It was taken last week," she said in barely a whisper, handing him back his phone and Nate shook his head.

"Are you cheating?" he asked looking straight at her, he didn't sound angry, disappointed maybe and shocked none of which helped her current feelings toward him. "Are you back together with him? Has everything that's happened in the past few weeks been a lie?"

"Apparently it has," Serena said getting angry at him for not telling her about the contract and for actually thinking that she would cheat. "How could you think that I would do that to you?"

"Because this doesn't look like a friendly encounter between two ex's," he said his voice getting louder with every word. "This looks like a date Serena, it looks like the two of you are still lovers."

"No we aren't," she said refusing to discuss this anymore when she needed answers of her own. "How could you not tell me about us not needing to be married anymore?"

It took Nate a second to register the topic change and another second to realize exactly what the topic changed to. "I didn't think it would matter," he said holding out his arms and shaking his head. "We're together now, I assumed you wanted to stay with me, why are you getting so angry?"

"So you're allowed to get angry when I forget to tell you about a necklace that I didn't know was connected to you but I'm not allowed to say anything when you conveniently forgot to tell me something that affects me directly," Serena screamed, she couldn't help it, she was so upset with him, he lied to her about something huge, something that wouldn't have made any difference if he told her about it when he found out but now just makes her feel betrayed.

"That was different, I didn't think you'd care about this," Nate said rubbing his temples.

"I didn't think you'd care about the damn necklace but here we are having a screaming match because you are keeping things from me," Serena said taking a deep breath and gripping the banister so hard that her knuckles were turning white.

"Serena, all my grandfather told me was that we could get out of the contract early since all the other conditions were met," he said taking a step toward her. "I told him that we were really in love and we were going to stay married, I thought you would feel the same."

"I would have liked the option," she said furrowing her eyebrows and Nate nodded and rolled his eyes.

"Option? I didn't think you'd need the option," Nate said tilting his head back and then bringing it down so he could look at her. "I feel like we're going around in circles, I love you, I want to stay married to you and maybe I didn't tell you because I was afraid you'd walk out once you knew."

Serena immediately softened at his confession but she still had this anger toward him in her, no matter how irrational it might be she just couldn't let it go. "You should have told me," she said, tears springing to her eyes because she can't let this go as easily as he expects her to. "I shouldn't have to find out things like this from my mother, she shouldn't get to look at me the way she did when she realized that we're together and I was supposed to know something that you should have told me, I don't need that from her."

"I know and I'm sorry," he said stepping closer and placing his hand on the one she has gripping the banister, she could feel the muscles relaxing under his touch and the nerves she never fails to get when he's this close to her.

"Don't," Serena said snatching her hand back from under his. "You don't get to make me feel better right now, I'm angry with you and I don't want to forgive you yet."

Nate looked at her confused but took a step back to give her a little more space and sighed. "What are we doing Serena?"

"I don't know," she said sitting down on the stairs, watching as Nate stepped around her so he could do the same. "I thought we'd be the couple that never fought."

"I don't think that's possible," Nate said with a light chuckle and Serena put her head in her hands.

"I know that it wouldn't have made a difference but it makes me so angry that you didn't trust me enough to tell me when you found out," Serena said and Nate nodded next to her, looking straight ahead lost in his own thoughts.

"I get why you're upset with me, I know I made a stupid decision when I chose to hide that from you, I know I was being selfish because I thought that you'd leave if I told you that you could," Nate finally said turning so he could look at her and Serena sucked in a quick breath but she refused to look at him, keeping her eyes trained on whatever was in front of her. "I don't want this to be the thing that drives us apart, in the few months that I've known you and been married to you I've been happier than I thought possible."

Serena pressed her lips together and willed the tears to go away, his words hitting an emotional chord she thought would stay dormant for this fight.

"It's up to you now," Nate said when she didn't answer. "You can stay with me and we can move past this and our relationship will be all ours, without any papers binding us together, or you can walk away and I'll make our separation public at the end of the week."

Serena nodded slowly still looking straight ahead, she knew that his grandfather had something huge and formal planned and that Nate was going to say something on behalf of the van der Bilt family. She could feel Nate fidgeting next to her, the wait for her answer eating at him and Serena honestly didn't know what to do, on the one hand she was in love with him and she didn't want anything, especially not something as stupid as this, get in between them but on the other hand she just felt like he should have told her this when he found out, she still felt the embarrassment at not knowing from her mother's visit and she can't help but feel like they got into their relationship too fast no matter how hard she fought that.

She knows their fight about the necklace was over in a few hours and that was largely due to the fact that he forgave her that easily but she wasn't like that, she couldn't admit that she was wrong easily, she hated admitting she was wrong. One of the main reasons she and Dan fought often was that neither of them liked admitting they were wrong about something, it took them days to resolve their problems and interference from Erik and Jenny if it was really out of control.

Serena reached up and unclipped the necklace from her neck, wordlessly placing it in Nate's hand and going up to her room. She wiped her cheeks as she stuffed clothes into her bag and took a deep breath as she lugged the bag out of her room and down the stairs where Nate was standing.

"This is yours," he said holding out the necklace for her to take, when he saw her hesitate he took her hand and gently placed it there, wrapping his hand around hers as he closed her closed her fingers around the necklace. Serena held her breath as they stared into each other's eyes, she knew he wanted her to stay but she couldn't, she just felt like if they had met under different circumstances and she and Dan came to a less complicated end then it would have worked out differently.

Serena pushed herself up on her toes so she could kiss Nate on his cheek as a goodbye, got into the cab and looked straight ahead until the driver asked her where she wanted to go and she felt stumped. Usually when she was in this mood she would go to Brooklyn and knock on Dan's door, she didn't want to see her parents and her brother was back at college, the only other place she could think of going to was her grandmothers. She gave the driver the address and leaned back in her seat and sighed, what was she doing?

* * *

"Not that I don't adore having you here darling but you're moping and it's making me drink more," Cece said taking a seat on the couch next to her granddaughter and Serena gave her and amused look.

"Grandma you always drink too much," Serena reminded her and Cece rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her long island ice tea and smiling.

"You should try it," Cece said raising her eyebrows at Serena. "Might brighten your mood."

"I don't think so," Serena mumbled pulling her legs up to her chest and sighing for what may be the thousandth time that week.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked and Serena tilted her head to look up at her grandmother, they never had the closest of relationships, when Serena was younger it felt as if she was just there for them out of obligation and as they got older and her parents reappeared it seemed as if she wanted to everything she could to drive Serena's father away again which caused a lot of tension with everyone but no matter what Serena felt, she knew if she ever needed anything her grandmother was right there. "I've heard about all the sighs I can take right now."

Serena giggled and shrugged. "I love Nate," she said biting her lip and looking down at her toes. "And I made a really stupid mistake by walking out of the house on Monday."

"So go back," Cece said like it was just so easy and Serena frowned.

"It's not that easy grandma," Serena said shaking her head.

"Of course it is, you're just making it difficult, there's a reason you haven't taken those rings off yet," Cece said with a little bit of an annoyed edge to her voice and when Serena didn't respond the older woman looked over at her defeated granddaughter and tentatively rubbed her back. "Well then tell me what happened so I can help you."

"He didn't tell me something that I should have known and I found out from mom and so … I walked out," Serena said and Cece rolled her eyes, it was all as vague as the first time she heard this story. "How sad is it that a random pairing because our families needed help, gave me what could be the love of my life and I walked out on him."

"Oh no Serena, what's sad is that you and Nathaniel still think this was random," Cece said, she wasn't supposed to tell Serena any of this but she couldn't keep her mouth shut when the girl was going to depress everyone she came in contact with until she was back with Nate.

Serena looked up at her grandmother confused and leaned back away from her and her touch, "What are you talking about?"

"When you were younger I took you to a garden party at the Hamptons and you saw this blond boy that you were completely taken with," Cece and Serena frowned because she didn't remember anything. "At six years old, the two of you looked at each other and I could see a connection, I could picture how perfect your lives could be and I searched your eyes every time you brought a boy home and you've never looked at anyone the way you looked at that little boy."

"I was six," Serena said furrowing her brows. "You probably saw childish curiosity."

"Ah I thought that as well until I saw you and Nathaniel on your wedding day," Cece said. "William and I have always known there was something special between the two of you so when he mentioned Nate wanting to move to New York we came up with a plan that would benefit you both, I knew you would never pay attention to Nathaniel if you kept following that Brooklyn boy of yours around and throwing you together in a marriage seemed ideal."

"How could you do that?" Serena asked. "If you just introduced me to him I would have probably felt something."

"We couldn't be sure, even if you held on to his mother's necklace like it was your lifeline," Cece said with a smile. "We never expected you two to fall in love so quickly, just the way he looks at you gives me Goosebumps, we thought one year would be enough time for the two of you to at least get used to being in each other's lives, we never expected your father to fight for your freedom so hard, William had to agree to let you out of the contract to avoid any unwanted suspicion."

"You…?" Serena said standing and pushing her fingers into her hair. "What?"

"The boy doesn't know, he's just as lost as you are," Cece said because she knew where her granddaughters mind was going and Serena nodded and shook her head. "Serena there's no doubt in my mind that he's your happy ever after, just like all those stories you used to tell me when you were a little girl."

"I was a child reading fairytales," Serena said still processing everything her grandmother said.

"And now you're a grown woman letting a fairytale go," Cece said and Serena blinked surprised and stared at her grandmother.

"He's announcing the divorce tonight, I'm signing the papers tomorrow," Serena said sinking back down onto the couch. "It's over."

"Not if you go to him, not if you tell him that you want to work through it," Cece said standing and taking her drink with her. "There's no doubt in my mind that he'll drop everything just to be with you."

"There's barely enough time," Serena said standing as well and looking around in a panic. "Even if I leave right now and why are you smiling like that?"

"Tony is waiting outside with an order to break the rules of the road to get you there as quickly as possible and you are definitely not going dressed like that so if you go up to your room there's a little surprise on your bed," Cece said with a wink and a smile and then looked completely surprised when Serena threw herself at her grandmother, hugging her tightly and thanking her before racing to the stairs, she just hoped she could get there in time to stop Nate from telling all of New York that they were over.

* * *

**A/N : Ooooooh will she get there on time or will she have to do extra damage control, lol yeah I'm still working on that part but yey new chapter, I know it took forever for me come up with this one, I have no idea where all my inperation has dissapeared too!**

**So I think there's just going to be one more chapter left or two either way this story is going to be complete before the end of next week when I leave for my music festival long weekend hehe I dont want to be thinking about fanfiction when I'm there like I have done for the past 2 years, but I do want this story to have the best ending so dont worry I wont post a chapter just for the sake of getting it done**

**So I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I have an idea for a post season 6 fic I'm curious to know if anyone is still interested in reading that? Please let me know in your reviews **

**Thanks for reading please let me know what you think and review and I will hopefully be done with the next chapter by the end of next week**

**Until next time(^^,)**


	17. Chapter 17

Serena traced the outline of the heart pendent that finally had more meaning than just a feeling, on her neck nervously as the car she was in maneuvered its way through the New York traffic to get her to Nate, Serena hoped Tony knew where he was going because she really didn't. All she knew was that this party was being thrown at Chuck's new hotel and it was hosted by Nate's grandfather. She blew out a slow calming breath as the car slowed down for a red robot and she hoped she could get there on time, she needed to get there in time, they could say that they worked out their differences if Nate had already announced their broken relationship but she didn't want to have to go through all that scrutiny, keeping up the newlyweds image at first was to avoid just what she knows is going to come if she doesn't get there in time to stop him.

She doesn't want the embarrassment for her parents either, even though this was what they planned all along this was her chance to keep the family's reputation together like she failed to do every other time she had a chance, she had a lot riding on her getting there in time. She thought about what she was going to say to Nate and she kept drawing a blank, how does she apologize for being a spoilt brat who wanted to know every little thing before her mother.

Then there was the Dan issue, she knows that the picture Gossip Girl posted caused Nate to look at her differently especially since it looked so wrong. She called Dan shortly after she left her and Nate's townhouse and told him that she never wanted to hear from him again and that they were over, she sent an apologetic message to Jenny because she knew that his sister really wanted this to work out for them and the younger girl was close to her even though the last few months put a lot of strain on their little friendship.

She knew that she was with Dan for a really long time and throwing away a relationship like that over someone that she only really met 8 months ago was a risk but she felt like Nate was worth it, she felt as if she'd known Nate for longer, she felt as if he really understood her and she felt like if she let him, he'd never let her go.

"Mrs. Archibald, we're here," Tony said and Serena gasped at her last name, she should be used to being called Mrs. Archibald but it still sends shivers down her spine every time someone says it, especially Nate.

"Thank you," Serena said forcing out the words as she flung the door open and ran in her heels to the door to be greeted by Chuck.

"Serena, you finally arrived," he said almost as if he knew that she would be coming, Serena glanced at him for a second and then looked into the room to see if she could spot Nate.

"Hey Chuck, where's Nate?" she asked almost bouncing on the spot in her haste to find Nate, Chuck put his hand on her back and led her into the room so she could get a better view of the people.

"He should be by the bar," Chuck said with a smirk as he watched her eyes scan the bar. "After the speech he gave, I wouldn't blame him."

"Speech?" Serena asked stopping her efforts to locate Nate and instead focusing on Chuck and what he just said, her heart dropping to her stomach because she was too late. "I have to go," she said walking fast toward the bar, she didn't even know if Nate was there, she was just going off Chuck's word.

"Serena," Blair greeted as she walked past.

"Blair," Serena said distractedly not stopping to let the brunette say anymore.

Serena had no idea where she was going, she knew people were looking at her because they all knew who she was of course, after all the publicity they would really have to be living under a rock to not know who she was to this family. If Nate had said what she thought he was going to say in his speech then they were all probably wondering what she was doing at the event running around like a crazy person.

Serena felt as if she were in a cheesy '80's movie as she finally spotted Nate at the bar, the crowd seemed to part allowing her to run directly into his surprised arms and hold on to him with all that she had.

"Serena?" he asked almost squeaking and she nodded into his shoulder, she couldn't cry in the middle of a party with everyone watching, she still had a certain image that she knew she should maintain the feeling of being back in his arms after a week was overwhelming.

"Hi," she whispered with a smile pulling out of his arms just enough to hold his face in her hands. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," he said and Serena could see the relief flooding his face. "What are you doing here?"

"I was supposed to stop you from giving your speech and telling everyone that we were over because I don't want us to be over Nate, I don't ever want us to be over, none of this should have happened but I was just so mad," Serena said really fast and Nate chuckled at her impatience to say everything at once. "I'm sorry."

"I know, I'm sorry too," Nate said and Serena nodded and sniffed, she would not cry, not yet. "But I couldn't tell anyone we were ending our marriage, so after this party I was going to find you and fight for you."

"You were going to fight for me?" Serena asked biting her lip and blinking the tears away.

"Yeah, I don't know how that would work though because I've never had to fight for anyone before," Nate said and Serena pulled him down for a long awaited kiss.

"But your speech? Chuck made it sound like it was terrible," Serena said confused but silently so happy that no-one knew about the bump in the road, she doesn't know if she'd be able to carry on a relationship with all these people knowing how close it came to ending.

"It was terrible, just not for that reason," Nate said closing his eyes and shrugging. "I was trying to read this speech and I got to the part about you leaving and I couldn't say it, I ended up babbling like an idiot until my grandfather saved me, it was not pretty."

"I'm glad you couldn't say it," Serena said with a laugh. "I had this image of me running in here and screaming for you to stop talking or stopping you before you spoke, I didn't think I'd get here after and you'd have done exactly what I wanted you to do."

"What can I say? I'm just that good," Nate said in a mock smug voice and Serena shook her head and rolled her eyes at him. "Why don't we say bye to everyone and get out of here? I think we need to talk and I think we should have a little more privacy when that happens."

"Yeah, I like that plan," Serena said wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him in for another hug, she just wanted to hold onto him for another moment before they had to make their rounds and leave.

Serena expected the goodbyes and explanations about where she was for the first half of the event to take at least an hour but Nate spoke to his grandfather who happily led them out after five minutes, promising that he'll sort everything out.

"Aren't you going to call us a cab?" Serena asked when they were outside on the sidewalk.

"And wait longer? I think the fresh air will be good for us," Nate said and Serena pushed her eyebrows together, looking at Nate and then looking down at her shoes. "It's not that far," he said and Serena looked at him incredulously. "I'll carry you when your feet get sore."

"I'll hold you to that," Serena said and then shivered as the wind picked up, Nate shrugged his coat off and draped it around her shoulders. Serena smiled at him and wrapped her hands around his arm, resting her head on his shoulder as they began to walk. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the contract being null and void," Nate said placing his hand over hers and playing with her wedding rings like she always tended to do. "We were just starting our relationship and you and Dan had just broken up and I figured if you knew you didn't _have_ to stay with me then you wouldn't want to and you'd go back to him."

"I know, I thought about it a lot when I was at my grandmothers, everything you said seemed more reasonable when I was calmed down," Serena said squeezing his hand. "I would have probably done the same thing if the situation was reversed but when I found out I didn't think, I just reacted and my first instinct was to lash out."

"Well I for one am glad that this is all clear," Nate said and Serena smiled to herself.

"I feel like this was too easy, like we should have fought more or something," she said and Nate laughed out loud.

"Don't you think all the fighting we did the other day was enough?" Nate asked and Serena acted like she was thinking about it for a second before nodding and Nate smiled at her. "I think we fought, we spent enough time away from each other to realize what we did wrong, we said sorry and now we're happy."

"Great summary of our week," Serena said giggling, she never expected Nate to just get over it, she doesn't know why she always thought he would expect more apologies. "What did people say when you showed up solo tonight?"

"They were curious," Nate said pulling her a little closer to avoid knocking into a group of people standing on the sidewalk. "I just said you weren't feeling too well, which they must have figured wasn't true when you came speeding in there."

"I'm sorry I blew your cover," Serena said with a little giggle.

"It was worth it," Nate said stopping so he could kiss her. "God I missed you."

"It's only been a few days," Serena said touching his cheek. "What are you going to do if we have to stay away from each other for longer than that?"

"Never again," Nate said as they started walking again. "We'll never be apart that long again."

"Is that a promise?" Serena asked biting her lip to try and mask the emotion that was breaking onto her face from Nate's words.

"Yes, it's a promise," he said and Serena smiled, hiding her face in his shoulder.

"Did you know that our arranged marriage wasn't so random?" Serena asked and Nate looked at her confused.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "I know our grandparents knew each other and this had mutual gain but other than that how could it not be random?"

"They've been waiting for an opportunity like this since we were six," Serena said and Nate frowned.

"They were going to get us married at six?" Nate asked, getting more confused by the second. "Isn't that a little young?"

"No I don't mean it like that, I just mean that we apparently had a connection when we were kids and my grandmother and your grandfather decided that they needed to reconnect us and no-one else we dated would match up."

"Well that would explain the disapproval all of my relationships," Nate said scratching his head. "Although I didn't really invest myself in those relationships, this is probably the longest relationship I've ever had."

"Should I be worried that you're going to leave me when you get bored?" Serena asked and Nate laughed.

"No, I just made you a promise to never leave you remember," he said. "I keep my promises."

"That's good to know," Serena said even though she didn't have any doubt in the first place, she was just toying with him. "Anyway, I was wondering what else they may be keeping from us."

"Does it matter?" Nate asked and Serena frowned, she didn't know, she was curious about so many things that she had to ask her grandmother but would it really make a difference to her life. "I mean they got us together and they're happy we're together so I doubt they'll do anything to sabotage it."

"Maybe," Serena said. "Aren't you curious though?"

"About why they arranged our marriage?" Nate asked and Serena nodded. "No, I'm just grateful."

"You're sweet," Serena said smiling, she knew Nate just wanted to focus on them and the future and not something that happened 16 years ago. "Speaking of marriages, am I still invited to Chuck and Blair's wedding?"

"Of course you are, why would you think otherwise?" Nate asked blinking at her.

"I just … Blair and I may have had a little fight the day we did and she found out about that lunch with Dan," Serena said cringing when Nate tensed up at the mention of her lunch with Dan.

"I don't think she's too mad with you anymore, she was there when I found out and she convinced me to listen to you before jumping to conclusions," Nate said and Serena gasped and looked up at him to see if she could find any trace of him lying to protect her feelings.

"Wow, I thought she would be the one to tell you that I was cheating," Serena said wondering why Blair didn't do what she said she was going to do.

"Maybe she likes you more than you think," Nate said and Serena nodded slowly because she was thinking the exact same thing. "If this whole thing wasn't arranged, what would your perfect wedding be like?"

"We're already married, I don't need to think about that now," Serena said raising an eyebrow, wondering where he was going with this.

"Humor me," he said rolling his eyes playfully. "I just want to know what you would have done differently."

"I would have wanted something small, with just us and our closest friends and family, rose petals on the floor and a dress that didn't look like a disco ball," Serena said and Nate laughed. "Why?"

"I just wanted to know what it would have been like if this had all happened in the traditional way," Nate said and Serena smiled.

"Sometimes I wish we could go back and do it over because this time you know that I love you and I know you love me," Serena said stopping them and cupping one of his cheeks, running her hand though his hair with her other hand.

"I want to give you that," Nate said and Serena looked at him confused as he took her hands in his, looking down at her rings. "We had the public wedding when we hardly knew each other but now we're in love and we want this to be real, so we should have a wedding that's memorable to both of us, something that's intimate and special."

"Why Mr. Archibald," Serena said giddily. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

"That I am, will you marry me again," he asked holding up her engagement ring, Serena looked down to find both her rings of her finger gone, she didn't even realize he was taking them off. "This is probably the least romantic I could have done this but it beats the first time right?"

"Yes, I'll marry you again," she said with a huge smile slipping the van der Bilt ring back on her finger and kissing him. She squealed when she felt herself being picked up and spun around.

* * *

Serena's second wedding and the only one that counted was everything she ever pictured it would be, her dress was simple and long without making her feel like she was wearing a bag of bricks. She carried a bouquet of white roses and walked on red rose petals to one of the most important men to ever enter her life.

And when she said 'I do' she could look into Nate's blue captivating eyes and mean it completely and when they kissed she could feel the nerves and happiness and passion and she knew she was in love.

* * *

She's at a boring party, her dress is making her arms itch and her shoes are pinching her toes and her mom and dad said they won't be long, her grandparents are sitting across the room but they're talking to other people and she doesn't want to disturb them. She kicks her feet up in the air as she waits, she looks around wondering if there are any other kids to play with and frowns when she doesn't see anyone. She's six and she's been sitting alone on a chair for over 10 minutes so she's really really bored and she just wants to go home and sleep or watch TV or play a game with her dad.

She pulls at the blue heart around her neck, it gives her something to do as she waits, she knows she can never lose it, her momma told her that it was her grandmothers and her great grandmothers too and if it belonged to someone great then it had to be special right? She rubbed her eyes because she was really tired and screams when someone picks her up and throws her in the air. Fear turns to joy when she realizes that it was her dad that picked her up.

"Hey kiddo," he said when he caught her. "Why didn't you go say hi to everyone with mom?"

"Because everyone pinches my cheeks," she says bringing her hands up to cover her cheeks and her dad laughed. "I'm bored."

"We'll leave as soon as grandma lets mom go," her dad says and she looks across the room to see her mom and grandmother talking and giggles because her mom looks as bored as she feels. "Want to save her?"

"Yeah," she says because the faster they get her mom away from her grandma the fast she gets to go home.

"Kiara my angel," her grandmother says taking her from her dads hands as soon as she's in reach and hugging her. "You're leaving already."

"Serena and I have another check-up tomorrow morning," her dad says placing his hand on her mom's big tummy where her new baby brother or sister is.

"Oh well, I guess I can't keep you from that," her grandmother says sadly.

"No you can't," her mom says with a huge smile hugging her grandmother and practically running out of the room, her dad laughs as he trails behind with her in his arms.

"It wasn't that bad," her dad says when they get to their house.

"Nate, it was so boring," her mom says rolling her eyes and Kiara laughed. "You found it boring as well, didn't you?"

Kiara nods her head as her dad tucks her in bed and her mom kisses her on her head and she's happy that her mom hates those parties as much as she does and that her dad can never say no to her mom when she wants to leave.

"Who knew when we reluctantly agreed to that deal that we'd have all this?" she hears her mom ask when they think she's asleep.

"And you thought you'd just be stuck with me for a year and you'd go back to Dan after," her dad replies and she frowns in her sleep because she doesn't know who Dan is.

"I'm glad it didn't work out like that," her mom says and then pauses for a moment. "I love you."

"I love you too," she hears her dad say and she smiles because that's all she needs to hear at night to know that everything will always be ok.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys we have come to the end of Those Blue Eye's, I know I know 17 is a realy awkward number of chapters to stop at but I didnt wan tto mess up the story by draggin it for another few chapters and this was how I wanted to end it anyway. I know it's a little mushy and really fluffy but I thought since the drama was in the previous chapter this should be the sweet chapter and I couldnt think of another way to end this so I have to have the musings of their daughter the same way I started with the musings of Serena**

**I feel completely drained, its 2:30 in the morning and yesterday I finished an assignment and only finished at like 7am so the past few days have been insane, I apologise for the delay with this chapter but thats my reason. I thought I'd have had this done by last weekend but I went away fro the weekend and got to see one of my absolute best friends for the first time in months so I had no time to write**

**This weekend is the music festival but it looks rainy and I'm camping so that's gonna be fun lol adn really cold, the post season 6 story will only be posted after that so look out for that story next month, I'm actually really excited about that, thatnk you to everyone who told me that they wanted the story in their reviews**

**Thank yo to everyone who reviewed, favorited, followed and read this story, the respose I got for this was amazing, I really didnt think it would be so good so thank you for that, please review and let me know what you thought of the ending**

**Thank you guys so much for all the support, cant wait to hear what you thought about this, talk to you when the next story comes out :D**

**Until Next Time (^^,)**


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